Friday, October 27, 2017

All My Toys: Talk is Cheap

Dear Diary,

It has come to my attention that there is something I have been neglecting to share about myself. Nothing too shocking or anything, but something that has been of great help. I have been in therapy. The last few years have been quite hectic. From dying and coming back to life, to losing at love, losing a child and creating this whole alternate world that was in post apocalyptic ruin... and also having a super secret heroic identity! I mean! Come on Diary! This is a lot to deal with. However I have greatly appreciated my therapist. She is being with me at a time where I need all the help I can get. So, let's see what this week's session holds!

Miss M

All My Toys:
Talk is Cheap

Miss M: I am really proud of myself. Those ideas of how I want to improve my life have been falling into place.

Deanna Troi: Is that so? In what ways?

Miss M: Well I finally met up with April and we went to the nail salon. It was nice to see her.
Deanna Troi: I remember you telling me that you were harboring some resentment towards her for firing you. Did you two get to talk about that?

Miss M: No. I did not. It was just so good to see her and she did ask about it but I just wanted to let the past go. Ya know?

Deanna Troi: That makes sense. I am glad to hear you had a nice experience with her. What else are you proud of?

Miss M: I have been getting better sleep. I have deleted all my dating apps so I am not staying up late at night trying to swipe my Prince Charming. (editor's note: that is a lie)

Deanna Troi: Ok. Does this new direction create an effect that is different from one of your original hopes for finding love?

Miss M: I guess it could. I don't know. I have been thinking about love a lot lately. Especially after I saw Michelangelo after the trip to the nail salon.

Deanna Troi: Oh, refresh my memory. Which one was this?

Miss M: He was the ninja turtle. When I died and came back for a brief time in Moth Lady's body I tried to reunite with him. We had feelings but he thought I was crazy and eventually moved on. Once returned to my body I crashed his wedding hoping he would pick me. It was horrible.

Deanna Troi: Help me understand something, did you say ninja turtle?
Miss M: Oh yes I did. In case you were wondering our love was not bestiality. He could talk and walk. He's a ninja and has even saved the world. He also really loves pizza.

Deanna Troi: Right. Very fascinating...

Meanwhile in a dungeon...

Strawberry Shortcake: Oh Count Chocula, my dear semi sweet husband, what have they done to you? Why won't you talk to me?

Count Chocula: (silence)

Strawberry Shortcake: Is it because they melted you down and you lost your will to speak? Talk to me. I love you so much.

Count Chocula: We're gonna die in here.

Strawberry Shortcake: Huh my sweet?

Count Chocula: We're gonna die in here.

Strawberry Shortcake: Well that is not a berry nice thing to say! We can't die in here!


Magica De Spell: Vhat is this? Vhat have they done to the Count?

Strawberry Shortcake: Who are you?

Magica De Spell: Quiet smelly girl. I've come for Count Chocula.

Strawberry Shortcake: What for?! What do you want with my husband?

Magica De Spell: Ha! He vill be my husband now.

Strawberry Shortcake: Excuse me? Back off my man bitch!

Magica De Spell: Count Chocula and I go vay back. I vant to take him far from this place.

Strawberry Shortcake: Over my berry dead body!

Magica De Spell: That can be arranged.

The two enter into Mortal Kombat!

Magica De Spell: (drags her by the hair) Now for the finishing move! (tosses her across the room)

Strawberry Shortcake: Go on. Do it. Kill me now. That will be better than the hell I am in!

Magica De Spell: Is that so? Vell my dear, I must take your heart out the best vay possible. Sit back as I take your precious Count Chocula for my own!

Strawberry Shortcake: Count Chocula! Do something!

Magica De Spell laughs in glee as she flies off with Count Chocula as Strawberry Shortcake tries to catch them.

Strawberry Shortcake: I am all alone now.

Strawberry Shortcake: I am going to die in here alone. Someone help me!!

Back across town...

