Thursday, July 14, 2016

All My Toys: Road Trip!

Dear Diary,

I love Mad Max. Those movies are wonderful. And while there might be a bit of a tarnished image of the man behind three of Max's outings, I still love the idea of a mashup of vehicles just tearing up the ground as foes and heroes fight. It reminds me of what I would do as a kid. I loved nothing more than recreating my own Mad Max style chases. I am not usually one to embrace adrenaline and action being such a girly vision before you, but I secretly like it. I secretly enjoy the danger and drama on the open road. So as I ride around in this big old dump truck with She-Ra behind the wheel, I can't help but think of the times where I'd pretend to be in a chain metal dress in a desert with my toys all around. Anyways, I've got to go diary. My life depends on it.

For now,

Miss M

Villains converge among the toy rubble of the new post apocalyptic toy world to discuss their devious plans,

Rita: Well? What is the plan fearless commander? Word has it that the group harboring Miss M are planning on leaving down into the Edge of Nothingness. Queen Pythona will not like this.
Cobra Commander: Must you all remind me? Miss M will not get away. Not this time.

Baroness: Don't be so sure! As we stand here like strumpets relishing in gold leaf Miss M and her group of morons are escaping! They could ruin everything that Cobra fought so hard to create. This is our world. It is our time.

Rita: Quit talking like you are some stupid tag line for an early 2000 doll line. This is serious!

Cobra Commander: Serious indeed, which is why I have already sent one of my best to stop them. Galvanus well destroy them. All before the great queen even returns. You'll see.

On the road again,

Miss M: So what's in the back of this truck?
She-Ra: I can't say.
Miss M: It's not a bunch of supermodel virgins is it? I saw Fury Road. This can't be what is really happening.
She-Ra: There are no virgins in the truck.
Miss M: I'll say. Ba da bum.
She-Ra: You have foul sensibilities.

Miss M: Do you know I once had such a huge crush on Mel Gibson? Before the meltdown. Like when I was little I would secretly watch that sex scene in Lethal Weapon 2 with the imagining of what it would be like to be the pretty blonde. Until she was killed. 
She-Ra: Why are you thinking of Mel Gibson right now?
Miss M: I mean, I don't know. Being on the open road I guess.

Michelangelo: It's mighty quiet around here. This drive is almost too easy.

Miss M: It's so weird.
She-Ra: What is so weird?

Miss M: How I end up in places I never expected to. It's like 7 months ago I was involved with Batman and we had a child. Now our child is gone and he has become this raving lunatic. I thought you were gone forever. I never thought I'd be teaming up with Michelangelo again. Not since we broke up and he married Mona Lisa. Plus the entire toy world hates me for creating this mess of a world. I just want a return to normal.

She-Ra: I don't think things can ever return to normal. What happens though if you have to choose? Choose this toy world or choose going back to the real life human world? Can you truly say goodbye to all of this?
Miss M: She-Ra, I don't know that there is much left here. Look around you. This is a waste land.
She-Ra: But it's your waste land. So let's just waste away together, all of us. Think about it before doing anything.
Miss M: Ok.
She-Ra: We're getting close to the Edge of Nothingness.

As the truck rumbles through the open blue shag road, someone looks on from above.

Galvanus breathes heavily looking down at his prey.

Recalling his orders, Galvanus follows the truck closely. 

Growling in a low menacing tone, he prepares for his mode of attack.

Leaping into the air Galvanus hurls himself to the truck below. His only thought is to kill Miss M.

Hitting the truck hard, Galvanus readies himself!

Miss M: Did you hear that?
She-Ra: Yeah. Sounded like a boulder hitting us.

Miss M: A boulder? Like from Death Mountain in that old fairy tale Legend of Zelda? We're surrounded by toys. Where would a boulder come from?

She-Ra: I don't know. There is a lot of stuff in this room. Any number of things could have hit us.
Miss M: I hope it isn't trouble.

Pearl of wisdom: When something hits your car, it's always trouble.

Galvanus: AHHH!

