Friday, October 16, 2015

October 2015 Woman of Wonderosity!

Dear Diary,

Oh my goodness! Halloween is getting closer and closer. April's Annual Halloween party is getting into high gear. However this year she enlisted the help of some guy named Chris Gaida who is some self professed Halloween party planner. I think that is just a waste of resources. April throws a great party every year, why does she need the help from some guy who lives in Canada? What's so special about him anyway? I just don't understand. Anyways, in an effort to butt in, I have joined in on the party planning. Because, why not?

-Miss M

At the offices of Diary of a Dorkette,

Miss M: There's just something about him that doesn't seem right.

April: What are you talking about, the man is a genius.

Miss M: April, he isn't wearing any pants.

They look over as Chris gathers information on a computer.

April: Why are you so judgy? He performs in a Barbie and the Rockers tribute band. He also wrestles professionally on a whim as the wind calls. You of all people should think he is cool.

Miss M: (sighs and rolls her eyes) I guess. I just don't understand why we need extra help from a stranger. You've always done a great job on your own.

April: Maybe I don't want to do the party on my own this year. It is difficult throwing a fabulous party every year. Especially when the last few Halloween parties have ended disastrously. Last year there was a car explosion in the parking lot. The year before Janine Melnitz was beaten into a coma.

Miss M: But that same year saw you and Casey Jones renew your vows! Your Halloween parties are the best! They'll be tainted if you bring some stranger into the mix!

Chris G: Are you two ready to check out venues?

Miss M: (quickly silences herself) Totally!

April: Yep, let's go.

Miss M: (whispers to April) We'll finish this later!

Chris G: After you dorkette.

Miss M: (points a finger) I'm on to you!

Chris G: Uh ok.

Meanwhile, in space!

Lady Kale: The view is lovely up here, isn't it?
Glimmer: Screw the view! What do you want with us?!

Lady Kale: Aren't you a feisty princess? Those are the best kind. So which one of you wants to tell me where Miss M is at?

Velvet Sky: I have already told you, before I say anything, what's in it for me?

Glimmer: Velvet Sky! You trollop! Shut your mouth!

Lady Kale: Everyone always wants something. Whatever happened to the days when people did the right thing and just gave up important information? You two might know her as Miss M but in other circles of the universe she is referred to as Starwhip: the murderer of the future. She committed crimes against the universe and she must be brought to justice. There shouldn't be a reward for doing what is right.

Glimmer: My friend is innocent.

Lady Kale: Of course she is. Until that dork girl finds out just how powerful she is and takes over the universe for herself. No one knows how they'll react once faced with an unlimited supply of power since returning from the dead. She will murder the future.

Velvet Sky: I'd believe it. Miss M is nothing but a barf stain on humanity!

Lady Kale: I'll tell you both what, I have the power to solve your biggest problems. (faces Velvet Sky) I can grant you the love and adoration of so many people, it's the fame you've always craved.

Velvet Sky: How did you know?

Lady Kale: I know all. Or most. As for my feisty princess, well, I can erase the virus they call TOYS that has taken up residence in your play set.

Glimmer: You don't have that power, it isn't possible.

Lady Kale: Anything is possible. You aren't aware of this Glimmer, but you once had a very close friend. She was a warrior woman. She couldn't give me what I wanted, which was information on Starwhip. So I erased her from the universe. I will do this to the both of you if I must. Now, who is going to tell me where I can find the dork girl you call Miss M?

Glimmer and Velvet Sky can only look at each other. One will have to give up an answer.

Back on Earth.

April: I can't take much more visits to these venues. I think this will be my last one.
Miss M: It will be the best one!

Chris G: I'm not sure this place will be the best one. The McDonald's we went to earlier with the metal slide in the Playspace would still be a fun venue. We could heat the metal and make people feel like they were sliding into hell.

April: I feel like this is hell. All you two have done is try to one up each other for my approval. I just want us to find a place to throw this damn party at!

Miss M: Well trust me, this will be the best place. In fact Chris, you can just head back to Canada now. I've got this in the candy bag.

Chris G: I'm not going anywhere short stack.

Miss M: Did you just call me a pancake?

