Miss M and Winston make their way to the Nostalgia Graveyard! What will be lurking for them there? Click the link to find out!
Billy: It's great. You don't need to thank me by the way. Your mom is sick and Layla is a joy to watch. I'm happy to help. Besides, from what you said when you came home last night, you'll be leaving Club Ritz soon?
Glo: I'm thinking so. Breathless, that singer I've been telling you about, I feel like a big sister to her. She's about to leave, she's got a rich fiance that is getting her set up with her very own night club in the Sunlands.
Billy: Must be nice.
Billy: And then what?
Glo: I'll look for other work, but my next step is directly going to our friend and telling her about her father doubling as a kingpin.
Billy: How do you think M will react?
Glo: Thank you. I feel terrible, it has been a challenge keeping this from her. But now that there is a way out, I feel relief that she'll know soon.
Billy: If it helps, she has been a little consumed lately.
Glo: I know, thanks to Vash and this Bloglin award dangling over her head. I believe in M, and want her to get nominated, but Vash is up to something.
Billy: It's Vash. She's always up to something.
Across town at a secret location...
MAL: You require too much out of me. It's power draining.
MAL: Gasp! That's jolted me to my senses.
Vash: I have you hacked into every security camera in this city, is she there yet?
MAL: According to my data, she should be arriving soon.
Vash: Wonderful. By the stars of Orion, let's hope she finds it. Good job finding the address and imputing it into that computer we gave her. Otherwise this tale would have dragged on for weeks.
On the outskirts of town there is a hidden place that only select people are able to find. Inside exists what some might consider trash while others view as beloved items of yore. Once you step in, you'll never want to leave. For some, there actually is no leaving, it's a whole Twilight Zone Tales From the Crypt thing. Seriously. But most people can leave. Honest. Either way, here we are, ladies and gentlemen, boils and ghouls, the theys that slay, the Nostalgia Graveyard awaits...
Miss M: Oh. My. Gawd. Look!
Winston: He looks to be in a hurry, maybe next time?
Winston: Ok. Not exactly what I had in mind, but I will trust you know what is best.
Winston: It's the Nostalgia Graveyard...
Winston: Mmhmm. Umm. So we just slide down?
Miss M: I guess?
Winston: I thought the Pizzarias would be enough to get Dino Drac's attention?
Miss M: Oh, the Head and Shoulders bottle and Tab can would be for me. I mean, this doesn't have to be all work. Anything you might want to find?
Miss M: Suit yourself. So, I guess we just dive right in? Oh Cheez Balls. Nice.
???: M? Winston?
Miss M: Wait. That voice!
Brian: Hey.
Brian: (chuckles) I've been good!
Winston: Wow, it's been a long time.
Miss M: Is Glitter here? How is the robo-baby?
Brian: Everyone is great! They're back home. I'm just here rummaging.
Brian: I do. Though I'm dressed like this because of the graveyard. If you look like you mean business people tend to leave you alone. It can get cutthroat here. But yeah, I look around for items and then sell them in my store, it's a pop up store I take from town to town.
Miss M: Oh yeah! 'Pop! Pop! It's Trash Culture.' I saw something about that a while ago.
Brian: Yeah, that's me. Come on, let's go digging and you can tell me what you two are doing here. Oh, you just missed Derek by the way.
Miss M: Dang.
Brian: It's really good to see you two. How's Sarah?
Winston: Sarah is away right now. She's working on opening Trans Shelters across the country with a non-profit.
Brian: That's great. And M, you've been doing ok since everything with Bruce?
Miss M: Oh yeah. I'm great! Couldn't be better.
Brian: Cool.
Winston: Man. This place is kinda weird. You think ghosts live here?
Winston: I feel like there could be some ghosts.
Miss M: Ok so basically Vash came back into my life with news that the voting academy for the Bloglins is ending the awards show this year and they want to be able to nominate me for something if I can deliver an award winning piece from Diary of a Dorkette. Well, she thinks I can win and basically wants to help me to make up for her giving my Spectra collection away. And like I dunno, there's 6 or so bloggers all vying for the chance to interview Dino Drac as that would be hard hitting toy journalism for anyone. So, some mass of slime called Slop told me that if I wanted a chance, Dino Drac would seriously consider an interview if someone could procure an old bag of Pizzarias. It's kinda like a way of showing how serious this all is. So, that's what I've been doing. Trying to track down a bag of Pizzarias with the hopes that it'll prove I'm a serious journalist and that Dino Drac will be interested in sitting down for a true blue interview that will hopefully garner me a Bloglin nomination. If I win, that will just be the cherry on top.
Brian: Hmm. I didn't realize the Bloglins were ending after this year.
Winston: Umm, guys? I feel something. There is paranormal activity going on in this graveyard.
Winston: Hey M look! Oh, never mind, I thought I saw a can of Tab.
Miss M: Brian, do you remember that time you saved me in that alternate reality and as a result your house blew up?