Miss M: Oh no! It's that guy! The one with Cobra!

She-Ra veers off the road colliding with a mismatch of random toys!

Michelangelo does not quite realize his friends are in trouble.

He does however notice something in the distance. He keeps driving to investigate.

Galvanus: Open the door!

She-Ra: Don't open the door!
Miss M: Oh please. He doesn't scare me!

Miss M: I beat all three Streets of Rage. I have this!

Miss M: You need to leave us alone!

Galvanus: (slams M into the truck) Feel my pain.

She-Ra: Oh dear. I left my power sword at the hideout.

Miss M: He doesn't scare me. You know why?

Galvanus: Hey! Get off me!
Miss M: You don't scare me because I know you! Who are you?

Galvanus: Get off me runt!
Miss M: No! Tell me who you are! I know you from somewhere!

Galvanus: Stop! Damn you nimble little thing!

Miss M: Come on, I just need to wiggle this off...

Galvanus: No! You can't break me!!!

The force of their struggle knocks them both back.

Miss M: Damn. He is strong.

Galvanus: Curse you. What did you do to me?

She-Ra: You all right M?
Miss M: I think so. Look! Galvanus is revealing himself!

It's Chris Gaida!

Chris Gaida: Damn you dorkette.

Miss M: Chris!? Explain yourself! You've been a bad guy this whole time?! That's not like you.
Chris Gaida: Isn't it though?
She-Ra: Forgive me, who is this?
Miss M: We worked together before the world turned to shit.
Chris Gaida: Yeah. We did. How could you just leave us M? Leave us to this hoarder filled mess? I'm not totally complaining though, but you didn't have to bail on us.
Miss M: I'm sorry. I got caught up in the real world. Things happened.

Chris Gaida: Damn right things happened. I got separated from the pack. I ended up cleaning the toilets in some rinky Cobra building and before I knew it I've been hypnotized by some chick and then got these things on my eyes forcing me to watch Solaris, which I never planed on doing, and I soon lost my mind.

Miss M: I'm so sorry that Cobra did that to you.
Chris Gaida: You should be.

She-Ra: Hey, it's not like she ditched us to go wash doll hair. She was going through a lot.
Miss M: To be honest though, there was some doll hair washing in the real world.
She-Ra: You don't have to admit that. Ever.

Michelangelo: Hey dudettes and one big tough dude. I didn't notice you got lost and stuff.

Michelangelo: I found some refreshments! Some rad refreshments.

Miss M: Refreshments?
Chris Gaida: I could eat. Cobra doesn't really leave time for people to have a lunch break.
She-Ra: I don't think we can eat them.

Casey Jones: He meant reinforcements, not refreshments.

April: M?! Is that you?!

Miss M: Yep. It's me in my super hero disguise!
April: Holy cow am I excited to see you!

Miss M: I know! It's been way too long.

April: Oh M, it's been horrible. You really screwed things up when you left. I haven't been able to find a dermatologist in this apocalypse of a world. Tell me, is my skin starting to sag?

Miss M: You still look like you haven't aged a day since 1992.
April: Thank you.

Miss M: I'm glad we are mostly here together. We're leaving this area down into the Edge of Nothingness.

April: But there's nothing beyond the Edge of Nothingness! We just came from there!
Miss M: We don't believe that. We're delivering something beyond the Edge. I'm going to make things right again.
April: Is that Chris Gaida?

Chris Gaida: Hey boss lady.
April: I should fire you! You were that Galvanus thing! You tossed me off the Edge!
Chris Gaida: I can't be held liable. Brainwashed by Cobra and stuff.

She-Ra: Look, as nice as these reunions are, we need to get out of here. Time is wasting.

Michelangelo: She-Ra is right dudes and dudettes. Let's get this show on the road!

Megan Fox: Umm, where are we all fitting?

Casey Jones: Are there enough vehicles for us all?

Miss M: I mean, no. Not really. We have a small budget. Luckily the truck is big enough to fit us all.