Chris G: Yes. I would have used the term hot cakes, but you are as cold as ice.

Miss M: Why I oughta!

April: Let's just go inside.

The group walks into a grand mansion...

Frankenberry: Hello! Miss M! Welcome to the Monster Cereal Mansion!

Chris G: Now this place seems doable.

Miss M: Told you so.

April: I don't know. The walls seem so flimsy.

April: And why is there a cardboard cut out of Count Chocula?

Frankenberry: Well Count Chocula is currently out of the country so we use the cut out as a stand in. I talk to the cardboard when I'm feeling lost. It helps. Anyways, he left to attend a huge event called Rave Upon Romania. He loves the various tastes of Europe this time of year.

Miss M: I thought he was dating Ms. Shortcake?

Frankenberry: No, he decided he no longer wanted a chocolate covered strawberry in his life. He gets rather bored.

Miss M: Are you still with Jasmine?

Frankenberry: Yep. We are going strong. So what brings you to the mansion?

Chris G: My client and I are looking for a spooky spot to host a gruesome Halloween Party. We'd like to use the space here.

Frankenberry: Oh that sounds lovely. We haven't opened the doors to this mansion in decades. A Halloween Party sounds perfect.

Boo Berry: (floats down from above) Wait one second!

Miss M: Hey Boo Berry!

Boo Berry: M, you are a dear friend, but we can't just open the mansion up for a public party. It will cost some sort of money to use our home for your merriment.

April: It's going to cost money to use this space? I could build this with some old cereal boxes in my attic. You have got to be kidding!

Boo Berry: Afraid not. It takes a lot to keep this mansion up and there's no telling what kind of riff raff will show up. I read page six. I know what kinds of problems follow your Halloween parties.

April: All lies!

Chris G: We could always go else where. I heard Captain Crunch is fitting his boat for the Halloween season too.

Frankenberry: Oh come on Boo Berry, we can't let Captain Crunch win with his uninspired boat. We need this! This monster bachelor pad is collecting more cob webs than... than... well I don't know.

Boo Berry: (sighs) I guess you might have a point. With Count Chocula away raving until dawn in Romania, he won't be able to tell us no. Let's do it.

Miss M: Yay! Will Frute Brute or Yummy Mummy be in attendance?

Frankenberry: Frute Brute might make an appearance, but Yummy Mummy has been asleep in his tomb.

Frankenberry: I doubt he'll be coming back any time soon.

Chris G: I was always partial to Yummy Mummy.

April: This is great. We can start getting this Halloween party into high gear. Come on, we've got work to do.

Chris G: Well played short stack, well played.

Miss M: Yep. I know. Check and mate.

Chris G: I don't think that's what you mean, but whatever. I'm still going to make this party shine. Watch me.

A dear friendship blossoms.

At the Cat Lady lair,

Hordak: Come on, cut me loose.

Cheetah: Are you serious? Even I am not that dumb, and I'm nearly as bad as you.

Hordak: Precisely my point! How can you work with these do-gooders? Set me free and I will let you take Catra's old position in the Horde!

Cheetah: I might be a villainous vixen, but even I know that working with you would be career suicide. You're nothing but a bully.

Hordak: Maybe so. (snorts) You pathetic Cat Ladies can't keep me here forever though! Eventually someone will find me.

Cheetah: If someone does, we'll deal with them too. Just you watch.

Hordak: Oh I'm watching. Believe me. I'm watching.

At Wayne Manor...

Miss M: Honey, I'm home! Work was insane today!

Bruce Wayne: Babe, we need to talk...

Miss M: (screams) What are they doing here?!

Miss Elizabeth: We can explain.

Miss M: You guys can't take me back to the After Life! I won't go! I won't!

Miss Elizabeth: We aren't here for that. Angela and I have been watching over you for a number of days now. We would have continued doing that except for getting caught by Bruce.

Bruce Wayne: I heard noises on the roof and checked it out.

Angela: He knew we weren't supposed to be here.

Miss M: Exactly! What are you guys going here? You belong in the After Life!

Miss Elizabeth: The After Life fell. M, we are here in part for a place to hide out and also because we want to make sure nothing bad happens to you. That cosmic force we've talked about, well she is still searching for you. The good news is none of them have any idea where you are, which buys us some time.

