All My Toys: 314

Previously on All My Toys: Miss M and Dick Tracy decided to give their love another chance, which has not gone over well for M's father: Big Boy Caprice. The detective and the mobster have a growing animosity that M has no clue of. Meanwhile, M's bestie Glo and Club Ritz's bouncer Jason are joining forces to take down Big Boy Caprice and his organizational skills of the criminal variety. Breathless Mahoney also returned fresh faced from managing the loss of her fiancé, Jafar, and has her own plans to take Big Boy down, as she believes the mob boss is responsible for the murder of her love.

Big Boy's therapy session...

Big Boy Caprice: (angry) I just don't get it! My daughter, she's a smart girl, but she constantly gets tangled up with these buffa men. 

Big Boy Caprice: I was relieved when she broke up with the latest one. I thought finally this girl is getting some sense in her head. But no! She just casually tells me that she's back together with him. This stronzo and his little pee-pee hat. (yells) I hate him!

Deanna Troi: I can see this has upset you. Help me understand, what has been so wrong with your daughter's choice in men?

Big Boy Caprice: Ha! Where do I begin? This latest one, he's a goody two shoes. The one before was a rich weirdo. Before that there was a fire fighter, nice guy, but too many kids. Then there was the dweeb. I liked him but he's dead. She's also dated a Ninja Turtle. A cowboy McNugget. Her taste is as terrible as the breakfast I ate this morning. Those greasy donuts from Shirley's on 6th. You know the ones I'm talkin about?

Deanna Troi: Yes. I do. I am quite honestly at a loss for how they still stay in business.

Deanna Troi: Ahem. Perhaps we could get to the core of something. It is of course not uncommon for a parent to be concerned about who their child dates, but your daughter is a middle aged woman. I'm curious why you have such a strong reaction to who she involves herself with?

Big Boy Caprice: My daughter, she's a good kid ya know? Heart of gold that one. Unlike her mother and me. I won't even get started on her mother. That woman, one minute I feel a fierce love for my ex-wife and the next I'd no sooner dip her and her designer heels in concrete. (pauses) I'm joking of course. There are things my daughter doesn't know about me. And I've already let her down by spending time in jail when she was growing up and needed me most. So now that she is so hellbent on finding love, I want it to be with someone who isn't going to let her down like I did. Someone who is going to do right by her. I've yet to meet anyone who could come close to being what she needs. And deserves.

Deanna Troi: I suspect with your standards, it's possible no one will be able to. You love your daughter very much, and want the best for her. But also, I wonder what it might be like to share this with her. Do you have any idea what her own standards might be? 

Big Boy Caprice: No. I guess I've never really talked to her about that stuff. 

Deanna Troi: You might be surprised at what you learn. 

Big Boy Caprice: I suppose you have a point.

Deanna Troi: You sound a little more calm, are you feeling a little better? Would you like to do a mindfulness exercise?

Big Boy Caprice: Oh no, I don't mess with that mind control stuff.

Deanna Troi: That's not what that does, it's ok, how about we sit back down and you tell me a little bit about what else has been on your mind? Anymore panic attacks?

Big Boy Caprice: Nah. I get close, but I usually go and punch something or get a drink at my bar. Perk of owning a night club, I get access to all the liquor.  

Deanna Troi: I could see how that would be tempting.

Big Boy Caprice: Yeah, no need to fret. I don't like to drink much. I like to stay focused, one step ahead of my enemies.

Deanna Troi: Enemies?

Big Boy Caprice: Oh sure, in my business it's pretty easy to make enemies. They tend to regret crossing me though.

Deanna Troi: I can imagine. You strike me as a man not to be messed with.

Across town, Miss M's apartment.

Miss M: Ok, so, I really enjoyed that Patty Melt. I don't know who Patty is, but I'm glad she figured out how to make a burger taste better and then share that with the world. 

Dick Tracy: Hmm, well I don't think that's exactly how that worked. I don't think there was ever a Patty. The patty more so refers to the hamburger patty.

