October 2014 Woman of Wonderosity!

Dear Diary,

Well. Let's see. Michelangelo and Mona Lisa are getting married. Next month. That's totally random. I also slept with Batman, which might be even more random. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's because my mind has melded forces with Moth Lady and I just lost all sense of control. Or something. I freakin slept with Batman. Who does sleeps with Batman? Except like Ms. Vale or Catwoman. I mean I have a really tacky facial tattoo. That just was not supposed to happen. It doesn't matter though. I've got bigger things to worry about. I'm trying to help the Cat Ladies solve a crime. Velvet Sky killed me nearly a year ago. No one can find her but she needs to pay for her crimes. I'm also helping April find dirt on Mila Rosnovsky so that April can get back her job and office. Oh, April is also having a really cool Halloween party at Bow's new bar. Except the invitation said no costumes, so I'm really confused as to why she is even having a Halloween party. Oh well, I need to get back to work. Later Diary!

-Miss M

Miss M: Ok, I just don't understand how I am going to get all this sorted out. How is it that I am doing detective work right now? I feel like the last few months have just been a waste of character development.
Bruce Wayne: What are you talking about?

Miss M: Nothing. I'm just trying to save April's job and find a deranged wrestler that killed me.
Bruce Wayne: So, are we going to talk about what happened the other night? And morning...
Miss M: Do you have to keep saying it like that? Yes. All right. We slept together. Twice. Got it. What else do you want me to say?

Bruce Wayne: I don't know. I really don't. I'm just glad you decided to leave the hotel on Mediterranean and come back here.
Miss M: I had no choice. The hotel had a bug problem. This is only temporary!
Bruce Wayne: Yeah. Sure.
Miss M: It is!

Bruce Wayne: What time are we going to this Halloween party?
Miss M: You still want to go with me?
Bruce Wayne: Of course.

Miss M: But why? You're Bruce Wayne. You are handsome and dashing and I'm just a dork girl trapped in the wrong body. With crimped hair and a facial tattoo.
Bruce Wayne: You really like repeating yourself huh?
Miss M: Maybe.
Bruce Wayne: Look, how many times do we have to go over this? I think you are beautiful no matter what.

Miss M: Yeah. I know. I just don't know what I'm doing. But! I need to finish this research before getting ready for the party. So, leave me be!
Bruce Wayne: Haha. I will. Use whatever you need.
Miss M: Stop being so nice to me!

Bruce Wayne: I can't help it. There's just something about you.
Miss M: Yeah. Sure thing.

Bruce Wayne leaves chuckling.

Miss M: He is so weird. It doesn't matter. I need to focus on this stuff. (looks over her files) I don't know how I can find out dirt on Mila Rosnovsky. She is like super clean. No police record. Her mom was a countess. Her father is mysteriously absent from, like, all her documents. She has a sister named Velvetina Rosnovsky. That's such a weird name. Oh goodness, there is just nothing on this girl. How is this going to work...

Miss M looks over her files and eventually realizes something.

Miss M: Wait, what is her sister's tacky sounding name? Velvetina Rosnovsky. Velvetina. Rosnovsky. Velvetina Rosnovsky! Velvet Sky is in that name! Could it be? Is this possible? (strides over to the Bat Cave's central system.)

Miss M: (locates an old photo of Mila and her sister Velvetina) Well she might not have the bad roots in this picture, but I'd recognize that scuzz bucket anywhere. Velvet Sky and Mila Rosnovsky are sisters! This changes everything!

Meanwhile...

April: Bow. I can't thank you enough for letting me throw this party here! This place looks amazing!
Bow: Thank you. It really came together.

April: So you will have enough staff?

Bow: Of course. We have got it handled. This will also debut the grand opening of Bow's Place.

April: About that, Bow, maybe you need to come up with a new name? Bow's Place sounds so stupid.
Bow: It's a little too late for that. Always a pleasure April.

April: I know. Well, I am going to get out of your hair. I'll be back for the party! It's going to be amazing!

Else where...

Tiger Claw: (leaves message) All right Hordak. The job is done. By the end of the night, Catra will be dead. Once it has happened, I expect my money to be wired quickly. I'm out.

Later on, April O'Neil's Halloween party begins! The guests arrive at Bow's Place for a night no one will forget...

April: This is just perfect! Everyone have fun! Enjoy the food and drinks! Bow, I think this will be the best Halloween party ever.
Bow: No one is dressed up though. I'm confused.
April: I just thought after everything we've gone through this year, we could just be ourselves. Ya know?

Sydney: Bow really does have his eye in the right place.

April: Sydney! I'm so glad you could make it!
Sydney: Of course! I do have to step out though for a bit. I've got to go and record After Dark. We're interviewing the guy behind the Toysrus petition.

