Saturday, June 3, 2023

All My Toys: The Final Episode

Dear Diary,

Well. After a decade it's all come down to this. My final entry. And as usual, the fate of the universe hangs in the balance. Could this life be anymore dramatic? It actually probably could. I guess it's time to peel that bandaid back and see what happens next.

Oh, and thank you. All of you.


Evil-Lyn: Well, well, well, what is this? Did I miss the invite to the tea party?

Sorceress: (flaps her wings open in defense) You are not welcome here Evil-Lyn! This is a matter that does not concern you.

Evil-Lyn: After everything I've been through, this most certainly does. I've heard all I need to. Do you really think you can get the answers and life you want here? Hmm Moth Lady? She can't help you, but I can.

Sorceress: Moth Lady, do not listen to her.
Moth Lady: What are you doing here?

Sorceress: Pay no attention to her. Leave Grayskull. Now.

Evil-Lyn: Or what? What ever shall you do to me, dear Sorceress? (zaps a beam of pure chaos magic towards the Sorceress! Check out those effects!)

Sorceress: Ack! (Blink and you'll miss those razzle dazzle effects!)

Moth Lady: Umm. What is happening?

Evil-Lyn: You're getting a second chance. I've fought so many years to be my own woman. Out of the shadow of Skeleton. Jake the Snake Roberts. Ya know, Maleficent had it right when she tried to change the world. A pity her plans fell flat. But I can finish what she started. I just need a wish. Hope. Light amidst the darkness.

Moth Lady: A wish? You're a genie now? 
Evil-Lyn: No. But I do have power, magic that can change everything. Give you what you've always wanted. The love you lost.

Evil-Lyn: Wild One. I can bring you to her. You can fulfill your dreams. There's just one thing. The world will be rewritten. A proper do-over. It's been tried before but never stuck. It can now. Just say yes. Say yes and it'll all just be a soap opera.


Flash forward to March 2023! (When this post was originally meant to be posted!)
Miss M: Please, Evil-Lyn, it doesn't have to be this way! Where is Moth Lady? And how do we make the world right again?
Bruce: M, there's no pleading with her. We need to fall on Plan B.

Evil-Lyn: Oh you rich men and your contingency plans. Don't you see? We've got our very own little House of M happening don't we? Moth Lady is gone, off to worlds far away. She can't stop this. No one can.

Evil-Lyn charges her magic!

Evil-Lyn: I'll admit, I didn't think either of you would figure it out. I thought I had created the perfect veil over your memories. But you just couldn't help yourselves.

Evil-Lyn: Everything was set to be perfect. All of it. I control the world in my own image and then the universe. It's the most delicious secret that only I was to be aware of. 

Evil-Lyn: Now, let's shake this story up. See how Miss M really feels about her Bat Man. (Evil-Lyn fires a cosmic flame directly at Bruce's chest!)

Miss M: Evil-Lyn! Please! Oh my god Bruce!

Miss M: Bruce?! Are you ok? Please tell me you are ok. I can't lose you!
Bruce: Ugh, hell that hurt.
Miss M: Bruce, hold on, I'm gonna get you out of here. Evil-Lyn! What do you want?! Find a way to stop this, please! People are realizing your secret and what you've done! The veil is lifting. Then what will you have?

Evil-Lyn: That's impossible. The wish was made! How could it be undone? The world is as I chose it to be!

Miss M: I don't know, but we're figuring it out. We're realizing it. Moth Lady knew. Glitter returned and she knew. Yvie knew. It took me a moment, but I remembered.
Bruce: And I realized it too.
Miss M: Oh Bruce, don't move. Please.

Evil-Lyn: Ugh. It was love wasn't it? I can see it emanating off the two of you like starry waves in the galaxy. It's disgusting. I know what I must do. You thought this would end in a fight. A battle of might and glory that rattles the heavens. Let's make this easy. Which life do you want Miss M? You've got so many to choose from. There's the life before, the life now, and the real. That real world you always try to escape from. There it is, that fear in your eyes. Very well. I'll give you what your heart desires most.

