All My Toys: Wrap Up Already!

Dear Diary,

My journey is reaching an end. I am so very close to where I need to be. I don't know who will be meeting me at this looming castle on the horizon or who I will be talking to. The keys to my destiny are right at my finger tips! On a side note I am coughing up a bit of blood from my fight with my former lover turned psycho. Poor Bruce Wayne. Hopefully he'll realize the error of his ways. I can't fight him anymore. I just don't have it in me. Not anymore. Not after everything. I just want to find my place in the world. That's all.

-Miss M



At the rebel base where our heroes hang out,

Brian: Just a few more moments and it will all be ready. I just need to plug this in and...

Electronic songs hum the theme song to the Go Bots.

Glitter: Brian! I'm back!
Brian: Yep. Found a new shell for you really fast.

Glitter: I thought I'd be out of commission for a nano eon.
Brian: Those days are long gone. All I want to do with you is grab a Power Pad and slip into a Power Glove.
Glitter: Oh Brian, you are so bad!

Brian: Oh umm I wasn't trying to be naughty. I literally mean a Power Glove.
Glitter: I know exactly what you meant. (purrs like an electronic kitten)
Brian: Man am I glad you are back.

She-Ra: (walks in) Sorry to interrupt Brian, but I heard you got Glitter back up and running.
Brian: Man, word travels fast. Yep. She is back.
She-Ra: Great. I need her.

Brian: What? No way. I just got her CPU a new shell.

She-Ra: Look, she is the only electronic device that works around here. I need her to help me track down Miss M. We need to get to her.
Brian: Too bad. Not sad.

Glitter: Brian, you always do the right thing.

Brian: Not this time. I just got you back!

She-Ra: I'll throw in a bag of chips and a case of Ecto-Cooler.

Brian: No way! You found some Ecto-Cooler?
She-Ra: Sure, you can find anything in this wasteland.

Glitter: Brian, you've been searching for Ecto-Cooler for weeks now.
Brian: I know.

Glitter: Just let me help She-Ra. I'll be back soon.

Brian: (sighs) Fine. Help She-Ra, but if anything happens to you...

She-Ra: Don't worry. Nothing will happen.

Glitter: Yeah, nothing will happen!

Meanwhile,

Baroness: You've got five damn seconds to explain yourself. You look like ran over dog.

Cobra Commander: I was caught in an explosion.
Baroness: Like I give a rat's ass!? You've created a damn shit show.
Haggar: What are you doing here? Why didn't the Queen arrive?

Baroness: I was sent in her place. Pythona is running a bit late. She asked me to come down and fix this mess. Now explain to me how some stupid dopey dork girl has managed to remain free for this long?

Cobra Commander: We are working to stop her.

Baroness: Pythona is not pleased. So what are we going to do?

Haggar: I've already released a Weapon.

Baroness: The doofus you call Batman? Who thought it would be best to create a raging psycho Batman? Hmm? He already had personality problems beforehand. Damaged goods does not a Weapon make.

Cobra Commander: We wanted strong foes to come after her. They have history.

Baroness: I don't care. Just find her. Cobra must stay in charge of this world. We'll cease to exist otherwise.

Cobra Commander: I know what Cobra needs!

Baroness: Don't raise that raggedy voice at me roadkill. Pythona runs this place, I'm only following her orders. Now, let's find and destroy Miss M.

In other parts of the world,

Miss M: Why is it that someone is always trying to destroy me? It's just insane. I literally just want to veg out with some candy and Dr. Pepper. That's all.

Pinkie Pie: Heya Miss M! I can't believe you are still here in this apocalyptic toy world! Aren't you bored yet?
Miss M: Pinkie Pie, not now. I don't have the time to explain this.
Pinkie Pie: Explain what? You should've wrapped this up months ago! Wrap up already! People are going to drop like confetti if you don't!

Miss M: Look, this toy story shit takes time ok? Do you know how much I want to have everything ready and good to go but I can't? It's just me doing all of this. Besides, it took us six seasons to finally understand what Hodor meant. Marvel took like a decade to wrap up the most recent Secret Wars. Something tells me people will still want to know how this silly toy story ends.

Pinkie Pie: Is it really going to end? What will we do? Where will I go? Sure I can travel from party to party, but my place is on a shelf in your room! For eternity! I can't fade into glitter dust!

Miss M: Pinkie Pie, nothing is ending. Your spot on the shelf will be just fine. I did some not-so-good things ok? I ruined some lives and now I must make it right again. Which is why I am here. Do you have any idea who I am supposed to be meeting in this castle?
Pinkie Pie: No clue. I was having a confetti cake surprise party for Fluttershy. She got too nervous and locked herself in the bathroom. So in the meantime I thought it best to check on you.

Miss M: (crawls up huffing and puffing) I'm fine. I do think there is blood in my lungs though.
Pinkie Pie: Oh no!
Miss M: I'll be ok. Just need to meet the person here for the next step.

Miss M: You don't have to stay here Pinkie Pie. You should go back to Fluttershy.

Pinkie Pie: But I'm your spirit pony! What kind of spirit pony would I be if I just left you alone to fend for yourself in this noxious new world?

