Tuesday, July 29, 2014

July 2014 Woman of Wonderosity: The Conference of Evil- Part 2!

The Conference of Evil continues with Part 2!

What will the Mutagen Man do with Miss M?
Will Maleficent get her dragon figure?
And what will become of the After Life?

Read on and find out with this special Woman of Wonderosity marking the third year anniversary for Diary of a Dorkette!

April: Hello viewers, this is April O'Neil with Channel 6 news! The ground is shaking at the Conference of Evil! This just in, Wonder Woman and Superwoman have been tearing up the streets. No word yet on when this warfare will end, but one thing is certain: the Conference of Evil is heating up! It's Godzilla sized drama and there is only one thing to do, stay tuned to Channel 6 news for any and all updates! This is April O'Neil, stay safe!

Wonder Woman: Explain yourself Superwoman! You aren't supposed to be here.

Maleficent: (as Superwoman) It's all this new 52 Wonder Woman. Anything goes!

Wonder Woman: What are you talking about?

Maleficent: Face it, you don't belong here! This is our moment, the moment for evil!

Wonder Woman: You have been causing problems for weeks. You must be stopped.
Maleficent: No one is stopping me. Now, begone!

Maleficent: I'm in charge here. (leaves to find her dragon figure)

Meanwhile in a secret location...

Miss M: How long are you planning on keeping me here?
Mutagen Man: Until I can figure out how you are giving off Miss M's body signature.

Miss M: Ok, for the last time, I am Miss M. I am her. And you can't keep me here like this.
Mutagen Man: How is that possible?
Miss M: The same way that it is possible that you look the way you do. Bad things happen. Sometimes we aren't the same people we once were. I know that you haven't always looked like that, Frink.

Mutagen Man: How did you know?

Miss M: Because I am Miss M. And I know who you were before you became the Mutagen Man.
Mutagen Man: I don't know how you are Miss M, but I can remember you vividly when we were teens...

Flashback time!

Frink: Oh, hi M.
Miss M: Hey Frink.

Frink: I heard you had been asking about me.
Miss M: No, I was asking about Fritz. Ya know, the dreamy bad boy.
Frink: Oh for cryin out glavin!

Miss M: Frink, it's never gonna happen.

Frink: Just wait M, one day I'll be a great professor and I'll buy you everything inside of Contempo Casuals and you'll be my trophy glavin.
Miss M: Frink, I'm not a trophy. Hasn't anyone ever told you how to win a woman's heart?

Frink: No, that's something even the highest IQ can't figure out.

Miss M: Oh it's easy Frink. Just be yourself. You'll find someone.

Back to the present...

Mutagen Man: So look M, I'm being myself.
Miss M: Oh Frink, it doesn't work that way.

Mutagen Man: Don't call me Frink! I'm bigger and badder! I'm the Mutagen Man! Glavin! Gah! I can't escape my past!
Miss M: Ok, slow down. Listen, Mutagen Man, you are bigger and badder. But kidnapping me isn't going to win my heart. That doesn't work.

Mutagen Man: (slams fist) Well what does?!

Miss M: I don't know. I'm sorry. After 32 years, a death, and subsequent return to Earth in the wrong body, I still don't know how anything works. I just know that you can't keep me here. There are bigger things going on out there in the real world, and I have the chance to return balance to my life.
Mutagen Man: There is no balance. And you aren't going anywhere. Glavin. Not until you love me.

Miss M: This is the worst.

In the After Life...

Angela: Hurry! Is Widowmaker following us?

Miss Elizabeth: I don't see her. I think we have gotten away. We just need to leave the castle. Let's hope we don't come across the Dark Ponies either.

Cosmic Angela: This escape won't be for long though. She'll be upon us soon. If not her, for sure the Dark Ponies. They can see everything.

Ed: (tries to catch breath) Listen ladies, can we slow down some? You've all got long legs and can run pretty fast, but I'm having a hard time catching up.

Tiffany: Shh, do you hear that?

Miss Elizabeth: She's here.

Angela: On guard! Widowmaker is dangerous and ready to strike!
Miss Elizabeth: I can feel it. Darkness is growing. Oh, please Miss M, don't let Maleficent win...