Deanna Troi: So if I heard you correctly, you are giving up on love? That was something that seemed very important to you when you first started coming here.

Miss M: I know. It was. However I have begun realizing that not everyone is maybe meant to be with someone. I think I am becoming comfortable being the kind of woman that is just not meant to have some loving and caring man in her life. Or a family.

Deanna Troi: And this is all due to the ninja turtle?

Miss M: Well partly. I mean he never trusted me or believed me when I came back from the dead in Moth Lady's body. Then there was Ed who was basically a ghost and I have not seen him in ages. Don't even get me started on Bruce Wayne. He cheated on me!

Deanna Troi: You were involved with Bruce Wayne? The bachelor socialite? How did that come about?

Miss M: Ok. So like everything in here is confidential right?
Deanna Troi: Yes with exception, like child or elderly abuse.

Miss M: Ok well Bruce Wayne is Batman. And when I was in Moth Lady's body I wanted to end my life and he swooped in to save me and we became friends and eventual lovers.

Deanna Troi: That sounds like quite the experience.

Miss M: It really was.

Deanna Troi: I just noticed the time. Our session is almost up. Would you like to come back next week? Same time?

Miss M: Of course. I get a lot out of these sessions.

Deanna Troi: Wonderful. Next week it is.

In the Fright Zone...

Triple H: Ok Velvet Sky. I got your message.

Velvet Sky: I am so glad you found your way here safely.

Triple H: What do you want?

Velvet Sky: I want what is owed to me.

Triple H: I owe you nothing.

Velvet Sky: You owe me plenty! You damn fool! I could have been one of the biggest wrestling superstars in the history of wrestling. You and that rich family you married into couldn't give me a break, and after all I did for you! Introducing you to your rich wife. You should be thanking me every single day for my generosity.

Triple H: Can it Velvet Sky. You're nothing but a washed up nobody with no career.

Velvet Sky: You could have helped. You still can actually.

Triple H: Like I would ever help you.

Velvet Sky: Oh you are going to help me. See you had a hand in my failed career but there was that dreadful dork woman named Miss M. Once she wrote that article about me for Diary of a Dorkette nothing could be salvaged of my wrestling appearances. Nothing.

Triple H: I know about that. You killed her didn't you?

Velvet Sky: Yes and much like roaches and Cher, this dork Miss M just keeps coming back.

Triple H: (gate quietly opens up behind him) So what? You thought you would ask me to help in homicide? Forget it.

Velvet Sky: I figured you would say that so I brought some reinforcements to persuade you better.

Triple H: What is this bullshit? I'm not scared of some Halloween gag.

Velvet Sky: Oh I assure you Triple H, this is not a gag. He may always look dead, but this time the Undertaker is indeed very dead. We might need a gag though to muffle your screams once your colleagues begin to take a bite.

Triple H: Come on! I'll fight you all!

Velvet Sky: That only makes their hunger heightened and they are very hungry. All right Wrestle Walkers! It's dinner time.

Triple H: Stay away from me. Get off me!

Velvet Sky: Don't be scared Triple H! Embrace your new role! Once they are done with you, you will be the King of the Wrestle Walkers. HahahHAHahAHahahaha!!!

Velvet Sky can only laugh in evil as Triple H is torn apart...

 Velvet Sky: Very good. Now, let's see what you have all built...

Velvet Sky: Your goal will be simple, find Miss M and eat her brains for breakfast!

Back at Deanna Troi's office...

Deanna Troi: (speaking her case note into a recorder) Client M continues to share stories that seem outrageous and have caused me to question Client M's own ability to determine what is reality and what is fantasy. Areas to check for next week's session include her ability to function properly in society as well as this job as a super hero. Other concerns addressed in the session involved her job as a super hero trying to overthrow the government because as Client M reported, "Cobra rigged the election and President Chocula is not actually the real Count Chocula." Keeping my own curiosity open to what she says, I have not ruled out a potential mental health warrant should Client M show any more signs of unstable experiences that could lead to any dangerous acts against any government officials or the public in general.