April: I hadn't heard, what's it all about?

Sydney: I'll be back after the show is over and I'll explain. It's going to be fascinating! See you soon!

April: Bye!

The McNugget buddies arrive.

April: What is this? I thought I said no costumes.

Witchie McNugget: We aren't in costumes. I look like this all year round. Ugh. Get your life.

April: (watches them walk off) Why do they always show up to things?

Cheetara: Bow, everything looks so nice.
Bow: Thank you Cheetara. I didn't know you knew April.

Cheetara: Oh yeah. It's funny how we're all connected. The Cat Ladies and I decided to arrive together. We've worked with April in the past.

Bow: Nice.
Cheetara: Though something tells me I'll still be coming to this bar. You look really good Bow. I hope things are ok with you.

Bow: They will be. In time.

Irma: April! Can you believe how cool this place is? What a great party!
Guy Friday: Yeah April. Another smash hit.

April: You both need to leave.

Irma: Huh?
April: You aren't invited.

Guy Friday: We were sent invitations. We even helped plan this.
April: All true. But I resend your invitation.
Irma: That word usage makes no sense. April, why do you not want us here?

April: Why don't you go and ask your friend: Megan Fox.
Irma: Gulp.

Guy Friday: I don't know what...
April: Save it! I know you both saved her and stayed at her Malibu mansion! How could you?! You both are on the payroll!

Irma: But April, you can't just throw people down pits! What you did was wrong, no matter how much of a douchette she is.

April: Get out! The both of you! This is my party and I'm done with the lot of you.
Irma: April...

Guy Friday: Come on Irma. We aren't wanted here.

Casey Jones: (walks up) April, did you just kick your friends out of the party?
April: Yes.

Casey Jones: Why?

April: No reason. Just a disagreement.

Casey Jones: Are you ok?

April: (lies) Couldn't be better!

Janine: Hi Frankenberry.
Frankenberry: It's so nice to see you. You seem to be getting around well.

Janine: Thanks. After last year's Halloween party I didn't think I'd make it. In fact I'm a bit crazy for coming back, but one doesn't turn down an invitation to an April O'Neil party. How are things with Strawberry Shortcake?

Frankenberry: Not so good. We've hit a rough patch.
Janine: Oh I'm so sorry!

Frankenberry: Yeah. She got a craving for some chocolate.
Janine: You don't say?

Frankenberry: I caught her in the kitchen with Count Chocula.
Janine: Oh goodness!
Frankenberry: Yeah. I guess strawberries and chocolate really do go together.

Janine: Sweetie, I wouldn't say that too much. You're opening yourself up to some jokes dipped in tackiness.

Miss M: Wow. April really knows how to throw a party.

Bruce Wayne: Yeah. Do you think we could talk later on?

Miss M: Bruce, what are we going to talk about? Can we just forget that we did it already...
Bruce Wayne: No, we can't...

April: Moth Lady! You brought a guest! Wow, Bruce Wayne. I didn't know you had a thing for girls like Moth Lady. I figured you dated pretty.

Bruce Wayne: Moth Lady is pretty. She's the most stunning woman I've ever known.
Miss M: (chokes on her spittle) Really?

April: Wow Moth Lady. Look at you. They do say that love can strike in the strangest of places. Now, how has the dirt been? What have you found on Mila?

Miss M: Well... I have found a few things, but before I talk to you, I need to talk to the Cat Ladies. If you'll both excuse me.

Bruce Wayne: Sure.

Miss M walks off.

April: All right, fess up. How much did she pay you to be her date?
Bruce Wayne: You do know I have more money than God, right? Why would I accept money for something like that?
April: Ok maybe for some insider trading tips. Whatever, but there is no way you are seriously smitten over Moth Lady.

Bruce Wayne: You don't even know who she is. I care about her. She might not be the prettiest, but her heart is the biggest.
April: Aww. How sappy. You should put that on a Hallmark card.
Bruce Wayne: Why are you so bitchy?

April: Because! I've lost my damn job and office and I might go to jail for tossing a nuisance down a well! Leave me alone!

April storms off.

Miss M: Hey girls.

Catra: Moth Lady! How have you been?

Miss M: Perfect. Look, I've been doing research and I think I know how you girls can find Velvet Sky.

Tigra: Please tell us. We can't find that chick anywhere.

Catwoman: Are we even sure she exists? Moth Lady, how do you even know that Velvet Sky was behind this?
Miss M: Trust me, I know. And the thing is this, Mila Rosnovsky is our key.
Cheetara: The new found media mogul of Channel 6?

