Women of Wonder! December 2024 Part 1: Elphaba

Dear Diary,

I'm going to the chapel and I'm gonna get married! It's finally here, the day I marry Bruce Wayne! 

-Miss M

Miss M: Once upon a time there was a woman named Elphaba, with skin the greenest of green. So green it could have you believe the color had not existed until her arrival into the universe. She was labeled a witch. A real wicked one. Of course that's what people are called when they decide to expose oppression and other destructive forces. Burn the witch. Kill all witches. It's always interesting what happens when people in power create various boogeymen. 

 

Miss M: Her story is not the first nor the last. And sometimes, when you add live singing, you can get people to pay attention a little more. To think about what's beneath the surface. For others and their lived experiences, they know all too well what lurks underneath.

Miss M: I was able to sit with Elphaba for an interview. To learn more about her hopes and dreams. Plans. Wicked delicious little plans hoping to defy the biggest of obstacles: to understand how best to expose the wizards of the world. And before anyone says it, I do realize that not all wizards mean harm, but there are some, those maniacal beings with such might and razzle dazzle that they can trick people into thinking they are indeed fearsome titans and able to save everyone from themselves.

Miss M: Usually the call is calling from inside the house I'm afraid. 

Elphaba: Sometimes you can show people the truth, but is it ever the truth? Or do they just want to remain prisoners to their own realities, forever basking in a blindness that keeps them from really seeing the world around them?

Wayne Manor. Now.

Miss M: Dad. I'm so glad you are here. Can you believe it? I'm getting married today.

Big Boy Caprice: I'm so proud of you baby. You are glowing, and I am happy to be here. I saw Bruce earlier. Stoic as he is, I could see the glint of happiness in his eyes.

Miss M: Yes. He is very happy.

Big Boy Caprice: He better be. He's marrying my daughter, you deserve nothing but the best. 

Miss M: I know dad. He knows. We all know. It's been a long time coming, but this wait has been worth it.

Big Boy Caprice: Have you heard from your mother?

Miss M: No. Ever since she tried to kill my dog and then tried to kill me, no. Cruella is no where to be found, and hopefully she stays that way.

Big Boy Caprice: Oh now wait a second, I hear some little footsteps. Could it be my granddaughter?

Yvie: Hi Pawpaw. Do you like my dress?

Big Boy Caprice: Yes. You look like a little princess.

Yvie: A warrior princess. Mommy has been showing me the She-Ra cartoon, and I can be a princess but of power. 

Big Boy Caprice: Well would you look at that?

Yvie: Yeah. And if Hordak shows up, I'll kick him in the butt big time! Before he even gets the chance to drop anyone down a trap door!

Big Boy Caprice: She's got the imagination of her mother huh?

Miss M: Well, someone has to teach her about quality story telling. 

Miss M: Our conversation continued as we found our way into the Catacombs, dancing to dark synth and '60s girl group bubble pop. I learned more of her childhood. The way she was treated because of her skin. We also delved into her powers, and what it is like to embrace your own difference. We even addressed her journey towards stopping the Wizard, what it would mean for her to see him pay for his crimes. To expose his fallacies to the world. I had an idea, a way to make her dreams come true. I'd lead him to us. 

Elphaba: You'd do that? You know of the Wizard?

Miss M: Sure. Don't worry, I've got this. 

Miss M: And I did. As if on cue, the wizard did show up. Small but ferocious, this wizard was prepared for battle.

Elphaba: Ah! Who the Hades is this?

Wayne Manor. Again. Present. 

Alf: So, you're certain you only have the pet dog right? No cats? I find that hard to believe in a joint this big. 

Bruce: Alf, for the last time, no. We don't have any pet cats.

Winston: You might be getting things confused, he once dated Selina Kyle. Who was also Catwoman.

Alf: You dated a cat woman? And people think I'm weird. Get a load a this guy.

Bruce: Who are you talking to? What?

Winston: So, how is he connected to you and M?

Bruce: I honestly don't know. I'm not even sure he was invited.

Winston: And you just let him sneak in?

Bruce: Actually, I think he may have been Irma's plus one.

Winston: Oh. Wait, is he not wearing pants?

Alf: So uhh. No. I'm not.

Miss M: So full disclosure, I hadn't really gotten enough details on the exact wizard Elphie was on a quest for. What began as some awkward "Who do you think you are?" "No, who do you think you are?!" The two quickly did a delicate dance of who has the better magical powers.

Miss M: Elphaba didn't miss a beat. She showed Kamek that she is very much that girl. 

Miss M: I tried to keep up. But their zigging and zagging all below and above the Catacombs was enough to rival any high quality Broadway production. 

Elphaba: I shall defy gravity and finally put you down like the weasel you are!

Kamek: You don't know me. What I've been through. How misunderstood I am, I've always been destined for more. But I'm old now. Dusty and relegated to the shadows.

Miss M: And as he began his song, a ballad of such supreme sadness, it touched something in Elphaba. She began to see a bit of herself in Kamek. Joining him in song, the two formed an unlikely friendship set to a thunderous score.

Wayne Manor. Operation Wedding Day continues...

Miss M: I'm so glad you are all here today. It means so much.

Janine: Of course. Like we would miss this! 

Glo: And Yvie looks so cute! She's just beaming.

Sarah: It'll be such a beautiful day.

Janine: I saw some guests already arriving, any word on April? Is she coming?

Sarah: When I went by the community center to go over some fundraising for the new year, I also thought I'd swing by April's office down the street to see her, but she was very standoffish about everything. 

Miss M: I don't think April will be coming y'all. I messed up our friendship and there doesn't seem to be any coming back.