Miss M: Except for you Chris. I need you to head back to our hideout. There's this guy named Brian Farrell there, and you two can gather a team to hunt down Cobra. Help give us some time. Got it?


Cobra Commander: My plan does not appear to be working. Galvanus should have returned by now with Miss M's head in his hands.

Baroness: You always find the worst help. Let me guess? You brainwashed him with a copy of Solaris?

Haggar: It's worked before!

Rita Repulsa: It can work again too! I've received word that our weapon known as Batman has been brought back. He is being cleansed and reprogrammed to hunt down Miss M as we speak.

Cobra Commander: Very well. Just make sure they don't destroy the copy of Solaris. It's the only one we have.

Pythona: Attention! There is no need for Solaris. I just saw the Batman. I had a special word with him. He will obey and help us kill Miss M.

Pythona: Now, explain to me why we are even needing to find Miss M? How have you fools managed to still have this simpleton be free?

Pythona: I'm waiting for an answer.

Cobra Commander: Things have been difficult to say the least.

Baroness: Not that difficult Pythona. You trusted the wrong person to lead while you were gone.

Pythona: Damn you Cobra Commander! We are on the verge of losing everything!
Cobra Commander: You think I don't know that? I know what we could lose!
Pythona: Is that so?

Baroness: You should hear Cobra Commander at night. He has these horrible night terrors. He's petrified at the amount of control he has lost.

Pythona: Quit your sniveling Baroness. What's done is done. We have to fix this.

Cobra Commander: We are going to fix this. I have my men on it. Miss M is probably already dead by now.

Haggar: Listen to him Pythona. He is our fearless leader!

Pythona: I am your fearless leader! I am! Or have you all forgotten?

Pythona: Listen to me! Listen to me! Figures of all shapes and sizes of this new world. This new dangerous world. Who made sure the chaos was held at bay? Who drove out those pathetic supporters of Miss M? It was me.

Pythona: I united us all against the threat of Miss M.

Pythona: I made sure you all had a reason to keep on living after everything was taken from you.

Pythona: I am the one you believe in. I am your queen. Chant my name! Queen Pythona!

Queen Pythona! Queen Pythona! Queen Pythona!

Queen Pythona! Queen Pythona!

The chanting rises into a loud battle cry.

Pythona: Silence! (the crowd dies down into a scary quiet) This new world is in danger again. Somewhere out there Miss M is escaping. Escaping from her crimes. She must answer for what she did. We're going to find her.

Pythona: We're going to bring her back here! Not to stand trial or to be frozen to the wall! No!

Pythona: We're bringing her back, and we're going to kill her!

The toys scream.

Meanwhile, Miss M and her friends find themselves past the Edge of Nothingness and into a whole new world,

Miss M: Who would have thought there'd be this whole other space past the Edge of Nothingness?
She-Ra: It's convenient isn't it? That's what Cobra would make you believe, that there's nothing past the Edge.
Miss M: The ride down that spiral staircase was intense, but look at all this open road! There doesn't need to be an apocalyptic nightmare for anyone. This space is perfect for people to live in.

Casey Jones: You ok?
April: I'm not sure. We just did something crazy.
Casey Jones: What? Going over the Edge of Nothingness?

April: Yes. I have a bad feeling about this. They will come after us.

Casey Jones: Let them. I won't let anything happen to us.

Miss M: Where are you driving us?
She-Ra: I'm not sure. I was hoping things would start to make sense and we'd know what to do next.

Miss M: Let's keep going. It's the perfect road trip. Look at all this open space. We'll figure this out.

Casey Jones: It looks like we're driving towards something ominous.

As She-Ra drives forward, Miss M continues to wonder what is in the back of the truck, besides Megan Fox of course.

Megan Fox: I can't believe they just threw me back here.
Glitter: It's delightful. I'm wonderful company.

The heroes keep driving along.