Miss M: Yes. Velvet Sky is her older sister! They are related! That's the key. We get Mila to tell us where Velvet Sky is, and then she can be brought in for questioning by the police.
Catra: This could work. The police have already done another investigation and found there was foul play involved in the sewer explosion.
Miss M: See! This is just what we need!
Catra: Ok Cat Ladies. I know what to do.

Cheetara: No kidding, look who just walked in...

Mila arrives!

Catra: OK, this is too easy. You all stay here, I'm going to be back with the police. They'll bring her in for questioning.

Black Cat: What if they can't?

Catra: Then we'll question her ourselves. Which will be worse for her. I'll return shortly.

April: Mila. What on Etheria are you doing here?
Mila: And miss this? Don't be silly.
April: You weren't invited.

Mila: I don't need an invitation. I'm part of the press, covering this mediocre event for the society pages of my ever growing media empire.
April: Where's Megan Fox at? I'm surprised your lackey isn't sniffing at your heels!
Mila: Nu-April is covering the news for Channel 6. Ya know, doing the important things.

April: You won't be getting away with any of this.
Mila: (sighs) I already have April.

With clenched fists of rage, April continues to make the rounds of her party.

Guests come and go. The night is a festive hit all things considered.

Soon April and Casey take to the stage.

April: Attention guests. Can we quiet the music please. I'd like to speak a few words.

Miss M: (looks over as Michelangelo and Mona Lisa arrive) Great.

Bruce Wayne: What is it?
Miss M: They just arrived. I need some fresh air. I'll be back.
Bruce Wayne: Ok. I'll be here.

Miss M leaves quickly.

April: Many of you here were at my party last year. And what a party it was, right Frankenberry?

Frankenberry: (sobs) I just want love!

April: Anyways, last year was a great party. Not only was the food superb but there was also a wedding. I married my ex husband a second time and that is why we are here tonight. I couldn't imagine my life without you Casey Jones. We've been through so much and you make me the happiest woman ever. (moves her forehead) Look, no more Botox! I want to feel again! And I have, thanks to my hunky husband.

Casey Jones: I love you April.

April: As do I! Now everyone, enjoy!

Michelangelo: Just think babe, that's gonna be us real soon.

Mona Lisa: I know Mikey. I can't wait to be your wife. Nothing can get in our way now!

Mila: Excuse me, but I was wondering if I could have a word?
Michelangelo: Sha. Yeah right.

Mona Lisa: What do you want from us?

Mila: Well you both stopped the mutant known as magneto from demolishing famed French restaurant Tres Bliss, how did you do it?

Michelangelo: The power of love dudette!

Mona Lisa: Mikey's nunchucks were also made of plastic.

Michelangelo: That too.

Meanwhile...

Miss M: I just can't be there anymore. No more! I am done. I'm gonna leave this town. Nothing good can come out of living here.

Suddenly, Miss M hears a noise. A spooky noise.

Miss M: Hello? Is someone there? Hello?

The noise grows louder as Miss M tries to find the source of the noise.

Miss M: Stop right there or I'll scream bloody murder!

The mysterious person shows up: Maleficent!!!

Maleficent: No need to scream little pet.

Miss M: Oh no, I can't go through another Total Darkness event.
Maleficent: I'm not here for that.
Miss M: What do you want?

Maleficent: I've been watching you. I see what you have done and I realize I might have been a bit rough on you. I'm going to grant you what I promised. I'm going to be your fairy godmother. Ha. Haha. Hahahaha.You can have your old body.
Miss M: What!?

Maleficent: Under one condition.
Miss M: Oh no. I hate terms and conditions.
Maleficent: I've been doing some thinking. I want you to teach me your talent.

Miss M: Toy collecting isn't really a talent...
Maleficent: Oh hush and close your eyes!

Maleficent chants a spell, altering the fabric of space and time to finally return Miss M into her real body!

The process is stunning.

And soon...

Miss M: (falls to the ground) Oh my goodness.

Miss M: Is this real? Am I really back!?

Maleficent: Yes my little puppet. Now for that condition.
Miss M: Oh. Yeah. The talent. What do you want me to teach you?

Maleficent: I want you to teach me how to be kind. Now come on. Class is about to be in session.

Miss M: I can't teach you how to be kind, you either have it or you don't.
Maleficent: Insanity. I don't believe it. Now hurry, I haven't much longer on Earth. My form is fading fast.
Miss M: Where are we going?
Maleficent: To my special lair in the After Life.

Miss M: But wait, let me just tell my friends that I'm back! I've waited so long!
Maleficent: You can wait longer! Now come on!

In a fit of curses, Maleficent orders them away. In a flash Miss M and Maleficent are gone, off to learn the ways of kindness and the art of never having crimped hair again...

Moth Lady: I'm finally free.

October 2014 Woman of Wonderosity!

April O'Neil's Halloween party continues in After Dark! Don't miss it!