Evil-Lyn vaporizes into thin air and stardust!

Miss M: What the actual hell was that? She's just gone now? She wreaked havoc on us for months, and it's all over?
Bruce: Works for me. Hopefully we can catch a break from any other magical beings altering the world. We could use a break.
Miss M: Bruce? What do you think she meant by, like, love being all over us? That sounded kinda grody right?
Bruce: M, you know what she meant...

Sorceress: By the goddess, we've been in a fog. Where did Evil-Lyn go?

Miss M: She disappeared into thin air. But before she did, she brought us back to the way it was before. Our lives are normal. People are going to be remembering. 
Bruce: Yes. Which is why we need to leave. Yvie.
Miss M: Oh my goodness. Yvie. She's with people that are going to remember they aren't her parents. Glitter, can you teleport us to our daughter?

Glitter: Yes. I am gathering the coordinates now. It's really nice to see the two of you. Also, I'm picking up a signal. Wonder Woman and a slew of other heroes have located Evil-Lyn trying to leave the planet. They'll be bringing her back to pay for her crimes.

Miss M: Thank goodness someone else is dealing with that mess.
Bruce: Yes. Come on, let's go.
Miss M: That's right. Bruce, how is it possible?
Bruce: I don't know. But when we find Moth Lady, we'll try to figure out how all three of us are Yvie's parents. Let's just focus on getting to our girl.
Miss M: Yes. Ok.
Glitter: Ok, ready? Steady? Go!

Sorceress: Oh. What an end to this crazy debacle. They'll try to stop her, but fail. The world isn't what it once was. I can do my part though. To make it as familiar as I can. To bring magic with me and share that wherever I go. Well. What happens next?

The (near) future

Miss M: It's funny. Life found a way to return to a new normal once everyone realized that they had been totally living a soap opera life and not starring in one. So much unfolded, and so quickly! Mila and Garrett took their friendship and shared grief over Sydney to a more personal level and fell in love, which eventually led to a lavish wedding that could only happen in Swans Crossing.

Miss M: Gotta love a surprise guest at a wedding. Especially when said guest was thought dead.

Miss M: So apparently Sydney was in a coma in the same Swiss clinic that Ed was healing in. There was some evil organization running the clinic, they lied and said Sydney was dead so they could run experiments on her. Ed helped save her and they came back, though the timing was not the best. I'm sure this love triangle will sort itself out. Anyways, let's see what happened to some of the other toys...

Miss M: Oh yes. That secret that Quick Charge had been keeping from Winston. It nearly destroyed them. I mean she was murdering men who had been killing trans women and getting away with it, so while a dose of justice is always appreciated, the murder part was a little bit of a problem. Especially when she started getting haunted by the ghosts of the dead dudes. Crazy story! You had to have been there.

Miss M: But, if you're trying to deal with ghosts, who better to have in your corner than a Ghostbuster. Right? They're gonna make it.

Miss M: I never thought that Billy and Sulu would have just stayed in space. The occasional visits are nice. I miss the heck out of them though. They were shocked, I mean shocked, when they came to Earth for a visit and learned about what Evil-Lyn had done.

Miss M: Oh how overjoyed Brian was when Glitter made a miraculous return. Such a cute family. That kid loves his movies, I'm tellin' ya.

Miss M: After being hostages by Mojo and then escaping to Dimension X, Oolah and Finn found themselves stuck with April's dad getting sucked up into organized crime in space at the hands of Mon*Star. Eventually they found freedom by way of the SilverHawks. Seeing how so many lives were in danger throughout the universe, Oolah created a heroic team consisting of He-Man and some chick from the '90s and together they fought intergalactic crime and I dunno, some third rate Guardians of the Galaxy shit. They send letters every now and then of their exploits. 