Megan Fox: What are you even doing here anyway?
Glitter: I'm not sure. She-Ra asked me to come along. I have a built in coordinate speculator. I sort of told them this is where we needed to be going. It's dangerous. I left my boyfriend behind to embark on this journey.
Megan Fox: (smirks) Who is your boyfriend? A Virtual Boy? (snickers)
Glitter: No. A virtual man. A real man. I miss Brian very much. I hope he knows that.
Megan Fox: I can't right now with this. It's just too weird for me.

They keep riding approaching their ominous destination,

Michelangelo: You ok dudette?

Miss M: Yep. We'll get through this.

The vehicles begin to slow down as they approach a giant open doorway into nothing but darkness!

She-Ra: I don't think we can go much further.

Miss M: Wait. I know this place.

Michelangelo: What is it?
She-Ra: M, you don't look good.

Miss M: I'm going to be fine. I just need to walk in there.

Michelangelo: Are you sure? It looks dark and gloomy babe-a-licious.

She-Ra: We can go with you.

Michelangelo: For sure. No telling what nasty stuff is in there.
Miss M: Trust me. I know what's in there. I'm in there.

Miss M: It's the kitchen from my real world. It's the last place I was at before I came back to the toy world.

Miss M: I have to do this alone.

Miss M: This is what I need to do, to make everything right.

Miss M: I apologize if I go in and things change again. It's not my intention.

Miss M: Shit. What am I doing?

Miss M: Do I really want to go back there? (she takes the step) Nothing else I can do now.

Miss M: Let's see. Where's the real world me. (turns to hear sobbing)

Michael Lynn: What am I doing? Come on, get a grip.

Michael Lynn: You need to get up. You need to face the real world. You can't keep living like this.

Michael Lynn: What kind of life are you going to have with your head in nothing but plastic clouds? I need to give it up. I need to say good bye and find a way out of the mess I'm in.

Miss M: Don't do it. You have a good life. It's far from perfect and it might be a little broken, but it's your life. Don't throw it all away.

She-Ra: Where is she? This is taking too long.

Michelangelo: There's no telling what tubular demons M's bashing and thrashing with in there warrior babe.

She-Ra: You can just call me She-Ra. We should be in there helping her. This is insane!

April: Casey? What do we do if she goes away again? I can't lose Miss M.
Casey Jones: Hon, we'll face whatever is thrown our way. There's always going to be a place for us.

Megan Fox: Why did we stop? What sort of existential crisis is this mess?
Glitter: I've lost my signal of Miss M. I believe she has traveled to the real world. In search of something. Maybe an answer to her fate?

Megan Fox: Whatever. It's hot in here.
Glitter: Do you want me to plug in my fan?
Megan Fox: No. (pauses) Wait. Do you hear that?
Glitter: I think so.

Megan Fox: I hear something out there. Let me get a closer look.

Megan Fox: (looks around) Wow. This area is huge! It's like a whole new world.

Megan Fox: (pauses in fear at something in the distance) Oh gosh. Oh no. Hey. Guys. Look at this. I think we're all dead meat.

She-Ra: Holy Etheria.

Michelangelo: Bitchin.

Michelangelo: Totally bitchin.

Michelangelo: They're coming straight for us.

She-Ra: Hurry. Get Miss M. Now!

Michelangelo: Ok, come on Miss M! Where are you.

Michelangelo: (feels around) Sorry about this. There you are!

Miss M: Hey! Let me go!

Miss M: What the hell?! I was finally going to get answers!

Michelangelo: No time for answers dudette. I'm sorry.

Miss M: What are you talking about? I have to fix this! (pauses as she hears the roar of multiple vehicles in the air)

Miss M: What is that?

She-Ra: Cobra. It's Cobra.

Miss M: Where are we gonna go?
She-Ra: I don't know.

Miss M: Drive to them. They want a fight, let's give it to them.

Megan Fox: Great. Just great.

She-Ra turns the truck around heading for a rumble.

They are out numbered in every way.

It's a collision course of mayhem!

Pythona: COBRA!

Baroness: I want on that truck. I want to see the look on her face when I kill her.

Destro: This will be easier than getting a date with the Baroness.

Zarana: Fools. All of them.