And the souls of light wait...

On a return trip to Earth...

Mutagen Man: I don't understand. How could you not want to get with me? Haven't you seen my hands? Don't women like men with big hands?

Miss M: Some might. I don't know what to tell you Mutagen Man. I really don't. But you have to let me go.

Mutagen Man: Never. I felt you die. The Earth shifted and was never the same. Your light returned though and while this new body is different, I can sense the real you there. Miss M, we'll be together forever.
Miss M: I just can't...

Maleficent: Let my friend go. Disgusting man.

Mutagen Man: This does not concern you!

Maleficent: But it does. Free her. She has something that belongs to me.
Mutagen Man: Stay away from Miss M.
Miss M: Mutagen Man, just set me free. Don't make this harder on yourself!
Maleficent: Listen to the dork girl. (prepares to fight)

Mutagen Man and Maleficent clash!!

Back at the Conference of Evil...

Sour Grapes: Fresh batch of pies are up for the Pie Eating Contest.

Blob: Step right up! No one can handle my appetite!

Raspberry Tart: I know I can.

Blob: Wait, you aren't even a villain. This contest is for villains only!

Raspberry Tart: You must not remember your history very well Blob. I wasn't always a friend of Strawberry Shortcake. And I can wreck a pie eating competition. So prepare to unhinge that jaw if you plan on beating me.

Professor Frost: Oh snap!

Blob: Grr.

Zarana: I was telling her, I'll open my own salon, but only if we can kill gators in the back and serve tasty appetizers for our guests. And you know what she said?

Entrapta: What?

Zarana: She said, 'oh that's white trash Zarana. Stop being so white trash.'

Entrapta: No. She did? The nerve! What did you do?

Zarana: I slit her tires and beat the crap out of her.

Entrapta: And that's why you do good hair. You've got that fire!

April: Irma! Irma!
Irma: What is it April?
April: We've got a serious issue. Something bad is going on. Can't you feel it?

Irma: We're at the Conference of Evil. What were you expecting?
April: No, I can feel it, something is in the air tonight.
Irma: That's a good Phil Collins song.

April: Oh yeah, when do the Misfits go on?

Back to the war of might vs. magic!

Mutagen Man: Be gone devil woman!

Miss M: Stop, you're going to hurt him!
Maleficent: No. This battle is over. (chants a spell before zapping Mutagen Man)

In a shock of defeat, Mutagen Man reverts back to Professor Frink!

Frink: What? No. This can't be! How? My organs were in a jar!

Maleficent: The power of magic my dear fool. Now run along.

Frink: Oh I've lost my glavin! (Frink quickly leaves)

Maleficnt: See what I'm capable of Miss M.

Miss M: He liked being a walking powerhouse freak. You took that from him.

Maleficent: Well now, he can just be a plain old freak. So, where were we darling? Ah yes, my dragon figure.
Miss M: I'm not sure I should give it to you now. Are you really going to help me?
Maleficent: Of course.

Miss M: (hands over the dragon) Ok. Here.
Maleficent: Thank you.

Miss M: So, when do I change?

Maleficent: You don't. Farewell Miss M. You fool.

Miss M: Wait! Stop! Maleficent!

Maleficent: (zaps magic towards Miss M) Stay down! Stupid dork girl.

Maleficent: Stupid dork girl.

Miss M: Oh no. What have I done?

Pinky Pie: Ohhh Miss M. You're in trouble!

Miss M: Where have you been? Ya know, for a Spirit Pony, you don't really do much.

Pinky Pie: I was at a party. You know those take precedence!

Miss M: Do you still have your confetti canon?
Pinky Pie: Of course!

Miss M: Good. There may still be time!


She-Ra: Bow?
Bow: Yes?

She-Ra: We need to talk. I have to tell you something.
Bow: (sighs) Just say it. You slept with him.
She-Ra: What?
Bow: Sea Hawk, your pirate in need. You two slept together, go on.
She-Ra: No. We didn't sleep together. But we did kiss.