Glo: M, that's not really right. She understood the situation you were in when you found out her dad was alive. She even made peace with it, you two were fine for years.

Sarah: It's just a shame that she is in this space. I hope she'll change her mind. 

Janine: I dunno, April is pretty stubborn. You all remember that one restaurant she kept talking about on the news. For years she'd call them out for their slime in the ice machine, and she just wouldn't let up on them. Even after they made changes. She can be brutal.

Miss M: And that's why she is where she is. She didn't make it to the top being a Shy Violet. No offense to the Color Kids from Rainbow Land.

Janine: Oh honey. It'll be ok.

Glo: It just shouldn't be this way. I'm sorry. This is a special day. She should be here.

Miss M: No. It's ok. I hate she won't be here, but I respect her decisions. I should have told her the minute I could that her dad was still alive. Regardless of the circumstances. But, I can focus on that more another time. I am not going to feel bad or get in my feelings about the past. Because today I'm marrying the love of my life.

Janine: And we are so happy for you.

Glo: I just think about everything Bruce and you went through. This has been a long time coming.

Miss M: I know. If you had told me all those years ago after he saved me, that this is where we would be, and that we'd all be together celebrating. This is just everything to me. (tears begin to form)

Glo: Ok, too many tears! You need to get ready! Come on, one last toast with Dr. Pepper and then we'll step out. 

Miss M: They were curious of one another. She was used to friends bowing to the pressures of politeness, but before her was a withered aged wizard of immense experience and unique power. It wasn't all conversations around destroying systems of power though, they also embraced other topics as well. Usually through song.

 

Miss M: Elphie was able to see quite a caring patient side of Kamek, since Kamek had a history of raising quite unruly characters. She also was quite curious of Kamek's glasses. What might be behind the specs? Theirs would be a journey unlike no other. Together with her army of flying monkeys and Kamek's horde of Magikoopa, they were destined to cause quite a ruckus. Wizards of the world beware.

And now, back to Wayne Manor!

Sarah: Ok, got everything you need?

Miss M: Yes. The dress looks stunning, I just need to spruce my hair up a bit, try to not mess my makeup up anymore, and I think I'll be ready. 

Sarah: Good. So many people are showing up. Mila and Sydney are here, and you won't believe which one has Garrett on their arm!

Miss M: Oh lord. I told them no drama today. Oh, and Sarah, I don't think I told you yet, but I love what you are wearing. It's giving My First Barbie from the '80s and that just makes me happy.

Sarah: I would not normally wear something this... poofy... but I'm doing it for you. I love you my dear friend!

Miss M: Love you too!

Sarah: I'll see you out there.

Miss M: Of course!

Miss M: Ok. You've got this. It's just a wedding. I've been living with this man for awhile now. We've saved the world countless times. Not even Vicki Vale could come between us. We have the most precious daughter. My dreams are coming true. Nothing will ruin this day.

Meanwhile, across town at the Diary of a Dorkette office...

April: Ok, tea should be cool. Now where did I put my laptop? Where I won't be looking at coverage of that trollop's wedding...

Ted: Excuse me, didn't mean to startle. Is this the Diary of a Dorkette headquarters?

April: Oh. It's you. I really need to increase security.

Ted: Aww, you remember me.

April: How could I forget. You made a scene at my favorite restaurant. Waving money around like a fool. Please tell me you did not park your private plane outside? I really don't want the rent to go up.

Ted: No plane this time. Just my limo.

April: Tacky. Why are you here?

Ted: Well, that night at the restaurant when my presence offended you so, I kept thinking to myself, I know her.

Ted: And then I remembered where. I used to watch you cover the news. Always in a yellow jump suit. So I did some more digging, and I learned that you were the owner and editor of this blog. And then I was thinking...

April: I will stop you right there. We aren't interested in doing a feature on millionaires who wear cheap polyester suits. Maybe try when the new writing regime takes over, but not under my watch.

Ted: Nah. I read over your blog, not really my thing. But I wanted to bring something to your attention. One of your writers, she calls herself a dorkette. Someone wants her dead.

April: What?

Ted: Yeah. I was approached awhile back from some aggressive gal in glasses, real dark hair, she was trying to get me to help fund her attempt at murder for hire. I declined, and didn't really think anything of it until I started putting the pieces together. Thought you might wanna know if your employee might be in danger.

April: M...

Ted: Yeah, ol' gal didn't really say when she'd be doing this, but I assumed it'd be soon. She seemed real desperate. Bit deranged too. I'm a lot a things, but I wouldn't wanna help in murdering someone.

April: Did you go to the police? Do you even know this woman's name?

Ted: No to both. That's why I am here. I figured you'd know what to do. Hot shot reporter and all.

April: You fool. I need you to call the police. Tell them to get to Wayne Manor. If someone wants Miss M murdered, today will be the day to do it.

Ted: Umm. Ok. And what are you going to do?

 

April: As much as I don't want to do this, I'm going to have you take me to Wayne Manor in that obnoxious limo of yours. Hurry. If I'm wrong I'll just be momentarily crashing a wedding, but if I'm right... I hope I'm not right...

Miss M: Sometimes, no matter how you think a story will go, or how you hope it will end, it still reaches a conclusion. There may be a part 2, but still a conclusion must happen of sorts. But there's one thing for sure, endings are not always what they seem. Which is how I felt after my time with Elphaba. I hope she achieves all she desires and more. But dear reader, that is it for this month's Women of Wonder feature! Now, I have to go. I'm getting married in a week and my wrap up for the year is going to end in a blast! Until next time!

To be continued in Women of Wonder! December 2024 Part 2!!!