The forces of evil continue to drive forward!

Pythona: They'll never make it out alive.

The air is cool as the hum of the AC kicks on. In the distance, possibly from a bedroom, a voice rings out, "Be quiet in there, some of us are trying to sleep!"

Dangers of the road can't be hushed!

Zarana: Looks like we've got more help.

Veering off to the side, Zarana makes way for a new road warrior.

Keeping a safe space open, Zarana waits for the reveal.

Sensing something behind the Parasite, Pythona lets up to let her fellow Cobra member pass.

Batman rides on in a blast from the dusty toy vault.

Pythona grins at what Cobra has done. They've taken the dark knight and made him a devious killing machine.

Pythona: That's right. Drive on. Take her out.

Miss M: Oh no! Batman is going to shoot us down!

She-Ra: Just hold on. I hope the bullets won't pierce the truck.

They race forward.

Something begins to change though, the Batmobile begins to drift.

Firing forward the Batmobile heads towards Cobra!

Firing a hail of bullets, Batman makes his choice very clear. No amount of brainwashing is going to get him to kill his one true love. (That's Miss M for the uninitiated.)

Pythona: Fool! Cobra! Do something!

Unable to hold back, Zarana cuts into the mayhem to take the Batmobile out.

A crash commences with lots of loud screeches and exploding vehicular parts!

Both vehicles lose control!

Oh no!

The Batmobile and Zarana slam into a wall with explosive results!

Miss M: Oh no! Batman!

The chase is still on as Cobra closes in!

Casey Jones: Damn. This isn't good.
April: Why are we driving towards them! She-Ra, get us out of here!

She-Ra: Ok! Ok!

Miss M: Wait! What's Michelangelo doing?!

Michelangelo: Come on douche lords! Enough of this grody mess.

Michelangelo: Eat my massive missile!

Michelangelo: (jolts forward) Aww man. Not cool.

Michelangelo: No way dude! I'm stuck!

Michelangelo: Crapola!

Michelangelo: (sighs) At least She-Ra can get them out.

Michelangelo: Dude. This is gonna hurt.

Michelangelo: Cowabung-ugh.

The heroes drive towards parts unknown with Cobra still close.

Entering into new territory, the heroes try to shake off Cobra.

Destro speeds off while Baroness and Pythona close in.

Miss M: She-Ra, we are surrounded.

Pythona: Come on, get closer! These damn old vehicles!

Baroness: Are your feet getting tired yet? They better not! Drive closer!

Baroness: That's right! This is my stop!

Baroness: Ha!

Megan Fox: What is going on out there? We are moving too much!

Megan Fox: (tries to hold onto something as the truck jostles about) They can't keep driving like maniacs, I can't keep my balance!

Glitter: Maybe I can help stabilize things?

Megan Fox: (yells and loses balance as the truck makes a sharp turn) Damn it!
Glitter: Oh no. I may have pressed a button I should not have pressed.

Glitter: Oh. I wonder what this device does?

Megan Fox: Can it give me a seat belt? Or helmet?

Baroness looks on as a giant nunchuck begins to move.

Baroness: Damn. They're good.

The spinning nunchuck meets one of the Cobra vehicles.

The heavy barrel slams hard on the car.


A singular explosion pops the car into the air, only to come crashing down.

Baroness: (gasps) Damn it!

Baroness: Come on already!

Baroness: Now what do we have here?

Pythona: Steady. Steady!

Pythona: Auto pilot, engage!

Pythona joins the Baroness. Both are ready to finally end this!

Pythona: We go from the top. Take them by surprise.
Baroness: What about the back?

Pythona: Listen to me! There's no telling what's inside this truck. Come on, we attack from the top.

Baroness: Come on, let's kill these bitches already.

She-Ra: I think we're in the clear.
Miss M: I do too. We need to circle back though. We can't leave Batman and Michelangelo behind.
She-Ra: I don't know that they made it M.

Baroness: (whispers) Look down there.

Baroness unleashes a net on Casey Jones as April tries to save her husband.