Miss M: Pinkie Pie, I totally have this under control. I've learned it best to rely on myself. I am my own hero and I will make this all right again.
Pinkie Pie: You have friends though Miss M. We're here for you.

Miss M: I know, but I have to do this on my own. Please go Pinkie Pie. Help Fluttershy and her white girl moment. We've all been there.

Pinkie Pie: Ok. If you insist. Just whistle the Sea Pony song and I'll be here if you need me. It's been kinda playing in my head for a month now.

Miss M: (watches Pinkie Pie leave) Ok. Now, let's find out who is home.

Miss M: Oh my goodness! It's you!

Maleficent: You're more trouble than anything I've ever seen dork girl.
Miss M: Maleficent! My goodness it's been awhile.

Maleficent: Too long. You ruined my livelihood. I was all set to retire in the After Life. Now we all got jumbled up. Toys are stuck on the wall. I'm living in this dusty old castle. No one has quite been the same. Come, let's walk inside. It's no longer safe to be out for long periods. Cobra will slither in.

Miss M: What is going on? Why was I supposed to meet you here?
Maleficent: Because I know the key to bring the world back to its former pathetic glory.

Miss M: I'm all ears.

Maleficent: You must travel to the end of the world. Look within yourself and give up something most important. You know how to do that. How to sacrifice. How to always end up doing the right thing. Ugh. You're worse than a Disney Princess.

Miss M: But I didn't do the right thing. I screwed up everything. The world hates me.
Maleficent: They'll get over it. All they really want is to return to a much simpler time. Of course those times are gone aren't they? This is the new world. The new way. I trust you will figure it out.

Miss M: You think so?
Maleficent: Of course dork girl. You won't be doing it alone though.
Miss M: I don't follow.
Maleficent: All this brave talk about how you will correct the world on your own because you're some sort of hero... hog wash. You can't do it alone. Why I suppose you really could, but that's not how this ends. Working with the people you care most about will turn the tides. Now run outside and finish this mission.
Miss M: I will do my best.

Maleficent: Silly dork girl. Whatever were you thinking? Everything eventually comes back to haunt and rattle. (walks outside)

Maleficent: Poor dear doesn't realize what she has gotten herself into. They'll all hate me for keeping the truth from them.

Maleficent: However she's smart enough to figure it out. I just love mysterious talk.

Miss M: What is this? What are you two doing here?

She-Ra: We're here to deliver you and some rather precious cargo to the end of the world.
Miss M: Really?

Michelangelo: Really dudette. Like my radical pirate costume? I wore it just for you since you like pirates.

She-Ra: Come on, we don't have much time. We must deliver this item and destroy the end of the world so that we can free your mind Miss M.

Miss M: Why didn't you tell me this sooner?

Miss M: We can't destroy something just to free my mind and bring the world back to its random normal place.

Michelangelo: We kinda have to though dudette. Cobra is only getting stronger. They've totally slithered their way to the top of the food chain. We have to stop them.

Miss M: I don't want to stop anyone. I just want to be left alone. I lost my daughter. My ex boyfriend is a raging psycho-fool hell bent on killing me. I'm missing friends. No one knows where April is.

Michelangelo: We'll find them dudette.

She-Ra: Of course we will. Now come on, we must hurry.

Miss M: Are we riding in that thing?
She-Ra: Yes. It contains a special item in the back. Hop on in!

Miss M: Why does it smell like pizza in here?
She-Ra: The Turtles may or may not have been riding around in this for a moment.
Miss M: Oh. Ok.

The vehicles rev up to begin their journey across the shaggy blue wasteland.

Miss M lurches forward as she scrambles for a seat belt that is not even there.

Michelangelo leads the way scouting ahead for any potential threats.

She-Ra looks to her mirrors, hoping the special item in back is ok.

Miss M: Wow. Here we are on another adventure. It just makes my heart sing.

She-Ra: Me too M. I'll make sure we get out of this one alive. The both of us.

In another part of the toy wasteland...

April O'Neil, Megan Fox, and Casey Jones make their way across a treacherous path, hoping to find safety.

April: (eyes her surroundings) Look at this dump. Who are all these people? Is that bear drunk off of honey? Why is there a pot on his head? And someone left their baby on the road! Trash!

Megan: This is the aftermath of the world ending. What else did you expect?

Casey Jones: We don't have time to stop and make observations. We need to hurry before we are caught.

April: Well they can catch Megan. I won't mind.

Casey Jones: No one is going to be caught. We will get through this together.

Megan: Thank you Casey.

April: Back up bitch!
Megan: Oh gawd April, I don't want your man.
April: I don't care. You wanted my life once. You need to step away.

Megan: I'm not going anywhere. I go where you both go. I'm not going back down those stairs, got it?

April: I suppose so.
Megan: Besides, I am far more interested in Stephen Amell.

Casey Jones: I was told I resemble him in the right light.

April: Casey, shut up. Let's just get through this. We're bound to find someone we know soon. Right?

Right!

Up next, this arc comes to a furious finish with All My Toys: Road Trip!