Bow: I see.
She-Ra: Bow, please, we need to fix us. I've been so busy lately with finding Sea Hawk and now trying to solve Miss M's murder... We haven't had much time for us.
Bow: I know we haven't. And instead of trying to make time, you kiss the pirate.

She-Ra: It wasn't like that.
Bow: I don't care. I am always second fiddle to you She-Ra. I don't mean to always harp on this, but you just can't keep any notes on how this works. You're always pulling the strings but you never can take the time to feel the beat of my heart...

She-Ra: (feels something strange happening in the air) Bow, there is a disturbance in the force.
Bow: (shakes his head) All right Luke-Ra. What is it this time? Skeletor or Hordak?
She-Ra: (turns in a panic) Skeletor is in space and Hordak is... wherever he is. No, something is wrong. I can feel a crackle in the air. I have to go.

Bow: No you don't. The world is full of strong heroic types. You could stay here and fight for us.
She-Ra: Bow, you know I'm the strongest out of all those other strong heroic types.
Bow: (nods) I know. I get it. I also get that there might be a Conference of Evil going on right now with the worlds baddest, but the only one I can see with a heart of pure evil is standing right in front of me. Go She-Ra.

She-Ra: Bow, please. I'm so sorry.
Bow: I am too. I won't be here when you get back. I'm breaking ground on a bar I'm opening in the fall. I'm done.
She-Ra: Bow. Please.

Bow: Hurry. Before the world falls into despair.

Bow leaves as She-Ra stands there in silence. There's always a choice. And she has always had a hard time with that. Always.

Back to the Conference!

Maleficent: (greets the crowd) The vicious and the vile! Gather round while mama tells a story. We've lost many. The hand of good strikes the best and brightest. But not for long. Behold, the key to our survival! (lifts dragon figure in the air)

Maleficent: For far too long I have sat by, suffering for a curse I did out of spite. I've suffered enough. The baby grew into a sleeping beauty and woke to find true love... 

Maleficent: ...while I sat in the darkness plotting my revenge. Not even a well acted biopic by Disney can stop my fury! It is time for total darkness! And to follow in the tentacled steps of a dear friend, I feel the need to be much bigger than all this. (Maleficent begins a transformation into her true form!)

The crowd of evil cheers in approval at their new queen of darkness.

April: Oh no. We're in trouble.

Irma: Yep. This is definitely what trouble looks like.

Maleficent: And now, with my power fully restored, let the After Life and Earth fade into one!

Maleficent: (chants spell opening a portal as Miss M arrives to watch on in horror) Bring forth my fallen siblings of evil! Let this Conference of Evil go on into the night, a night of forever and total darkness! (laughs maniacally)

In the After Life...

Miss Elizabeth: We're too late.

Widowmaker: You are! I shall do Maleficent's bidding!

A portal soon opens...

Widowmaker: (in shock) She did it! The portal to Earth is open!

Widowmaker: The plan is unfolding! (flies into the air to send out a loud wail for all to hear and descend upon Earth)

Angela: Hurry, after them! We have to stop this!

Miss Elizabeth: Be careful. There is no telling what we will be like in the real world.
Ed: Holy crap, I get to go back to Earth?

Cosmic Angela: That's the idea short stuff.

Ed: M. I've got to find Miss M.

One final return to the Conference!

 Maleficent: Come to me, my fallen!

Pinky Pie: Hurry M! It's happening! Maleficent's plan is nearly complete!

Miss M: Oh my goodness, she's a giant!

Pinky Pie: Yeah, she is twenty stories tall.
Miss M: Towering above it all.
Pinky Pie: This makes me want to listen to the Misfits. Have we missed their concert?
Miss M: Not now Pinky Pie! Aim the Confetti Canon! Light it!

Pinky Pie: Sure thing!

Miss M: Maleficent!!! This ends now!

Maleficent: What is this?!
Pinky Pie: Here we go!

A blast of glittery confetti fires out into the air, striking Maleficent.

Maleficent: (full of laughter as she dusts the glitter confetti off) Stupid fools! Did you really think some glitter and confetti would stop me? Nothing can. Stand aside, and prepare for Total Darkness!!!

Miss M: Gulp.