Dropping in, Baroness delivers some swift kicks towards April.

Miss M: Damn it! They're on the truck.

She-Ra: Total nuisance. Go get 'em M!

Swinging up, Miss M prepares to face her enemies!

Pythona: Baroness! Get up here! We have company.

Miss M: I don't think we've met. I'm WoW, and you don't belong here.

Pythona: We haven't met, no. But I know who you really are. Prepare to die Miss M.

Miss M: Come on, what gave my identity away?
Pythona: You smell like stale glitter that wasn't good enough for a plastic toy.
Miss M: Ouch.

Pythona: We don't need to fight. Just come in with me and prepare to be executed in front of all the toys you abandoned!

Miss M: I abandoned no one. I am going to make things right!

Pythona: There is no making it right. Baroness! Now!

Miss M is rushed by two of the toughest broads in toy history. Our fearless hero is able to kick Pythona off her, but Baroness has an iron clad grip like the worst prenup you could ever imagine.

Miss M: You're losing your balance Baroness!
Baroness: (falls back) Filthy swine!

Pythona: YAHH!

Miss M: Stop this! We are moving too fast!

Pythona: Not until you give in and just die already!
Baroness: Yeah! Screw you dorkette!

Miss M fights off her enemies with ease.

Pythona: You damn little shit!

Baroness: You'll have to hit me harder than that.

Miss M: I can make an arrangement. You forget, I have over 20 years of Mortal Kombat experience!

Miss M: (uppercuts Baroness across the truck) That will do the trick!

In pain, Baroness rests for a moment on the edge of the truck. She'd never publicly admit this, but the truth is there. Shit hurts.

Pythona: Damn you dorkette!

Miss M: Bring it betch! I was trying to call you bitch but I also just burped a little.

Pythona: Disgusting hooligan!

The two struggle on the edge of danger!

Miss M: You need to just go home! You won't stop me from making this right!
Pythona: (gets her eyes ready for hypnotizing) Look at me! You've only ever done everything wrong! You screw up everything in your life. You half ass any work you do. You can't keep a man to save your life. You even make the lamest of super heroes. Just slit your wrists already you piece of pathetic trash!
Miss M: (in a hypnotic daze) What am I doing? I can't keep doing this. We can't keep fighting.

They aren't paying attention to the spinning mechanical nunchuk.

Miss M: (still in a daze) I'll go. You're right. I won't be able to fix this.
Pythona: (smiles) That's right.

Pythona: (notices the nunchuck and screams) Get off me you fool!

Pythona: (starts to choke, breaking her hypnotic spell)
Miss M: (regains mental control) Wait, what? Oh no! You're choking! Let me help you!

Pythona gags, struggling to free herself.

Miss M: (gets kicked off by Pythona) Wait! Let me help you!
Pythona: Ack, glug, ack.

The nunchuck spins her off slamming her into the ground.

Miss M: Oh no! I could have helped!

Miss M: I never want my enemies to be killed. It's just not ok.

Miss M: I'm so sorry Pythona. You had such fun hair too.

Miss M: Man, I think she hypnotized me for a second. What if we had a lesbian experience? I don't even know what I think about that.

Baroness: You are so stupid!

Miss M: Stay back!

The truck hits a bump in the road that tosses Baroness back!

Baroness: Don't aim that thing at me!

Baroness: Quit it! I'm supposed to win. Cobra is supposed to rule this world!

Miss M: Cobra won't be ruling a thing. (presses button to fire off a round of plastic explosives)

Baroness: COBRA!!! (Editor's note: In reality the missiles fired off spectacularly making impact with the Baroness figure. She flew across the air. The effect would have been awesome but you all must settle for the recreation in photos. Sorry! -M)

Baroness: NOOO!

The truck keeps zooming along as Miss M looks around at the path they carved.

Miss M: How are we doing down there?

She-Ra: We're good. For now. We've hit a snag.

Destro: There they are! Let's demolish them!

Miss M: It won't ever end, will it?

Miss M: Just turn around She-Ra! We can out run that old thing!

She-Ra: Sorry but it's no use. Parasite is behind us.
Miss M: Crap. Stop the truck.
She-Ra: Are you sure?
Miss M: No. But do it anyway.

Miss M: Meet me out here.

She-Ra: What's up?
April: Yeah. Why did we stop? You saw the two Cobra vehicles coming for us right? We should probably get the hell out of here.
Miss M: I have. We've hit the end of the road girls. This is it.

Miss M: I'm a total hack. I can't fix this world. Not possible.

April: So you're just going to give up? That's stupid. I'm not going back into Cobra custody.

She-Ra: I'm still super strong without my sword. We can put up a good fight.

Glitter: Or you could just let me fix this.

Glitter: I needed to stretch my robot parts. I've been cooped up in the back with Megan Fox. For some a dream, for me the stuff of nightmares.

Miss M: What are you going to do?

Glitter: What you need is a good reboot M. Just a nice little reboot.

Miss M: Like what kind of reboot? Are we talking Marvel or DC reboot? Because it can be hit or miss.

Glitter: I don't know anything about that. What I do know is that I have power. Nintendo Power. I also have a reset button.

April: A reset button? That doesn't sound good.

Miss M: What will happen to us if you press reset?
Glitter: I don't know. I'm not quite sure what will happen, but it might just be better than this.

Miss M: What about Brian though? I think he'll hate me if I let you press the reset button.
Glitter: No he won't. Besides, I always find my way back to him. Just press this button and wait for the countdown.
Miss M: I don't know about this. (presses the button) Ok. I either just made a great choice or the worst possible action ever.

April: Oh no, falling in love with that douche bag Fritz in high school was the worst possible action you could have ever done. That Toxie guy would have been perfect for you. I wonder what happened to him?

She-Ra: Let us not forget about the time you wrote that scathing article about Velvet Sky's hair. That was a pretty bad action too. Although it did set you on the path that has brought us all here. Still bad though. You had everyone wanting to kill you.

Miss M: Ok, ok! I may have done some stupid things back in the day. But if this reset button has just doomed us, I guess it's good I'm here with my two best friends.

She-Ra: Aww. Of course Miss M. Where else would we be?
April: I should probably be with my husband in the truck right now, but this is really good too.
Miss M: Thanks April. Hey, did you guys hear that? It sounds like static...


Miss M: Ouch!

Miss M: Holy cow, I really need to stop tossing and turning so much in bed.

Miss M: How long have I been out on the floor? Wait.

Miss M: (jumps up) I'm in my old room again! Oh my goodness! The world isn't post apocalyptic! The reset button worked!

Miss M: Is this a dream? What is going on? Oh cool, a unicorn.

Miss M: Oh hey. I know what you must be thinking. How does any of this make any sense? Well first of all who doesn't have unicorns in their room? They are freakin cool. I know this makes no sense. It's not supposed to. The world is back to normal! Finally! Whew. I guess it's back to the regular grind. Wait till April hears about this. Lots of new material for Diary of a Dorkette! Now, if you would be so kind as to leave for now. I kinda need to shower. And find out where this unicorn lives. You do have a home right?
Unicorn: NAY Hay Nay!
Miss M: Ok. Whatever. 

Is the world truly back to normal? Will Miss M be able to find her way back into society? Only one way to find out! Diary of a Dorkette is just getting started! Thanks for taking the time to read. I've got more stuff in store that will find its way to your funny bone. Take care everyone!


  1. I love Mad Max too but sadly I didn't grow up with it. I only saw the movies back in 2013 when rumors of Fury Road were starting to circulate so I figured that I'd better catch up soon. It also helped that Road Warrior and Beyond Thunderdome on one of those two sided DVDs so it seemed like a great way to exploit my one free rental coupon!

    While I like them all (even if the original is slow and Thunderdome is cheesy by comparison) I wish I had seen them spread out over time to let them simmer so I could absorb and appreciate them more rather than binging all at once.

    Although speaking of Mel Gibson, all the Lethal Weapon movies have been added to Netflix, maybe I'll finally have a chance to play catch up with all the sequels I never saw.

    GASP Chris Giada! After an unmasking like that I expected him to rant about how he would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those meddling kids!

    No refreshments? Aw I was hoping you'd brought enough Ecto Cooler and Smile Twinkies for everyone.

    I think Rita is just going along with controlling Batman so that she can get ahold of his money to pay for he breast reduction surgery. We all know that isn't going to be cheap!

    This is the weirdest episode of wacky races ever!

    What? A Unicorn? Does Pinkie Pie know you've been seeing other spirit ponies?

    Looks like we've got another big change in the status quo. What can expect from someone who loves comics and soap operas! In any case rest assured that I'll be back for your next crazy adventure!

    1. Ecto Cooler has proven to be the most difficult thing to find. I am losing my mind trying to find that stuff. lol The difficult thing about Chris Gaida is trying to come up with dialogue that would be true to him. lol I don't really know how to do that very well. It's like a safe Chris Gaida. lol

      I think Pinkie Pie has a lot to be jealous about. Too many different ponies in this world.

      With Rita being very conicaly endowed, I do wonder how they will treat such a signature look in the new movie. I have so many thoughts about what we have seen so far. It's a very interesting thing.

      I can't thank you enough for always being here to read and catch up on things. It means a lot. There's always something crazy going on and while I'd still be doing this regardless is someone was reading or not, it does mean a lot that you stop by and check things out. I hope you are doing well!

    2. Ecto Cooler availability seems to vary by region. It might be easier just to order Dan Ackroyd's "Crystal Skull" vodka.

      The photos in Entertainment weekly show Rita in a green jumpsuit that kind of looks like Uma Thurman's Poison Ivy from Batman and Robin. The effort is the more her look more modern but I think it just make her more generic. Being a franchise fan it's easy to want to push the the panic button and say "ruined forever!" One need look no further than the recent Ghostbusters remake to see how passions can overcome common sense. I just have to remember my own words about how an adaptation is by nature a compromise.

      Rita's look in the original Japanese series based her character on the Russian folk tale villain Baba Yaga. Power Rangers cut a that backstory, so a this new adaptation of that reedited vision wouldn't need to be tied with that old outfit. The leading theory is that her new green suit is mean to tie into the origin of the Green Ranger, but I think it's so she looks more like Loki. But that's just my interpretation of what little we've seen and the conclusions I've jumped to as a crazed fan. As a nostalgic viewer I'd be interested in hearing your point of view.

      It's my pleasure to check in. I enjoy seeing what antics you're up to like bounce off a fellow creative in the geek community.

      It brings me back to the early days when we were both on the League of Extraordinary Bloggers were I was trying to figure out how best to channel my interests into my work and found people like yourself, Derek and Brian who have brought to light things that I either hadn't thought about or didn't even know about that's broadened my horizons and lightened up one of the dark corners of the Internet.

      It's been inspiring to see you persistent in your posts and just being so unapologetically unique in your presentation. Every so often I kick myself for not being regular in my blog posts because I can see just how committed you've been over the years. Its given some ambitious ideas on the table now so well just see what comes of the in the future!

  2. I loved getting to see the photos of your collection on display!

    1. Oh goodness that crazy mess of a display! It's not how I want it to be but it is the best I can do. I have too much stuff. lol

  3. nice and surprising did not see the chris gadias reveal as the mad max warrior . plus also cool to see a pythona figure did not know you had one. not to mention this has got to be the weirdest way to start the next chapter of diary of a dorkette a reset button surprised no one thought of that from the start.

    1. Oh yeah, I was holding onto the Chris Gaida secret for awhile now. I was really excited to finally reveal that. I just recently got the Pythona figure. I had wanted to use her more earlier in this particular arc but she wasn't sent to me until later in May. Such a fun figure! A reset button certainly sounds nice huh? It is a slightly weird way, but keep reading, it won't be too far fetched. I hope you are doing well and thanks for always being here to read and comment!