199?It's just another regular day at Tromaville High...
Dr. Killemoff: You just can't shut up can you?
April: Earthlings? Where are you from? Just who are you?!
The hallways are a buzz with social activity common for teens from 199?
Purgatori: Yeah! We could get it to destroy the school! Or we could just have it gnaw on that little dork girl.
Evil Ernie: And that toxic freak that helped her.
Purgatori: The dork girl will probably be there.
Purgatori: Probably trembling in a puddle of her own pee. Ha. She's such a loser.
The mean hyper developed teens laugh at their drawn out devious plans for the evening. Meanwhile, Miss M and Toxie grow closer across town...
Toxie: It will make sense as it goes along. We go at night during the dance. We'll hide in a large Trojan box of condoms, no one will suspect us as we sneak in.
Miss M: How is it that people keep buying things in bulk around here?
Miss M: Who is Sam?
Miss M: Yeah. Sounds like a blast. I just hope April is ok.
Toxie: You two are close eh?
Toxie: I don't know. Protect the world. Save the environment. Squash the bad.
Toxie: As long as there are polluters on this planet, Earth will always be in danger.
Miss M: That makes sense.
Miss M: I do love your biceps. They're so green and bubbly. But firm!
Miss M: I don't go to the gym. I watch soap operas.
Miss M: I want to work at Contempo Casuals forever. Mostly for the discount, but also because I don't know what I want to do with my life. I have a year left of high school to figure it all out and nothing makes sense. April's lucky. She knows what her future path will be. I have no clue.
Back at the school...
As night falls, the dance begins!
Inside the cafeteria, a glittery disco ball shines with the color of blood over the students.
Selphie: It's where we use our throwaway cameras to take pictures of ourselves posing, without the help of others!
Psycho: Would you like some food? How about you? There's plenty!
Psycho: Come on students! Be sure to have refreshments!
Fender: Dude, it was not like that! That's not helping us get girlfriends!
Miss M: Thanks Toxie. You look dreamy as ever. I really need to find April. I just hope they don't play any good songs. I'd hate to miss a dance.
Miss M: Cool. Ok. Here goes nothing, I'm going in.
Miss M makes the rounds looking for April...
Miss M: Better than Cher in Clueless.
Hey, kinky cool outfit! Have you seen my friend April or her cousin Wheeler?
Miss M: Look, I don't want any trouble. I just have to scream for Toxie, and you're toast.
M fights Evil Ernie off as if it were just the two of them...
Evil Ernie: Come on, just be the bubble in my gut already...
Listen dick snot! I've had it! No more! I'm no longer going to put up with this poorly written crap! (Miss M kicks him hard, like, real hard)
Miss M: And I'll hurt you even more if you dare put a bony finger near me.
Back to life! Back to reality!
Dr. Killemoff: That is none of your business. Stop asking so many questions!
Toxie: You ok?
The crowd quiets down as they listen to the good doctor...
Fender: Must save cute girl! (Fender jumps in harm's way)
Fender: Me too.
Down below, chaos breaks out as the student body realizes they've been pawns.
Are you all ready for your positions? Toxic Crusaders come together! Right now!
No-Zone: Come on, I'm just snortin with ya.
Major Disaster: We're in war! Look alive! Less humping, more skull bashing!
The Toxic Crusaders jump into the fray to stop the madness from destroying the school.
Purgatori: You must be joking. What am I supposed to do against that?
Suddenly a song comes on during the dance, a song so great that Toxie and Miss M can't ignore it: Space Age Love Song!
Toxie: It's magical. I can't believe a girl like you would fall for a guy like me.
I have a hanging eye and my skin is radioactive. I'm not perfect.
Toxie: Are you hurt?
Boneyard: This is so much better than fetch.
Miss M: You're telling me! But it wasn't all for nothing. I've found my soulmate. My glowingly green soulmate. It's just perfect.
April: That was before these sick jerk-wads skinned his face.
April: Who are you?
Miss M: This is Toxie, my soulmate.
Miss M: I mean, have you seen those biceps?