Winston: Any luck finding anything?
Miss M: (distracted) Hmm. I wonder where this trash bridge leads to. Oh yeah, Dick Tracy. We dated back in college. He takes me to this cool diner all the time. He's fun. Things have been a little weird lately, but he's a detective.
Miss M: Ok, my Spidey senses are tingling, I just know some Pizzarias have to be here. Oh, an old VHS tape! Brian look! I wonder what's on it?!
Ghost: Psp psp. HeEelp me.
Brian: M! Be careful up there! You could...
Brian:...fall.
Miss M: I'm ok! I landed on some peanuts!
Miss M: Wait. What?!
Miss M: Is it? Could it? Please be real!
In her mind Miss M hears the familiar musical score from a specific scene in She-Ra Princess of Power Season 2 Episode 13 where He-Man thinks Frosta is harmed only she is luring him into a trap. That chain of sounds when Frosta's eyes open and goes in for an embrace with He-Man, this is what chimes through M's head as she realizes with a great big sigh of relief...
Miss M: What? No. No. What? That bag is mine!
Stinkor: (breathes heavily) Grrr.
Miss M: Oh don't you "grrr" me Buster Keaton! Give that bag to me now! I saw it first! Those are my Pizzarias!
Miss M: Oh you beast! You big strong smelly frickin beast!
Stinkor: Stinkor take Pizzarias now. (sneers) Stinkor very stronc.
Winston: M, I think we need to let this go and look for another bag.
Brian: Winston's right. This is getting dicey man. We have other corners we can be searching.
Miss M: No. I refuse! I'm not letting some overgrown skunk man get the better of me. I've been having to deal with so much crap for the last number of years, and I refuse! I just refuse! Now give me those Pizzarias or frickin else!!!
Miss M: (rolls eyes and stomps her left foot) Dang it! Come on Stinkor. I need that bag!
Stinkor: Argh! Stinkor want tasty pizza flavored chips. Stinkor want them real bad!
Miss M: Listen dude. Those are old. Like really old. No way in Eternos that those are going to taste good. I have at least three other newer pizza flavored chips that you'd probably like more. Honest. I can give them to you. I'll even throw in some Retro Sours. The Raspberry flavor is mouthwatering. Please. I really need that bag.
Miss M: Wait! Don't do that!
Stinkor inhales the entire vintage bag of Pizzarias.
Stinkor: Pizzarias have become one with Stinkor now. (snorts before burping)
Winston: Did he? He just ate that old bag of chips right? We all saw that right? Jesus.
Miss M: (screams) You blasted fool! You wretched smelling louse! I was so close!
Miss M: (lip quivers) I was so close. The bag was right there. Winston. I had it.
Miss M: Yeah. I think I wanna go home now. I'm tired. And I think Stinkor sprayed me. I smell like patchouli now. Mixed with other scents isn't so bad, by itself, not really my jam. Yeah. I'm ready to call it a day.
Winston: I'm sorry.
Brian: Hey, it'll be ok. You stood up to Stinkor. Not many can probably say that.
Winston: So, Brian, how do we get out of here?
Miss M: Yes. Say yes. It'll be so much fun.
Brian: Maybe next time. I do need to get back home. Glitter will be wondering where I am.
Miss M: Oh, and Brian? This was perfect. It's been way too long, we need to get together more often. I mean that.
Brian: Yes. I'd like that a lot. And hey, next time we get together, we're checking out what's on that VHS you found before you fell. I managed to grab it.
Miss M: Yes! Brian! That sounds perfect. I hope you have a nice rest of the day. I'll see ya later.
Brian has left the party. For now. But he'll return soon.
Miss M: Well. Shall we?
Miss M: Winston, I really just yelled a lot.
Winston: No. This is important to you and you were going to stand up for yourself and a bag of old chips from the '90s no matter what. You waded through all that garbage in a skirt too. You're tough stuff.
MAL: Mistress Vash. The dork girl was spotted on security camera leaving the Nostalgia Graveyard.
Miss M: Thanks for meeting us for pizza. I know I smell, it's been a day. But, I can take a shower real quick and then we can get cozy on my new couch.
Dick Tracy: Oh yeah. It's just, all this talk of searching for Pizzarias and buying all these new items, I was just worried about you.
Miss M: Umm, ok. I'm perfectly fine. I'm not experiencing some wild mania or something. But if we're going to talk about things being off, what's been going on with you? Ever since that dinner with my dad, you've just been different. Have I done something wrong?
Miss M: (pauses in the silence and plops on her couch) Wow. I guess there is something wrong after that pause. Dang. Do you want to break up with me?
Dick Tracy: No. Not at all. I'm just dealing with a lot M. Work is really challenging right now. And I just worry about you. It just seems like things are different with you too.
Dick Tracy: I mean, what are you going to do with this big computer? It just seems like there's a lot happening for you right now.
Miss M: (snaps) I mean Dick, you don't live with me so it's really not your concern what I do with that ugly computer. It's helping me right now.