Miss M: Oh I'm sure there was a Patty. In my mind, there once was this nice lady living in a quaint house in the country and her name was Patty and she came up with this glorious idea to basically melt and griddle a hamburger, and then she brought those tasty burgs to town for people to eat and eventually became a beloved icon. Now the rest is history and in my stomach.

Dick Tracy: You're a riot. And maybe a little crazy.

Miss M: You totally love it.

Dick Tracy: I actually do. I've been enjoying our time together. I'm glad we decided to make things work.

Miss M: Me too. (pauses) I was wondering about something.

Dick Tracy: Sure.

Miss M: Well, now that we are back on track and our future looks bright, I wanted to see what you thought about meeting Yvie sometime soon?

Dick Tracy: What does Yvie say about that?

Miss M: I haven't told her yet, but I was thinking about it. And if she is ok, and if you were ok, that maybe we could meet for a lunch or something. In the not too distant future.

Dick Tracy: Absolutely. Whenever she is ready, I will be ready.

Miss M: Oh great!

"...Calling Dick Tracy! The Spritz is on the fritz at the water park!"

Miss M: Duty calls.

Dick Tracy: (sighs) As it so often does. I'm sorry to cut and run.

Miss M: It's ok. We had a nice lunch.

Dick Tracy: That we did. Now come here and plant one on me.

Smooch!

Miss M: (in a daze from the kiss) Be careful out there.

Dick Tracy: Always. And don't forget, please get your car checked out. That noise whenever you break or make a turn is concerning.

Miss M: (still in a daze) Yeah, totally. 

Later on that day, around early evening, Club Ritz..

Lana: No darlin, you have it all wrong. I think I should be the show stopper with the pink lighting to set a romantic mood for the audience.

Breathless: Oh Lana, this is a night club, not a brothel. 

Krystal: (eyes open wide) Maybe we should take five?

Lana: You go and take five, make it ten. Breathless and I need to iron out these creative differences. After all, I am in charge of the show.

Breathless: Oh Lana. Big Boy runs the show. You may have course corrected this joint a time or two, but times have changed. He values my input and ultimately gets the final say.

Lana: Now you listen here you blonde tramp. I've sat idly by and allowed you to prance around trotting out your orders because I have felt sorry for you and your loss. But I have always been in charge of entertainment here. Now if you insist on pushing your delusional narratives, be my guest, but all it will take is one conversation with Big Boy.

Krystal: Oh wow. A detective just walked in. 

Jason: We're closed right now, come back in an hour.

Dick Tracy: Here we go again. I'm here on official police business. I'm looking for Breathless Mahoney.

Jason: Breathless?

Dick Tracy: Yes. 

Breathless: Sorry Lana, but it looks like we will need to take five after all. I have a date with a detective. 

Lana: Well don't you move on fast?

Breathless: Hardly. He's helping me with a case.

Glo: Dick?! What are you doing here?

Dick Tracy: Funny, I was going to ask you the same.

Glo: I work here.

Dick Tracy: Oh that's right. I remember M telling me you got hired at a club, I just didn't know who her father was at the time. Now I know too much.

Glo: What does that mean?

Dick Tracy: Maybe we can talk more later?

Glo: Ok. I would actually like that.

Dick Tracy: Good. 

Breathless: Why hello detective. I'm so glad you could drop by.

Dick Tracy: Yes. Do we have anywhere private to talk?

Breathless: I'd love nothing more. 

Jason: You know that guy?

Glo: Yes, he's dating my friend. Big Boy's daughter. I don't even know why I haven't connected the dots. We might be able to lean on Dick Tracy for help with all this.

Jason: No way, Big Boy hates that guy. 

Glo: That makes it even better. 

Jason: Umm, how so?

Glo: Because. Dick is a standup guy, he'd do right by us. Crap. This can get really messy.

Jason: Your friend, you mean?

Glo: Yeah. I'm willing to bet M has no idea what is going on. Hmm. has he been using M this whole time? 

Suddenly...

Big Boy Caprice: (notices Dick Tracy) What the hell is this?

