Wednesday, July 1, 2015

June 2015 Woman of Wonderosity!

While Miss M gets her life figured out, take a gander into the life of another fun loving heroic woman!

Greetings Journal,

I just arrived in town. This city isn't too bad. I've been away for awhile, but my friend Felicia has asked me to join her and some rag tag team of Cat Ladies. What does that even mean? What is Felicia trying to get me into? I'm not sure I have worked this hard in my life to now end up being in a group of raggedy women who collect an assortment of cats and what, knit? Or something? Oh well, I'll just have to wait and see what this is all about.

The cat's meow,

June 2015 Woman of Wonderosity

Hellcat: Ok, I'm confused, I thought there would be more cats?

Black Cat: We are the cats Patsy. We're the Cat Ladies, a team of ferocious super heroes. And some other people who have lost their way. Our moral compass is a bit off. We do good work though.

Hellcat: Yeah. It also smells refreshingly nice here. Like Freesia. Your base of operations also looks like that mountain from Lion King. Was that intentional?

Black Cat: Would you look at that? I never even realized that before. Makes sense though. So what do ya say Patsy? Join us? The benefits are fun costumes, gossip, and we get a discount at the Sizzler. No one ever uses the discount but they do let us hide stuff there.
Hellcat: I guess. Why the hell not?

Black Cat: Awesome! Let me introduce you to the ladies. This is Catwoman, Catwoman this is Hellcat.

Catwoman: Hey. Are you a good cat or a bad cat?

Hellcat: I'm a good cat. I guess. What kind of question is that?

Catwoman: Sometimes I like to steal things, like, expensive things. I need to know who I can trust to join me or not.

Hellcat: Oh, that's a job for Felicia. I don't steal.

Black Cat: Ok, moving along. (whispers) We don't really steal. Most of the time.

Black Cat: Here is Cheetara and her lovely daughter WilyKit.

Cheetara: Hi, I know this isn't a place for children, but I need someone to watch WilyKit. I need to meet with my lawyer about custody and I need to pick up WilyKat from soccer practice. I'll only be a few seconds.

Black Cat: Sure, we can watch her,

WilyKit: You all suck.

Cheetara: Teens. What can I say?

Black Cat: Cheetara, this is my friend Hellcat...

Cheetara: Sorry! Gotta run! Talk more when I get back.

Black Cat: All right. Guess it's just us.
WilyKit: Do you have a TV and Netflix?

Hellcat: Are things usually this hectic?

Black Cat: No not really. And no, we do not have Netflix WilyKit.

WilyKit: Are you all lesbians or something?

Black Cat: (snaps back) Shouldn't you be listening to a boy band or something?

Hellcat: But if we were lesbians, that'd be ok!

WilyKit: Ugh. I'm bored and you are both weird.

Black Cat: We are not weird. You'll understand one day little girl! Sorry about that Hellcat. Oh look! Hi Cheetah!

Hellcat: You weren't lying when you said this was all about the Cat Ladies.

Black Cat: Cheetah! I want you to meet my dear friend Hellcat.

Cheetah: I guess you're taking Tigra's place?

Hellcat: I guess so. What happened to Tigra?

Cheetah: She died in a horrible explosion outside our favorite hot spot called Bow's Place at the hands of Tiger Claw, a real jerk that also tortured me.

Hellcat: Felicia, you didn't tell me this job was life threatening...

Black Cat: It was merely a rough moment. All is well now. Tiger Claw is no longer a threat.

Black Cat: Come along, just a few more. Ah! Catra!
Catra: I'm a bit busy.

Black Cat: This will only take a moment. I want you to meet the latest member of the Cat Ladies! This is my dear friend Hellcat.

Catra: Nice to meet you.

Hellcat: Likewise.

Black Cat: We almost lost Catra too. Not from death but stubbornness. (whispers) She also killed Tiger Claw, hence why he is no longer a threat.

Catra: I stand by my convictions of stubbornness. We shouldn't be safeguarding Velvet Sky.