Miss M: I'm in the process of getting to a place in my career that could be life changing for me.
"...Calling Dick Tracy! Strike Out is stealing nachos from kids at the Ball Park!"
Dick Tracy: Damn it.
Miss M: I know. You gotta go. Duty calls.
Dick Tracy: Look, I have not been myself. I am really in a difficult place right now and I want to tell you, but, it's not easy. Can you be patient with me? I'm sorry for sounding like...
Brian: So wait, why are you wanting to offer something to Dino Drac?
Miss M: Yeah, I know. It's sad. You were nominated once right?
Brian: Yeah, number of years ago. Didn't win, but it's whatever. I've got all-access to the Nostalgia Graveyard, so I'm good. But Dino Drac. Wow. That would be cool to talk to him. I hear he has the sickest Halloween collection. Some even say he has the actual remains of Dracula in a coffin in his basement, and that in 2075, he'll resurrect him.
Miss M: Yeah, he sounds like a good time. To be honest, I'm kinda hoping I get to interview him regardless if I get nominated or not, he just seems so cool.
Brian: Yeah.
Miss M: I don't think I ever apologized to you for that.
Brian: Pretty sure you did. Wasn't your fault though. That goes to Cobra.
Brian: I will admit, it seems a little barren today.
Miss M: It's ok. The day is still young. I know there will be some Pizzarias somewhere.
Brian: Wait, did you say you are dating Dick Tracy?
Brian: Yeah, he's pretty cool. There's a true crime podcast I listen to and he was on an episode once.
Miss M: (distracted) Oh yeah, he loves talking about crime and fighting crime, he just wants to make sure there is no more crime.
Winston: Bwah!
Miss M: Eep!
Miss M: Pizzarias! (Editor's Note, clearly this is not a real bag of Pizzarias, the world has not been blessed with a toy replica of Pizzarias. Just go with it.)
Suddenly...
Cue that other score from the She-Ra (and He-Man) cartoon, the sounds signaling the arrival of evil!
Something smells funky as the mystery reveals himself to be: Stinkor!
Stinkor: Grrr.
Miss M: Grrr!! Right back at you!
Stinkor: Eh. Stinkor says (dramatic pause) no.
Stinkor: Stinkor leave now.
Winston: I know. Are you done?
Miss M: It's ok. We got to see Brian, so that's all the win I need.
Miss M: He actually doesn't smell as bad as I thought. I was thinking for sure he'd smell like a fart.
Brian: Well, it's quite tricky...
Three hours later...
Miss M: I didn't think we'd ever get out of there. Brian, you truly saved us today.
Brian: It takes some getting used to, but the Nostalgia Graveyard is pretty user friendly after a while.
Winston: Wanna get some pizza with us?
Winston: Yeah!
Miss M: Please tell Glitter I said hi.
Brian: You got it. Bye Miss M. Bye Winston.
Winston: Yes, but before we do, you kicked butt back there.
Miss M: Yeah. My legs feel really gross. Next time I'm borrowing one of your jumpsuits.
Winston: Come on. Wanna see if anyone else can meet up with us?
Miss M: Sure. Thanks for being here Winston. Man, it was really good seeing Brian right?
Winston: It totally was.
Back to Vash!
Vash: Did she have the bag?
MAL: Negative. It would appear her traipsing through garbage was for nought.
Vash: Damn her. This is so simple. I don't understand why she can't find a bag of chips. And why does she even need this? I don't understand this plot.
MAL: Well Mistress Vash, we have discussed this, Pizzarias were discontinued and are strongly beloved decades later...
Vash: (cuts MAL off) I don't care. You know what I care about.
MAL: Yes. If she can't locate a bag soon, there are other methods we can rely on.
Vash: Oh? I'm listening.
Later on, Miss M's apartment...
Dick Tracy: Yeah. (looks around at everything) It looks like you've got more and more stuff in here. Aren't you worried about running out of space?
Miss M: No. It's cramped right now, but I told you already, I'm planning to rent the space next to me to make my living area bigger.
Dick Tracy: I know. (sarcastic) A Bloglin. You have mentioned it quite a lot.
Miss M: (raises eyes with flames) Ok, what in the world is going on with you? This is not like you.
Miss M: Like a dick?
Dick Tracy: I deserve that. I'll call ya later. By the by, that patchouli smell isn't too bad on ya.
Miss M: Ha. That might be the most offensive thing about this conversation. So... I guess I just wait. (shrugs) Figures.
Up next! Miss M finds a new lead for some Pizzarias!
Like the previous posts on this blog, it is with great sadness that the blogging community lost William Bruce West. My heart goes out to his family, including his wife Lindsay and two daughters. Will contributed so much to the toy/comics/pop culture blogging and podcast community. His opinions on pop culture are the stuff of legend. Please check out the West Family GoFundMe and consider donating, they need our support more than ever. If you can't donate, please spread the word. West Family GoFundMe
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