Itchy: I dunno boss. Looks like that detective that's dating your daughter is cozying up to Breathless.

Big Boy Caprice: Don't be a squigliado. He's here for me. To take me down. 

Breathless: I'm surprised you've come to the lion's den.

Dick Tracy: These giblet-heads don't scare me. Besides, my being here is a rather important message to them, don't you think?

Breathless: Yes. Oh. I wanted to let you know, I was able to access codes to view security footage at my fiancé's office. I don't know exactly what I need to be looking for, but I assume you would.

Dick Tracy: Absolutely. My partner Arcee and I can look them over. 

Breathless: Great. I had the tapes securely sent to your office, with instructions.

The Rodent: Oh here comes Big Boy.

The Brow: Yeah, lookin ready to burst a vein in his head. Or the detective's. 

Big Boy Caprice: Detective Dick! I didn't realize you fancied the ladies at my fine establishment. My daughter not enough for you?

Breathless: Oh Big Boy, no need for feathers to be ruffled...

Big Boy Caprice: Quiet Breathless. Let the dick speak.

Dick Tracy: I'm here on official police business. And it's nice to see you too.

Big Boy Caprice: What business do you have here? Lookin to make me a suspect of another murder?

Dick Tracy: That's up to you. Would you like to be a suspect in a murder? Where were you on the evening of July second?

Big Boy Caprice: That was a couple months ago, I'd have to look at my calendar. More than likely I was here, where I usually am. What's this about?

Dick Tracy: The murder of Jafar. Breathless believes her fiancé was murdered.

Big Boy Caprice: That is a sad shame that our dear Breathless lost her love. Jafar was a valued customer here. The Club Ritz family has been absolutely devastated. But Breathless, I thought you told me the case was closed and ruled as a suicide?

Breathless: Well that's the thing Big Boy, I'm not so sure it was a suicide.

Dick Tracy: Hence why I'm here. Is that a problem?

Big Boy Caprice: You and your sniffin' mutt nose is always my problem. I don't like you.

Dick Tracy: And the feeling is mutual. Now, can you step aside so I can continue my job?

Big Boy Caprice: Continue it elsewhere! You aren't welcome here Dick!

Breathless: Come on Tracy. We can finish this at the diner down the street.

Big Boy Caprice: Oh no! You're going on stage tonight when the doors open. Find time to talk with little Dick on your off time.

Dick Tracy: It's ok, we can talk later. I'll review the tapes in the meantime. Are you feeling ok?

Breathless: Of course. He doesn't scare me.

Dick Tracy leaves.

Big Boy Caprice: Breathless, I feel for you. I truly do. But I want you to stay away from that piss ant of a detective, do you understand? I don't want more trouble to come your way.

Breathless: Whatever you say Big Boy.

Big Boy Caprice: Good. Now get that tush ready for the show, capisce? 

Breathless walks away towards Krystal.

Krystal: Are you trying to get yourself killed?

Breathless: No. I'm trying to do what is right. 

Krystal: And what might that be?

Breathless: Look around Krystal. We're all little pawns that Big Boy thinks he owns and can play around with. You of all people should understand what I am trying to do.

Krystal: And what is that?

Breathless: Big Boy killed your boyfriend. You know it. I know it. Everyone does. I don't have the proof I need just yet, but I am sure he killed my fiancé as well. I'm done. One way or another, Big Boy is going to pay for his crimes.

Krystal: I'm rooting for you Breathless. And if you can't get the job done, I certainly will.

Breathless: I don't know what you mean by that, but be careful. None of us are safe as long as Big Boy is running the show.

Lana: Big Boy, we need to talk.

Big Boy Caprice: (groans) Not right now Lana. 

Lana: Darlin, it will be right now. You might be able to boss around the others, but I know all about the skeletons and ghosts in this place. Or should I remind you?

Big Boy Caprice: (sighs) What do you want?

Lana: Breathless thinks she can call the shots. I need you to remind her that I run the entertainment around here. I also think we need to seriously consider that something bad has happened to Influence. I went by his place the other day and it was empty, mail stacked up. Something has happened to him.