Black Cat: I know. After everything she has done she is a nasty piece of work, but we have to help her until we can stop Hordak.
Catra: We need to address that. I found out he is going to be at this year's Conference of Evil. It will be a great time for a showdown. Then Velvet Sky will be safe and we can stop watching over her.
Black Cat: Whatever you say Catra.
Hellcat: Sounds like you are all incredibly busy.

Black Cat: Yes, but it will be nice to have you as a new member. Now, wait here, I just need to talk with Catra about something real quick.

Hellcat: Cool. I'll just stand here. Gosh this scent of Freesia smells so nice.

Hellcat waits as a visitor approaches!

Velvet Sky: Who are you?
Hellcat: I'm Hellcat, I'm new to this whole Cat Lady thing. Who are you? Let me guess, the Pink Kitty?

Velvet Sky: No, I'm Velvet Sky. I'm not a Cat Lady, they are just watching over me.

Hellcat: Oh. That's nice.

Velvet Sky: Yeah, some evil dude wants me dead.

Hellcat: What for?

Velvet Sky: I teamed up with him originally because I needed help killing this girl. She was a friend of the Cat Ladies.

Hellcat: And they are helping you why?

Velvet Sky: The girl came back from the dead. I didn't do any jail time or anything. Besides, I'm super rich and will make it worth their while.
Hellcat: Ok. Whatever you say.

Black Cat: I see you met our lovely Velvet Sky.
Velvet Sky: Yep, we were just saying hi,

Hellcat: Yeah, Velvet Sky was telling me about how she came to be here. You actually want to help someone who killed your friend?
Black Cat: Miss M is still alive. It's all good.

Hellcat: Did you say Miss M?

Black Cat: Yep. The one and only. Well... unless you count Bette Midler. Though she's more divine than anything...

Hellcat: I need to find her, where is she?


Megan Fox: This is Megan Fox reporting live for TV 2, the New News. Reports have been trickling in about a new virus striking citizens of this city. Simply called TOYS, this new virus seems to be tracked to the mutants who were murdered and turned into the street drug Plastic. If you have used the drug Plastic or involved yourself with what some are calling the Mutant Menace, please contact your local physician...

Miss M: My goodness she might as well create a false panic. Wait till April sees this.

Hellcat: Mutants always get blamed for something. It's a shame.

Miss M: Hellcat? Freakin Hellcat? What are you doing here?!
Hellcat: I'm in town. Actually Felicia asked me to join the Cat Ladies.

Miss M: Cool! I know some of the Cat Ladies. Actually, all of them.

Hellcat: Yes. I have a few reasons to be in this city.

Miss M: That's cool! I never thought I'd ever see you here, in person. I love your story. How you were once a part of Miss America but tore yourself from such silliness and became the kick ass super hero Hellcat! You're even going to be a part of that super hero docu-series on Netflix! You are a role model.

Hellcat: I could say the same thing about you.

Miss M: Oh hardly. I'm just a silly dork girl.

Hellcat: You are also a crime fighter.

Miss M: How did you know that?

Hellcat: I know a lot. A great deal actually, which is why I'm here. You're doing a great job as WoW, but I want to work with you. We can make this city safer and better than ever before.

Miss M: Is this real life?

Hellcat: Yes. Now, let's get started...

June 2015 Woman of Wonderosity!

Bonus Scene!

Vultura: Goodness, you look like you are ready to pop.

Moth Lady: I feel like it. I want this damn thing out of me!

Vultura: I know. It's not easy is it? Having to carry a child that was created while you were not in control of your body. That blasted Miss M and Batman. It's ok though. Dragon Queen has already gotten us tickets to this year's Conference of Evil. That will get your mind off of the pregnancy.

Moth Lady: I won't be able to get my mind off this monster growing in me until the moment it is out. I want my life back.

Vultura: And you will. Now come on, we need to prepare for the Conference of Evil!

Moth Lady: Yes. Let's do just that. (rubs her growing belly) Hear that you little monster? We're going to the Conference of Evil...

To be continued!

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