Deanna Troi: (pauses) If need be make a reminder to call Arkham Asylum and find out the process for admission. I don't know that Client M is a danger to others, or herself, however I want to make sure I have everything covered...

Up Next!
It's Halloween!


  1. I love the obsessions people have and yours in a labor of love.

    1. Why thank you Cal! It is a labor of love for sure!

  2. oh oh looks like toy miss m may have to shop for a a new therapist and velvet sky really is one nasty piece of work. zombie wrestlers under her command. plus magica is going to learn the hard way about stealing strawberry's man when no doubt thanks to help from a certain female hero strawberry gets freed

    1. Strawberry does need to be freed that is true! She is in danger! I hope her story arc will be a fun one.

  3. I know you are in therapy and I HOPE you are a true psycho in real life! And one day, I look out the window and see a car with a Texas license plate! Then I open the door and I see a girl, looking all psychotic, dressed like CATRA!! And I gulp and say, "Umm, hello!? And you are?" And then you say , "You know who am." Grab me and take me upstairs. You say, "You wanted to marry me!? Well then, LETS DO IT!!" You look at my toy collection and say , "Although , looking at these toys, maybe I should marry someone else , you have nothing compared to me!" Then I say, "I may not have as many toys as you Miss M but I AM PREPARED TO MARRY YOU!" (I run out and back into the room dressed like Sea Hawk and give you a She-Ra costume) "You don't have to be a Catra mean girl to make me wanna marry you!" ( You smile and get all gooshy and then you dress up like She-Ra and we get married, with a whole bunch of people dressed liked MOTU characters (There will be a guy dressed like Rattlor and a guy dressed like SQUEEEZE! That will be hard to do but it will look cool!) and pandas dancing around!-is that not the best marriage story EVER!?

  4. Sorry, M! That last comment I made was a part of a fantasy I had about us! ( The FULL fantasy involved a LOT more of us having super steamy hot sexy sex!) Now,in other news, I need to catch up on all the posts you've recently written!

    1. You are so funny. I love your marriage fantasy. The pandas would totally have to be there. I think being in a She-Ra dress would be a perfect outfit for a bride to be! For sure! I appreciate your colorful comments. They always make me smile.

  5. Creative activities like art or writing or performance pieces can be great ways to express your own passions or anxieties in a way that doesn't always come through with traditional communication, so it's amusing you see your character undergo literal therapy when I imagine some of your stories feel like a form of therapy on their own.
    That and it is also a good way to recap the series so far.

    Given all the bizarre cases that Counselor Troi has listened to over the years I do hope Miss M isn't offended that Deanna didn't bat an eye during this session. (Though it appears she may just be putting on a professional demeanor)

    I'm reminded of just how much I do enjoy your multi-franchise crossover and the juggling act it must be with such a diverse cast of characters. You remind me a lot of Charlotte Fullerton who started out answering phones at Warner Bros in the 90s and during that time would contribute copy for interstitial commercials that were read by show's actors. This taught her how to write for a variety of different character voices and now she is a professional writer regularly contribution to cartoons like Ben 10 and My Little Pony among others.

    Start small and dream big!

    Up next: Halloween!
    Now that I've finished my season at the Halloween theme park I'm finally starting to get in the seasonal spirit... Just hours before it's over. Oh well, maybe if I'm lucky I can find a good scary movie on TV before midnight.

    Sounds like your own toy version of Halloween may be matching schedules with my own belated mind so I will look forward to that. There are few things I find more fun than seeing pop culture character dress up as completely different characters in Halloween specials so I'm sure I will see plenty of that in time!

    1. I am always trying to come up with creative ways to recap the story. I try to create different voices for the toys. I am not sure how great I am at the but I am always thinking of that.

      I am glad to hear you have been getting into the seasonal spirit! That is really good. I hope you have been doing well and I will talk to you more soon!