Big Boy Caprice: I can't fool with this right now. Tell you what, I'll talk to Breathless, you go file a police report if Influence's disappearance has you that concerned. I gotta talk to Prunes. 

Lana: Darlin!

Big Boy Caprice huffs off.

Big Boy Caprice: We got ourselves a big problem.

Prune Face: Yeah we do. What did you do to this detective to have him breathing down our necks?

Big Boy Caprice: I don't have the time for this. We need Flattop here. Yesterday. Do you understand?

Prune Face: Yeah, yeah. He got the message. He's on his way back to town.

Big Boy Caprice: Good, because this little detective Dick is going to try and pin Jafar's murder on me. He's ready to take me down and this time I didn't do it.

Prune Face: (winks) Sure thing Big Boy. You didn't do it, but we'll make sure we take him out first.

Big Boy Caprice: Exactly. But seriously, I didn't do it.

Across town, Miss M's apartment. Again.

Miss M: (recording) And that is why I plan on eating all my Patty Melts at Dixie's Diner, where classic food brings classic comfort. (pauses) Ok, this will be such a cute ad for my next post.

Knock, knock.

Miss M: Come in, door's unlocked.

Bruce Wayne: I wish I had as much trust in things like you do with keeping your place unlocked all the time.

Miss M: Bruce?!

Miss M: What are you doing here?

Bruce Wayne: I came by to talk about something important. Something that impacts me and you.

Miss M: Oh? What do you mean?

Bruce Wayne: I brought someone with me, an old friend that wanted to see you.

Miss M: Oh my goodness Chewie!

Chewie: Woof!

Miss M: What made you want to do that?

Bruce Wayne: I'm not sure how best to say this. Chewie loves the manor. Lots of land to play, sleeps with Yvie every night. But, he's getting older. 

Miss M: (gasps) Bruce. What are you saying?

Bruce Wayne: I took him to the vet. He's got a heart condition. Mostly due to old age. The vet said he could go in the next couple weeks or could stick around for another year or two.

Miss M: What?! My little scruffy prince? Oh Chewie, your heart isn't feeling ok?

Chewie: (wags tail slowly) Woof!

Miss M: So wait. Are you wanting me to say goodbye right now? I'm confused. (panics) Because I'm not ready to say goodbye. N to the O.

Bruce Wayne: No. I brought him here because I feel like he knows there isn't much time left, and honestly, he should be with you. Yvie will be here to visit, and it really helped for him to be there for her after everything that happened at our failed wedding, but he's always been your baby. I thought it just made the most sense.

Miss M: (fights back tears) No, you did the right thing. (looks at Chewie) I'm going to make sure you are as comfortable as you can be sweetness.

Bruce Wayne: I'm sorry. I know how much you love him.

Miss M: (pauses) How could you possibly know? You can't even remember the last ten years.

Bruce Wayne: (pauses, contemplating confessing that his memories have returned) Uhh, it's just a figure of speech. Anyone can tell you love your dog.

Miss M: Right. He's my little pink prince. I gave birth to him. In a metaphorical sort of way. I'm sorry, you are probably not in the mood for my musings.

Bruce Wayne: It's ok. I don't mind.

Miss M: (feels awkward) Well, thank you for coming by and bringing him. 

Bruce Wayne: Of course. (pauses) M?

Miss M: Yes?

Bruce Wayne: You look nice tonight. I'll see you around.

Miss M: (stands there in confusion) K.

Chewie: Woof!

Up Next!

Plots thicken at Club Ritz!

Like the previous posts on this blog, it is with great sadness that the blogging community lost William Bruce West this year. My heart goes out to his family, including his wife Lindsay and two daughters. Will contributed so much to the toy/comics/pop culture blogging and podcast community. His opinions on pop culture are the stuff of legend. Please check out the West Family GoFundMe and consider donating, they need our support more than ever. If you can't donate, please spread the word. West Family GoFundMe