All My Toys: 299

 It's a girl fight tonight on a brand new All My Toys!

Miss M's apartment, lunch time.

Miss M: This is such a nice surprise dad. Thanks for bringing pizza.

Big Boy Caprice: I keep hearing about this place, thought I'd try it. Reminds me of the old days, when your mom would drop you off at my office and I'd order us pizza, and there you'd be sitting at my desk pretending like you were running a business.

Miss M: I remember that. I loved the little plastic table they'd put in the pizza's center. 

Big Boy Caprice: Oh yes. You'd always try to take it home as furniture for your doll house. 

Miss M: I can't believe you remember.

Big Boy Caprice: Of course I do.

Miss M: I'm glad we are able to do this. I want to ask you something. I haven't told you much about this, but I have been seeing someone. It's been getting pretty serious, and I would like you to meet him.

Big Boy Caprice: Something serious huh? He's not a billionaire is he?

Miss M: (rolls eyes) No dad. 

Big Boy Caprice: Good, because I will be honest, I was not a fan of Bruce Wayne.

Miss M: Oh dad. Bruce is a good man. He's also the father of your granddaughter. 

Big Boy Caprice: Yeah, yeah.

Big Boy Caprice: Well tell me about him, this something serious, what is his name? What does he do?

Miss M: His name is Dick. He works in public service.

Big Boy Caprice: I like this. Sounds upstanding. Helping others. This sounds good. So, are we having a conoscenza?

Miss M: No dad, there will not be a meeting of the families. It will just be us three. Are you free in the coming days for dinner? Here? I was thinking of cooking Gigi's lasagna.

Big Boy Caprice: (claps hands together loudly) Now we're talkin', I'll be there regardless. So, serious eh?

Miss M: Yeah. It sort of happened. We had dated once before back in college, but he's been there for me after the fall out from the past year and a half.

Big Boy Caprice: You deserve the world, he better be good to you. I know some people.

Miss M: (shakes head with a laugh) Oh dad.

Big Boy Caprice: (to himself) I really do though.

Miss M: Did you say something?

Big Boy Caprice: No, just a tickle in my throat. 

Miss M: How is Glo doing at the club?

Big Boy Caprice: Fantastic. Just fantastic. That girl can sing can't she?

Miss M: She's truly the best. 

Big Boy Caprice: Now, what's this you told me earlier about some award you are trying out for?

Miss M: Well, it's too soon to tell, but, if all goes according to plan, you will be looking at a nominee and hopeful winner of a 2026 Bloglin! The final year!

Big Boy Caprice: I have no idea what any of that means, but I'm proud of ya. 

Later on, after lunch, at Club Ritz...

Lana: No, no, no. That just won't do.

Glo: What if I stand here?

Lana: No, it's the lighting darlin. It's casting a streak across your face. Face it, you look like shi-

Influence: I think you look beguiling.

Glo: (ignores the compliment) Why is the lighting this bright? Does it need to be this bright?

Lana: Yes.

Glo: It just seems really bright. This is a night club, the lights shouldn't be this bright.

Influence: Perhaps it is brighter due to rehearsals? Right Lana?

Lana: Must you all be fools?

Lana: It's quite simple. Some of us are made for the stage. The other lights will be dimmed when we open, but the stage light needs a certain brightness, you do want to be the star of the show don't you darlin?

Glo: Of course, but this just seems different than normal.

Lana: Are you trying to insinuate something? 

Influence: Could someone have messed with the light?

Lana: (groans) Why are you even here? Shouldn't you be downstairs? I have the background for this. And so does Flo.

Glo: You know my name, why can't you use it?

Lana: Because darlin, I'm here to see what you're worth. Call it the business of show. 

Big Boy's penthouse, above Club Ritz...

Mayor Grody: We could have met at the Palm. 

Big Boy Caprice: I ate already. And this shouldn't take long. 

Mayor Grody: (snaps) Well, whaddya want? I still have time to get a table at the Palm because I am hungry.

Big Boy Caprice: Now that is no way to talk to someone who has been storing your toxic waste and keeping your dirty secrets nice and clean. I guess I could just find another place to hide your waste, maybe all over the park downtown? Create some health issues for the citizens of this city that you swore to protect?

Mayor Grody: Now come on Big Boy, we don't need to do all-a that. We need your help with the toxic waste. Has something happened to the barrels?

Big Boy Caprice: No. I keep doing as you ask, supporting you. But we made a deal Grody. I store these barrels, find creative ways to dispose while they get refilled, and I've been honoring that. You've yet to honor my end of this deal.

Mayor Grody: Oh yeah. Your deal. I've been bringing in politicians here haven't I?

Big Boy Caprice: Politicians was not the deal Grody! I want the politician. The only one that matters: Luthor. I need you to bring President Luthor here. 

