Toy Chest Tuesday! Swans Crossing

Oh dear toy fans, Daria is on in the background as I prepare to share with you all a brand new Toy Chest! Today we will be looking at Swans Crossing by Playmates. I wonder what Daria would say about this? I feel like she would be rolling her eyes at me a lot. I love you Daria! Anyways Playmates has been responsible for many great toylines in the history of the world. I know most people think of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or The Simpsons as the go-to toy lines from Playmates, but Swans Crossing will always hold a special place in my heart as one of the best toy lines ever made with a glitzy charm. (My heart is actually really big for its love of all toys, but like She-Ra or Jem, Swans Crossing really captured my imagination as a kid.)

Swans Crossing was a line of doll figures that were based off of the teen drama of the same name in 1992. I never really watched much of the Swans Crossing show because it lasted for like three months. I could never quite catch the airing schedule (this was before recorded television) and by the time I was ready to watch, the show was gone. However the toys were so much fun because the characters were all like Nene Leakes: very rich. Since I wasn't rich at all I enjoyed these glitzy characters with their popular friendships and shiny cars. I also didn't have any friends in '92. Oh, here is an interesting factoid: Sarah Michelle Gellar played Sydney Rutledge on the show. Sydney was the daughter of the mayor.

Anyways let's look at some pictures of Rock Concert Mila Rosnovsky!

The packaging for Mila was quite simple. There were various drawings depicting rich teen life in Swans Crossing. Horseback riding and Country Club Sports. Evening parties. Random columns and a sailboat. It's the way the wealthy live! Once these toys came out I had briefly flirted with the idea of learning to horseback ride. It was very Betty Draper before we even knew the Drapers. However I am not big on being outside all on account that you really can't watch soaps or cartoons. Anyways Mila came with a set of musical instruments and a comb.

Here is Mila decked out in her awesome '90s finest. The fashions were a big part of this toy line. The thing that originally drew me to this figure was the boots. Ever since Frosta walked around in her thigh high boots, I have always loved boots that went over the knee. When I was much younger I had asked my mom for a pair of boots that went over the knee. She just about died in her steps and replied, "Good girls do not wear boots over the knee. You don't want to be a trashy girl do you?" Well if looking like Frosta or Mila meant I was trashy, than so be it. