Sunday, October 15, 2017

All My Toys: Meeting of Evil!

Dear Diary,

I have been a shitty friend. In my quest to help save the world as a super hero while keeping my public identity hidden as much as possible since the world still kinda hates me, I have neglected my friendships. Especially with my best friend and mentor April O'Neil. So it is a nail salon day! This should be a lot of fun!

-Miss M

All My Toys
Meeting of Evil!

Miss M: This is really nice. I can't tell you the last time I had my nails done.
April: I know. Things have been so busy at the office, I feel like I live there. My toes were looking like I could climb a tree.

Miss M: I heard everything was coming up roses for you all at the office.

April: They have. Chris Gaida has turned Diary of a Dorkette into a national treasure. Everyone reads his articles. (pauses) I am sorry. You don't hold a grudge at me do you?

Miss M: What for? For you firing me?

April: Duh. Come on now M. We haven't spoken to each other in months. We used to work together for years and then I fired you. I have just been putting the two together.

Miss M: Look it totally sucks that you fired me. I loved working there and interviewing Heroic Hotties and all that jazz. But once I created that whole post apocalyptic mess and the world hated me, I know your hands were tied. You did what you needed to do.
April: Ok, so why have you been such a dumb dumb and have ignored me? You are my best friend even though you can be such a little shit.

Miss M: I've just been through a lot April.

April: You can always turn to me.

Miss M: I know. It's just... I don't want to sound like a broken record but losing Yvie and then Bruce and I breaking up, it has been hard. I felt like for the first time I finally had everything. And now it is just gone.

April: You aren't a broken record. I will never understand your yearning to have a child but I do know that losing Yvie is something that will stick with you for a life time. I feel for you M. Ya know, I saw him. Bruce.

Miss M: You saw Bruce Wayne?

April: Yes. I was in Europe covering Batman's glam rock solo band thing and I tried to interview him. The world thinks he is losing his mind after all.

Miss M: Aren't we all?

April: Anyways, I did not get the chance to talk to him but I did see Bruce there. We talked for a little bit.
Miss M: About what?

April: About the presidency. Why the new weird Count Chocula has been the best president ever in a lot of people's minds.

Miss M: (looks sad) That was it? You two didn't talk about anything else?

April: (rolls her eyes) We did not talk about any of the President Chocula stuff. All he could do was ask about you. Since you and I weren't really talking I did not have much to say. M, it is clear that he still loves you.
Miss M: He has a funny way of showing it. He slept with Vickie Vale.

April: Sometimes people make bad decisions.
Miss M: April, I am not having this discussion. He hurt me and it will be for the last time.

April: Ok. Ok. Sore subject. Let's talk about something else. Like, whatever happened to Jaws 5?

Miss M: Don't even ask.

Meanwhile, in the Fright Zone.

Yvie: I'm hungry though.
Moth Lady: I know. But we can't sneak out to get food right now. Shadow Weaver told us there were important people arriving here today and that we had to keep a low profile. Do you know what any of that means?

Yvie: No. I'm just hungry.

Moth Lady: Little girl, it means we could be killed if we are caught hiding here.

Yvie: Why did you bring us here? I'm sooo hungry.

Moth Lady: Ok be quiet. Stop whining or the bats in the loft will hear you. And they will eat your lips and eyes.
Yvie: Eep!

Moth Lady: I want you to stay right here. I am going to find something. Ya know I could just summon some bugs here and that would solve everything.

Yvie: Eww no. The bugs are our friends. 'Member? You said.

Moth Lady: (smiles) You really are my daughter. Ok, I will be back soon.

Back in town...

Miss M: (smiles to herself) OMG! My nails are so cute.

Suddenly she hears her name called out by her former love Michelangelo!!!

Miss M: Oh crap. Just pretend he isn't there.

Miss M: (turns around and fakes a smile) Oh my goodness! I am so sorry. Oh. Hi Michelangelo.

Michelangelo: (brightens up) M! What a nice surprise.
Miss M: It has been awhile.
Michelangelo: I know it has. How have you been? You look gnarly!

Miss M: Thank you. I am well enough. You? How is Mona Lisa?
Michelangelo: Oh. Yeah. It has been awhile since we have seen each other. Sad news dudette. Mona Lisa and I are getting a divorce.

Miss M: Oh my. Really? I thought you two were so in love.

Michelangelo: I thought we were too. I tried all I could but she was bitchin mad and spittin hard truths about me. She believed I was still in love with someone else.

Miss M: Wow. Love with someone else? You certainly know how to find a new lady love don't you?

Michelangelo: No dudette, no one new. She thought I was still in love with you.
Miss M: Oh. I see.

Michelangelo: Crapola. I shouldn't be dropping this on you.

Miss M: Yeah you really shouldn't. I mean I came back from the After Life not once but twice. I struggled to get you to believe me when I was trapped in Moth Lady's body. And when I came back in my own body I freakin crashed your wedding to Mona Lisa hoping you would run off with me! I looked like a harlot! I am not a harlot!

Michelangelo: (sighs) I know.
Miss M: And now you are divorcing her? Because she thinks you might have feelings for me still? That is messed up!

Michelangelo: Chill out M. Why are you getting mad?

Miss M: Because! I loved you. And you picked her. And now you are unpicking her. That just seems so wrong! Everyone on this stupid planet just can't make good choices and I am just tired of it! I am tired of people making shitty choices!

Michelangelo: Dudette, you are gonna like have a stroke or something. Take a chill pill!

Miss M: Oh leave me alone! I need to go home. This is just all too much. Just too much!

Miss M rushes off as April walks up to Michelangelo.

Michelangelo: What just happened?

April: It's ok. She has just been through a lot. Come on, I haven't eaten yet. Wanna grab a slice with me?

Michelangelo: Sure. Like I'd say no to pizza.

April: Great. I'll explain more. It is gonna be awhile before she gets her footing again. It will be ok though. It always is.

Back at the Fright Zone...

Moth Lady: Ok, ok. Where in Hades do I find food in this dump? This is ridiculous.

Moth Lady: Shouldn't there be a cafeteria for all the Horde Troopers? What about the rest of the villainy? Where do they eat?

Moth Lady: (hears some chatter) What is going on over there?

Moth Lady: (gasps taking it all in) So much evil in one place. Shit.

Hordak: Welcome my dear fiends. (snorts) Glad you could all brave the gloomiest corners of the world to gather for this meeting of evil. Surprised to see the Grossery Gang here too. We have much to discuss. The Conference of Evil was in July and my vile Haggar will share some details.

Haggar: Yes Hordak. Numbers were slightly lower this year for the Conference of Evil. We have attributed this though to the overall sense of evil having a resurgence in popularity, what with Cobra's hands in the election as well as so many heroes finding themselves absent from the daily public as they are busy with their growing film careers. The public wants someone to root for. Evil has gone mainstream.

Hordak: (snorts) Explanations aside Haggar, we must all remember that the Conference of Evil brings in big bucks for our bottom line. Plans are being made to make sure next year's conference will be a smashing success, thanks to the help of our latest member, my new assistant Velvet Sky. Say hello to everyone.

Velvet Sky: Sup witches.

Magica De Spell: That better not have been referenced to me. Vhat is she doing here?

Mumm-Ra: Yess. I Mumm-Ra the ever living recall that this Velvet Sky nearly got you arrested Hordak!

Lex Luthor: This is true. You put a bounty out on her for the trouble she caused you. How can we now be expected to trust her?

Rita Repulsa: Hordak gathered us all here. Some of you would still be sitting in a bargain bin clearance rack and now look at you! Posing with us and creating a force of evil that can never be challenged.

Rita Repulsa: I know this walking wad of bubblegum knows what I am saying. He has a plan for us all and if it means Velvet Sky joins us, than she joins us.

Cobra Commander: We should be moving on from this nonsense. We have bigger things to discuss.

Hordak: Such as?

Cobra Commander: The true identity of President Chocula was almost in a snag thanks to the First Lady Shortcake. That berry sweet annoyance found out about Zartan parading around as her husband. She has since been locked into a dungeon but she will not be the only one to find out. There are a few people trying to find out how to stop President Chocula.

Cobra Commander: (points to the group) Which is why it is imperative for us to make sure secrets about the election are being kept under wraps. I need you all to find out information. We can't have any forces of good to mess this new world up for us.

Mumm-Ra: Excellent job with swapping out the real Count Chocula and masquerading your true intentions with the world. Is Count Chocula truly safe from being found?

Magica De Spell: Yes, I too vant to know about this. How is Count Chocula doing? I could completely find a good use for him that vould make it impossible for anyone to ever find him. Better than some dungeon.

Hordak: Count Chocula is fine. We had to melt him down into a Hershey's Kiss.

Magica De Spell: Lovely. I will take the real Chocula off your hands. I have some special requests that he could make come true for me. I am taking him for my own regardless of what you say.

Haggar: This is dangerous Hordak. If Magica takes Chocula out of his prison someone might see and the plans would be ruined.

Hordak: Someone could already see him in the prison he is currently in. It is fine. I trust Magica will keep Chocula hidden from the world. I know in her clutches he will never escape.
Magica De Spell: Thank you Hordak. I shall retrieve him now. (she magically disappears in a puff of smoke and bats)
Hordak: Now for our next order of business. We have a visitor. Someone from a local chapter of evil. She needs our help. Ah, here she is now...

Dodgey Donut: Woah. She looks fancy.
Putrid Pizza: Yeah, look at her cape. It is so flashy.
Dodgey Donut: Perfect for Halloween. (burps loudly releasing a flurry of sprinkles from his mouth like a confetti explosion)

Gooey Chewie: She is styled so supreme! Who is she?

Barbarocious: Thank you Hordak for allowing me a chance to speak. I am in dire need.

Hordak: Everyone, this is Barbarocious. Dark sorceress of the lower third quadrant of... (snorts) Well I have forgotten where you come from. What can we do for you today?

Barbarocious: My pet. My dear sweet special pet was taken from me. I need it returned from the woman that took her.

Hordak: Could you find a new pet? This seems like a rather mundane issue.
Cobra Commander: I agree with Hordak. We have greater things to worry about. Like taking over this country.

Barbarocious: You do not understand. My pet has supreme power. Untapped raw power. I have been going over and over in my brain at how my pet could go missing. After many scenarios played out in my brain I now know who took my pet.

Moth Lady: Oh crap. She knows I have Yvie. This is not good.

Barbarocious: It was this annoying dork girl. I am most certain of it. I need help destroying her. (a loud sigh can be heard in the background)

Velvet Sky: Did you say dork girl? You need help disposing of a dork girl? I have experience with that.

Hordak: Careful Velvet Sky. You may have killed a dork girl before but do not forget the fall out that happened after.

Velvet Sky: Regardless of the fall out my initial actions worked. I got rid of that dorky menace. I can help you Barbarocious. In fact I am already thinking of the perfect plan. Do you know this dork's name?

Barbarocious: Yes. I believe she calls herself Miss M...

Rita Repulsa: Miss M?! We are going after her again? This is a tired recycled plot line. Foolish.

Hordak: Silence Rita Repulsa! (snorts) This can work. We have killed her before and this time we will do it and it will stick. All in agreement that we devise a sinister plan to kill Miss M, again, and deliver this mystery pet back to Barbarocious? (everyone growls in approval)

Moth Lady: Damn it man. This is not good. Barbarocious isn't going to stop until she has Yvie.

Moments later...
Moth Lady: I got you the best food I could find. Now hurry up and eat.

Yvie: (slightly frightened) But... but... Why does the pizza have eyes and look so sad? All of this food has eyes. That is weird.

Moth Lady: Stop being such a picky child and eat your food. Hurry. After you're done we are leaving this place. It is no longer safe. A most foul evil is roaming these halls looking for you. And while the plot to destroy a huge nuisance will give us some time, eventually they will come right back to looking for you. I won't let that happen. Ever.

All Yvie can do is gulp in fear and then gulp in disgust as she takes a squishy bite of Putrid Pizza's head...

Up Next!

Miss M visits her counselor's office!
Velvet Sky starts her plan to kill Miss M! (again)


  1. Always great to see the villains play together! Its especially fun to see the Magica De Spell Funko and how they interest such varied characteristics onto a deductively styled figure.

    Have a Happy Halloween M!

    1. I love when the villains all get together! I am completely obsessed with the Magica De Spell figure. I would like to have a Magica that looks more cartoon accurate but this Pop version will do. I hope you have a Happy Halloween season too Erik!

  2. nice to see the bad guys never learn from their mistakes like the last time they killed toy miss m they are all setting themselves up for trouble not to mention odds are magic de spell is going to betray some one any way with her plans for chocula. have a happy halloween miss m.