April: Yes. They look infected.
Miss M: Yet so strong.
Bonehead: This isn't war old man. This is a bloodbath.
Bonehead lights Major Disaster on fire!
Killemoff! Killemoff where are you?
He bursts in full of rage!
Miss M: We have to do something!
April: You aren't good at this.
Fender: Really dudes?
April: I think everyone is safe now.
Toxie: Except for a few people.
Bonehead: (waves his knife) No one makes it out alive!
Stop! Wheeler, I know you are in there! Don't do this.
Sorry April. I know that's your cousin, but he doesn't have a face. So like, yeah. Toxie needs to make this out alive!
Miss M is lured off by the bullies!
Let me go a-holes! I am serious! I'll punch a bitch!
A bright light washes over the Tromaville bullies...
Evil Ernie: I can't believe the things I said. I'm sorry dork girl. I never really meant any of it. I wouldn't really want to romance you. I think I'm actually gay.
Purgatori: Sister Areala, what happens now? Do we get to keep our implants?
Sister Areala: Assuming you can live with your actions as I have had to do with mine, I suggest you all find what makes you truly happy. Leave this place before it destroys you.
Sister Areala leaves.
Back to the school fight...
Bonehead: I don't care!
Bonehead: My face. My face! Oh April, what did they do to me?
April: We have to do something!
Bonehead: It's no use. I'm going to be stuck like this.
Toxie: Believe me, you aren't meant to be the real Bonehead, kind cousin of April.
Bonehead: I'm so sorry. I hurt your friends. I hurt the Toxic Crusaders.
Toxie: Yeah, you might want to get out of here because once they wake up, they'll probably wanna kick your ass.
April: I know. We're in the clear.
Toxie: That doesn't matter. I'm still making you pay for your crimes.
Dr. Killemoff: I don't think so, because I have something you will want.
Toxie: What could that possibly be?
Dr. Killemoff: I could return you to your human form and give you what you have always dreamed of. A job, as a janitor at a gym.
Dr. Killemoff: Of course I can. Why not? I have a serum that can shed that hideous visage and you can go back to the way things were. You can be normal. Well, you'd still be a loser like this dead dork girl before me, but you wouldn't have the droopy eye.
Toxie: What's in it for you?
Dr. Killemoff: You let me leave this place. You let me escape back to Smogula. My plans are shot to hell for Earth. I will need to start from scratch and find another planet to pollute and allow the growing number of Smogulans to flee to. Earth is just too basic. What do you say?
Toxie: I don't know...
In his grief, Toxie makes a decision that feels right for him in that moment...
Toxie: Miss M...
Radiation Ranger: To Smogula!!!
Toxie: Together. Forever.
Melvin: You're alive?!
Miss M: I thought I was dead for a second, but I'm very much alive. Who are you?
Miss M: Yeah. He is a real polluted prick. Like the worst.
Melvin: (realizes his mistakes) What have I done?
Miss M: I'm not sure, but I think you saved me. Hey. Do we know each other? You seem so familiar...
Miss M: Oh. Ok.
Junkyard: Hot dog am I glad to see you!
Miss M: Hey guys. You all ok?
Junkyard: We couldn't find him.
Miss M: Well he must be here somewhere?!
Junkyard: You girls be ok out there.
Miss M: You aren't coming along?
Miss M: Ok. Well... If you guys find Toxie could you please tell him that I love him. And I hope to see him soon.
Miss M: Yeah. I guess this is good bye.
April: Couldn't come soon enough, I thought this latest adventure would never end!
Miss M: I just wonder...
April: Come on, you'll see Toxie again. The Toxic Crusaders will find him...
Back to the present...
April: Oh M, I forgot you had your heart broken in Tromaville.
April: More like two months. I was there. You put the food away during that time.
For more information on how you can save Nuke 'Em High, please go and support the Return to Nuke 'Em High Kickstarter page and donate to help finish and release the grodiest movie in the 40 years of Troma ever!
I hope you have enjoyed this toy story, and may we get to see Toxie one day again!