Mayor Grody: Big Boy, Luthor is a tough man to pin down. He's busy. He's going after illegal aliens from outer space and super heroes that play sports. He hasn't shown any interest in coming here, how do I get the most powerful man in the world to your club hmm?

Big Boy Caprice: Find a way. I've helped line your pockets, making you a wealthy man.

Mayor Grody: And I've done good for you. I've got insiders at the precinct. I'm even trying to get that nosey detective to shut that murder case you told me about. I'm doing my part Big Boy. Besides, what's so important about Luthor any way? He's just a rich man with a God complex, quite stale if you ask me.

Big Boy Caprice: You don't need to be bothered about the details of why I need Luthor here. You just make sure you find a way or I'll find a way to ruin your career as Mayor.

Mayor Grody: Oh no Big Boy. Threatening me is a threat to the people I work for. You think I care about toxic waste? I'm in bed with people far scarier than you, people who will kill 'em off. 

Big Boy Caprice: Kill who?

Mayor Grody: Kill 'em off. All of us.

Big Boy Caprice: Marone! You make no sense. That toxic waste has rotted your brain.

Back at Club Ritz...

Glo: See, the lighting just needed to be adjusted. I can always do your job for you if you need me to Lana.

Lana: That won't be necessary. Rehearsal went well. Your voice is good. 

Influence: Is that a talent that runs in your family?

Glo: (lies) I don't really have a family.

The trio pause as they hear a commotion below.

Krystle: Lana!

Jason: You need to calm down Krystle.

Krystle: (snarls) Don't you dare tell me what to do. Lana! Where is Big Boy? I need to speak to him at once!

Lana: Oh this messy wench. 

Glo: This must be the other singer.

Lana: Yeah, and she's probably looking for her dead beat boyfriend.

Lana: Get up here Krystle, we open soon and you can't be making a scene.

Krystle: Where's Big Boy?

Jason: I told you, he's in a meeting.

Krystle: I don't care what you say, where is Big Boy? Someone needs to get him.

Lana: Why do you want to know where he is? Did he tell you to come back to work? Are you ready to come back?

Glo: Maybe we should sit down?

Lana: Don't talk to her. Let me handle this.

Lana: Are you high Krystle? Taking more Plastic? You seem, scattered.

Krystle: No. I was only using that night Cletus and I fought. That's why we fought, he didn't want me getting hooked to Plastic. But he's missing. I tried to looking for him at the safe house he was in, but he's not there. (speaks louder) I need to talk to Big Boy!

Lana: Would you be quiet! Quit raising your voice! He's in a meeting with the Mayor.

Krystle: I don't care! I want Cletus! Where is he? I need to know that he is ok! Don't you understand? 

Lana: I understand you have lousy taste in men. I understand you were handed an opportunity to work here, something other girls would kill to have, and you keep squandering it. It's honestly pathetic.

Krystle: I don't care about your stupid stage. I need to know that Cletus is ok! Why isn't anyone taking this seriously?! 

Lana: Krystle, if you're not here to work, you need to leave.

Krystle: Screw your stage!

Lana: (soap smacks Krystle!) Calm down! Now! 

Krystle: You just hit me?!

Lana: And I'll do it again darlin.

Influence: Umm, here Glo, it might not be safe for you to be on the stage right now.

Glo: Thank you. Do they normally go at it like this?

Influence: Lana goes at it with everyone. Your hands are so soft. 

Glo: (creeped out) Umm, ok. 

Influence: I hope that was not too forward. 

Glo: (slowly frees hand from Influence's grasp) I appreciate the help.

Glo: (suddenly senses an opportunity) And no, not forward at all. 

Breathless: (observing silently) Glo, what are you doing?

Krystle: You'll do it again huh? Well go on, try and slap me again. 

Krystle: (lunges) You won't get the chance!

Screams erupt as Lana and Krystle fight.

Jason: (grabs hold of Krystle) No, no, you can't do that!

Krystle: Let me go! She hit me!

Lana: You need to be put down like the little bitch you are! You are crazy!

Big Boy Caprice: What the hell is this?!

Big Boy Caprice: WELL? Anyone want to tell me what is going on here?!

Krystle: Big Boy!

Jason: Are you ok?

Lana: Yes, I should be fine. I need some champagne.

Krystle: Big Boy! I need to talk to you. (fights back tears) I can't find Cletus. I'm better, I'm feeling better, and I heard you had him in a safe house, but he isn't there. He's no where to be found. Is he ok?

Big Boy Caprice: Krystle, now you know Cletus is not the most reliable man. He's probably in a corner taking Plastic somewhere. 

Krystle: But Big Boy, you had him in one of your safe houses, he was going to get clean. I know he wouldn't have run off again. Please, please tell me you didn't do something to him?