With the last shred of hope gone in a burst of glittery confetti light, the heroes of Earth watch the world around them fall into Total Darkness!!!

July 2014 Woman of Wonderosity:
The Conference of Evil- Part 2!

And now the fun begins! Calling all fellow bloggers! As the world of All My Toys enters into the world of Total Darkness, you can contribute to the story. Gather up your favorite toys, take some pictures, and write your own one shot piece that takes place in this same universe. It can occur on Earth, the After Life, wherever! Let your imagination soar! All you have to do is title your story- Total Darkness: (whatever title you choose) and just make some sort of mention in the post about what this event is with a link to the Diary so that everyone can keep up with each story. Once you have something posted to your blog, let me know by either leaving a comment or emailing me at missmermista@gmail.com so that I can post the link here and share the stories with everyone too. This event will be going on until August 29th, so you have plenty of time to contribute! Also, feel free to email me with any questions!

So, I can't believe it has been three years that I have been writing in this special Diary. I hope that you have all enjoyed reading up to this point. I can't thank you all enough for your support and comments. This little place on the Internet has become such a big part of my life. I truly thank you all for continuing to stop by and to read. Every post I put out is something I wish to share with you all in the hopes that it will make you laugh, cry, or just have a great time. You all mean the world to me and I hope you guys and dolls are all doing fantastic! See you soon!


  1. Wow! The new Maleficent figure was quite a surprise! I'm sure it was a great addition to your collection!

    I've got some ideas for the crossover that I just need iron out and will send your way in the next week or so. Looking forward to what will come of this!

    1. I look forward to your crossover ideas Erik! And that Maleficent is a work of beauty! I love the sculpting and everything. I hope you are doing well. I have been busy with work so I have totally gotten behind on all my comments. Talk to you soon!

  2. Michael.....I just love this! Keep it coming.

    1. Thank you Brian! You are always so supportive and that means a lot. Hope all is well!

  3. happy 3rd anniversary miss m. and love that new Malicifient figure. can't wait to find out how toy miss m and crew deal with the world in total darkness.

    1. Thank you demoncat! You have been reading and commenting for so long, I am so happy that you have been joining me in all this. I appreciate everything you have said. Your encouragement means the world to me. The Total Darkness bit will hopefully bring some fun to the month of August. Talk to you later!

  4. Wow, I really want to contribute, but I don't have an Ed figure!! Although I do have several stuffed pandas. Including one from Build-A-Bear that's wearing a sailor suit!!
    Can I draw my contribution in comic form? That's more my style.
    Also, how did you do that cool blue lightning effect on the pics? That was awesome!
    Happy three year anniversary M! You know I luv ya! I loved that you ended it all, with a "gulp"- did you ever master how to do one of those in real life? Cuz you could get a cool career in cartoon voice acting!

    1. Crap! How in the world did I not respond to your comment? I feel like the most terrible of human beings. I thought I had. It must have been a glitch with my computer and I never really paid much attention. Because I know I totally had something written to you. You can certainly draw your contribution in comic form. The blue lightning effect was from an app on my phone. It is called SpaceEffectFX or something like that. And I totally had to end it with a gulp! lol How could I not? I hope you are doing well. I am also terribly sorry that I am just now replying to this comment. I feel awful.

    2. Well don't feel bad! I know you are busy so I most certainly don't expect a reply to every comment I leave! But this one I had to follow up on because of the question I asked. Like I said though, I may not get my Miss M comic drawn by the 29th so I may have to send it to you as a separate piece of fan art instead of a part the Total Darkness thing. One way or the other you will look awesome in it-be a superhero, and have a panda sidekick. And your boobs will be awesome I don't mean nude boobies, but I still do that disproportionate boob thing on girl characters. I know it's politically incorrect, but I can't help myself! It's just such a classic comic book trope!
      But any political incorrectness will be made up for by one simple thing. Your adorable PANDA SIDEKICK! But I think I'm gonna make you extra Texas-like. Even though you don't seem remotely like you are from Texas whenever I hear you speak you don't have even the slightest accent, I think it would be funny if your character was a cowgirl type. A texas cowgirl with a panda sidekick! Now there's an original character!!