Miss M: Oh this one hit hard. Ed was disfigured from that whole magic cloud thing a couple years back. He was recuperating in that Swiss clinic I mentioned earlier, and when he returned with Sydney, it was like something snapped. He started talking like Bane and he became evil. Turns out there was a device implanted into his skull by the mystery evil people running the clinic that was causing him to be a total evil douche bag. In order to stop him he had to trigger the detonation button exploding his brain into a warm pool of mushy goo. 

Miss M: He soon found himself returning to the After Life, kinda picking back up where he left off all those years ago.

Miss M: Oh Ed. Until we meet again.

Miss M: Finn finally found his way back to Rose.  

Miss M: No word yet on if he told her about the whole dating show we were on in Mojoworld. Kinda hoping not. That might make for some awkward meetings if I ever find myself in space again.

Miss M: I think out of everyone, Velvet Sky got the biggest glow up. From my vicious character assassination attempt on her life to her mayhem and murder of me to Sky eventually delivering the greatest performance of her wrestling career, she totally nailed it. Happy for her.

Miss M: Ohhh my girls. I love how they kept to their word and created their own coven. Berry cool.

Miss M: Ok, so here's the deal. Wonder Woman tried to get Evil-Lyn to pay for her crimes, but the wicked warrior goddess escaped. Which had Skeleton resorting to making deals he had no business making in order to find Evil-Lyn. I think he kinda loves her. It's kinda sweet and creepy at the same time.

Miss M: I am pretty sure the three of them together spells a whole lotta trouble.

Miss M: After everything that happened, April decided to finally join forces with Megan Fox and continue running Diary of a Dorkette together. Hopefully they can keep their beef squashed.

Miss M: Oh! And with the escape from the space mob, April's dad returned and was able to properly reconnect with April. Oh happy day!

Miss M: Else where, Moth Lady was on a journey of personal discovery...

Miss M: And a thirst for power...

Miss M: And a second chance at true love.

Miss M: And then there was me and my family. I moved in with Bruce to help with raising Yvie. We finally decided to stop being silly. Though there seemed to be a continued will-they-or-won't-they thing between me and Bruce. Most importantly was making sure we could be there for Yvie. That sweet kid has been through so much. We still weren't entirely sure about the biological ties that bind but in terms of how she was conceived, I'd say it kinda makes sense with her having those super powers. Thankful I'm friends with the X-Men so we've got it all covered.

Miss M: Ouch. Gotta love when kids ask the hard hitting questions.

Miss M: Bruce does love all the stories. He likes to joke that I almost reunited with Dick Tracy before Evil-Lyn messed everything up. It would have gotten super awkward since Dick had come to town to arrest my dad, Al "Big Boy" Caprice. Come to think of it, I don't know what ended up happening to Dick Tracy. Hmm....

Miss M: Dang this kid. Always with the questions.

Miss M: Oh Alfred. We miss you so.

Miss M: Way to go Bruce.

Miss M: Did I just say what I think I just said?!

Miss M: Wait, this is really happening...

Miss M: What the heck is he gonna tell me?

Miss M: I... Wait a second...

Miss M: Well. I guess some would say it's about damn time.

Miss M: That poor dog. I'm always forgetting about him.

Miss M: Well, that's a wrap. I gotta say, it has been such an enjoyable experience to live these stories and make the friends I have throughout these years. I am so thankful that I have all these wonderful memories. And the story is not over, it's just a pause, because life is gonna keep going. So have fun. Be silly. Tell stories. Play with your toys! 

Until next time. (hugs to you all) 


  1. Well, time for my 2nd social media comment. Well done, it's been an enjoyable 22 years of stories and life experiences from iknowsomething through dorkette. Will miss this, best wishes and stay Gold.

    1. Well thank you very much for this lovely comment! The blog is not over with, just the toy soap opera. 2022 was a bit rough on me so I couldn't keep up with the toy soap, but, there will be more posts soon. Back to more personal roots.