Big Boy Caprice: Now Krystle, what would give you that idea? Cletus was on my payroll, he helped with my errands. His well being is important to me.

Krystle: Really? You mean that Big Boy? I just love him so much. I know he's not perfect, but I love him. Please tell me you didn't hurt him. (fights back tears, that soon begin to shed)

Big Boy Caprice: Hey come here. It's ok. I promise you, Cletus is ok. He was in a safe house, but he may have slipped out again. I'll have Pruneface look into it, I'm sure Cletus will show up.

Kystle: Promise me? Please Big Boy, promise me that you'll try to find him. 

Krystle: (cries) I just don't know what I'd do if something happened to him. 

Big Boy Caprice: There, there. Krystle, you need to get yourself together. All this stress and worryin, it's not good for your voice. The stage has missed you.

Big Boy Caprice: I'll see to it that we find him, ok? Cletus could be right under our noses. 

Krystle: (cries softly) Thank you Big Boy.

Big Boy Caprice: I look out for my girls. We'll find him. I promise.

Glo looks up with a chill down her spine and thinks to herself, I'm sure no one will be finding Cletus.

Jason: Sure you are ok?

Lana: Jesus, I already told you, I'm fine. This isn't my first rodeo getting into a fight with trash.

Breathless: Looked pretty scary up there for a second. 

Breathless: Anything I can do to help you Lana? We can sit for a moment and just breathe?

Lana: (rolls eyes) Just go fetch my hat darlin.

Back at Miss M's place...

Dick Tracy: So you've been getting some writing done and had a nice lunch with your dad? Sounds like a good day.

Miss M: It really has been. Umm, I do need to ask you something though.

Dick Tracy: Ok, you look a little worried.

Miss M: Maybe a little, I don't want to feel like we're rushing things, but would you like to meet my dad for dinner in a few days? Here. I plan to make lasagna. 

Dick Tracy: Oh wow, meeting the parents. 

Miss M: Well, just my dad. 

Dick Tracy: Still, I don't know, that's a pretty big step.

Miss M: I mean, it doesn't have to be. It's just dinner, but since we have been a little more serious...

Dick Tracy: Hey, I'm just being silly. I'd love to meet your dad for dinner. And to try your lasagna. I thought you didn't cook?

Miss M: I don't, but if this goes well I won't turn my kitchen into more closet space, so there's that. 

Dick Tracy: That sounds good.

Miss M: Ok, well that is settled, but how are you? Work sounds like it has been a lot lately.

Dick Tracy: Yeah, a little. Been trying to solve this murder case, you know, the one that's taking awhile. I've still got the mayor breathing down my neck, if we can't get a charge soon, the case will be closed. I'm trying to find this one lead, it's just been a pain. 

Miss M: I can't even imagine. Especially the mayor breathing down my neck, I shudder to even think what that must be like.

Dick Tracy: (laughs) Yeah, he certainly lives up to his name.

Miss M: And this lead, the Baroness? I remember you mentioning something about her at the diner the other day.

Dick Tracy: Yeah, she is connected to the man that was murdered, but not sure how. Since there was an alleged plot from her to murder you, do you have any ideas or information that could lead me to her? 

Miss M: Wait, are you thinking I have something to do with this murder?

Dick Tracy: What? No. When you told me that April had heard about the Baroness' attempt on your life at your wedding to Bruce Wayne, I just assumed maybe you knew of her.

Miss M: I only know mostly what's in the society pages. A number of years ago our paths crossed when I was more of a hero, but that was a different time. I couldn't tell you the last time I have seen her, which is why nothing came out of that rumor, it made no sense why she'd want me dead.

Dick Tracy: I see. And that's right, I forget you had a wild life once being a super hero and everything. Did you ever work with Batman?

Miss M: I mean, anyone doing anything heroic in this town eventually works with Batman. 

Dick Tracy: Yeah, it's interesting, for a moment Batman was trying to help me with this case.

Miss M: (gulps) Really? Why?

Dick Tracy: Well, I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but the man murdered was a world renowned assassin and Batman seemed invested in the case. I think they knew each other or had crossed paths.

Miss M: Oh Deathstroke. I saw that in the news. Yeah, I'm sure they fought in the past. That's crazy that Batman has been working with you. (suddenly things become clearer for M with Bruce's awareness of her relationship with the detective)

Dick Tracy: Yeah, it has been. But, like I said, he hasn't been around much lately. I assume he has his hands full with other stuff.

Miss M: I'm sure. (Like taking care of a new son, M thinks to herself)

Dick Tracy: Yeah, so. That's really it. Just trying to find the Baroness. 

Miss M: She's a slippery minx.

Dick Tracy: You're telling me. Anyway, enough work talk, what should we do tonight?

Miss M: Hmm, there's this marathon of All My Children episodes on Pluto TV? It's technically the Pluto TV channel in Canada, but I promise it's above board for how we'd be watching it in the states...