Miss M: I don't believe this.

Angela: It will be ok though. None of us are going to let Lady Kale hurt you.

Miss M: Ok. I believe you. And no more staying on the roof. There is plenty of room for you two to stay inside.

Miss Elizabeth: Thank you. Since we are technically dead, we won't take up much space at all.

Miss M: Would you like to meet the baby? Yvie is precious.

Miss Elizabeth: Sure.

Bruce Wayne: M, wait a sec.

Miss M: Yes?

Bruce Wayne: Are you sure it's a good idea to have them here?

Miss M: Yes. Miss Elizabeth and Angela are strong warriors. They'll also keep us hidden from this so-called cosmic force that wishes me harm.
Bruce Wayne: I hope this cosmic entity stays on her side of the universe. I'll stop anyone too that tries to hurt you.

Miss M: Thank you babe. I love you.

Bruce Wayne: I love you too.

Else where on Earth...

Jana: I love the convenience of fast intergalactic travel. I just wish it wasn't to Earth. This planet is so hum drum didley dumb.

Lady Kale: Agreed. We mustn't fall into the doldrums though. Now come on, since we know Miss M is on this planet, it will be a simple matter of time before we find her...

To be continued!

And now a message from everyone's favorite dorkette, unless you're a crazed cosmic entity.

Miss M: Hey guys and dolls! I hope you have been keeping up with this obnoxious toy soap story so far. It has been in the works since the end of 2014 and with the end of this year slowly approaching everything is going to be happening non stop. These last months of 2015 are going to be a super fun toy ride, which will be leading up to some major changes at the Diary. All My Toys will be going on in 2016 but not in the same way. As you may have noticed this post was called the October 2015 Woman of Wonderosity! And there wasn't really one.

Miss M: But! There has been some great toy pictures though and there were Monster cereal mascots, so I hope you have enjoyed this post. Get ready though because the October 2015 Bodacious Baddie coming up next will feature some classic baddies as Miss M and April take yet another walk down memory lane during their days in high school. So stick around, Halloween season is just beginning for Diary of a Dorkette. Thanks for reading and hope everyone is doing well!


  1. cool look forward to all the fun and with lady kale now on earth thanks no doubt to velvet sky snitching the battle for miss m. but also the halloween party and all the chaos it will unleash.

    1. I have been waiting for this moment coming up for a very long time now. Lady Kale is up to all kinds of awful things and it will ll come to a boil this Halloween. I hope it will be entertaining. There might also be some surprises with Velvet Sky and the snitch.

  2. Who the Hell is Chris G? My only problem this post is that I have NO idea who that is! I he a wrestling guy or something?
    If so, it would be similar to any other wrestling figure you used in the past, like Miss Elizabeth where mainly I say, "Huh? WHO?" I NEVER watched Wrestling as a kind-and in fact it pissed me off, because the same people who liked wrestling, would dis me for liking comics.
    I respect pro-wrestling now, as an adult-cuz I see how similar it is to comics. Anyway that rant maybe is pointless, cuz I think Chris G is not a wrestler. Who is he though?
    Glad to see the crypt of Yummy Mummy! He might terrorize us yet!!
    Wait -you DO have the Filmation Hordak from Motu Classics right? I know you did posts with that one-you do have one don't you? Or am I hallucinating ? Anyway, I'm kinda surprised you don't use that one all the time cuz you luv Filmation. And also, do you have that Imp box thing?
    Anyway, great as always! Though too light on the Samus! I request more of her next time!
    Also, I am curious what you mean by the changes to the blog! Well, I guess I will see next time!
    All my love-
    the Moose

    1. Chris Gaida is one of my co-hosts and partners on the Geek Fallout podcast. I was shopping one night and saw that Big Show figure and I was like, "That looks like Chris!" So I got it and added him to the story because I thought it would be fun.

      I do have the Filmation Hordak but he is still mint in the box. I never opened him. I love him though! lol

      Samus might be light in the toy story department this month but she plays a really big role in all this. I am super excited about this too. I hope you are doing well Nick! Talk to you soon!