... Calling Dick Tracy! Fruit Fly is buzz sawing through a safe at the museum!

 

Dick Tracy: (responds) I'm on my way. Darn Fruit Fly, he's at it again. I'm sorry.

Miss M: It's ok, I know the drill.

Dick Tracy: I'll try to hurry back. Start All My Children without me.

Miss M: Ok!

Miss M: I'll also save you some snacks.

Dick Tracy: Doll, you are the snack. I'll be back soon.

And he's off. Meanwhile, at Trish Manlis' manse...

Trish Manlis: (looking over movies to watch in her movie room) What should I watch tonight? Maybe something with Al Pacino? Oh who am I kidding. I can't relax with a movie. 

 

Trish Manlis: Tramp! Tramp! Get in here.

Tramp: Yes madame? 

Trish Manlis: I can't relax after what Big Boy tried to pull. I can't believe he was going to plant evidence at my home to frame me. I've reached a level of impatience with that man, and it has to stop. 

Tramp: What would you like me to do?

Trish Manlis: Locate the Baroness. I wish to have a meeting with her. You see, Big Boy thinks I'm just some trash bucket who wormed her way into this life. Only I catapulted myself into the stratusphere thanks to the love of my departed Lips. Lips taught me a lot. I know what Big Boy does, all his secrets. This murder in the news a few months back, the one found on my rental property? I know the scoop. And I've kept my mouth shut, but no more. He wants to plant a crime on me? Ha. He will regret ever crossing me.

  

Tramp: Yes madame. I'll ring for the Baroness now. 

Trish Manlis: Wonderful. And Tramp? Please, for the love of fashion, let me get you some new shoes. And a coat. We'll go to Ferragamo or Gucci.

Tramp: Sure thing madame.

Back at Miss M's apartment, your favorite dorkette is carefully navigating a surprise visit...

Miss M: Vash, I don't know what else to say. It's late, this could have been an email.

Vash: M, this is serious. You need to secure an interview with Dino Drac. There are already three big names in the blogging community that are this-close to securing interviews.

Miss M: Well maybe you could tell me how they are doing that, because I have been doing everything to try and contact the man. Nothing seems to work. I am beginning to think that Dino Drac is not even real.

Vash: Of course he is real M. Who else do you think has rounded up every vintage Telco Halloween item in the world?

Vash: I just need you to focus. I'm trying to help you, and I really want you to succeed. You can't give up.

Miss M: I just don't understand, it feels like you want this more than I do.

Vash: M. Tell me something. Have you ever made a mistake, especially when it has hurt someone, and just lived with regret? 

Miss M: Of course. It doesn't feel good. 

Vash: Exactly. And sometimes apologies aren't enough.

Miss M: I mean, returning the Spectra collection would be more than enough. 

Vash: Oh you sweet dear. You know I can't return that Spectra collection to you. But I can do this. I can help you write an award winning blog post that gets you closer than ever to winning a Bloglin and cementing your role as a voice worth reading in the blogging community. M, after all these years, don't you want to lean into a little bit of fortune and glory? I'd imagine if you get nominated you'd get to wear a fabulous gown to the awards ceremony! This is my way of apologizing, and fixing my misdeeds to you. I want to lift you up!

Miss M: I know, and I appreciate that. I won't lie, wearing a gown to an awards ceremony sounds fabulous. And I suppose it would be nice to win something, at least once in my life.

Vash: That's the spirit! Ok, if Dino Drac is proving too elusive, try the Purple Stuff podcast. Listen to every episode. Comment and keep commenting, maybe he will notice and that can be your in for an interview.

Vash: I also have a lovely computer I'll drop by tomorrow for you. It will help, it's got a unique way of processing things that leans into ancient technologic methods to hopefully reach Dino Drac.

Miss M: But why wouldn't newer modern technology be the better fit?

Vash: Because Miss M. To find your key to an interview with the nostalgia connoisseur, you will need something truly nostalgic to aid in your quest. Trust me. You do trust me don't you?

Miss M: I suppose.

Vash: (shakes head) Hmm, nope. Not good enough. Do you trust me? I know I messed up our friendship, but I am here now to truly make things right. Now, do you trust me?

Miss M: (pauses, before leaning into hope) Yes. I trust you Vash.

Vash: I love to hear it. Now, let's go get you that Bloglin!

Up next! It's the 300th episode of All My Toys!

Like the previous posts on this blog, it is with great sadness that the blogging community lost William Bruce West. My heart goes out to his family, including his wife Lindsay and two daughters. Will contributed so much to the toy/comics/pop culture blogging and podcast community. His opinions on pop culture are the stuff of legend. Please check out the West Family GoFundMe and consider donating, they need our support more than ever. If you can't donate, please spread the word. West Family GoFundMe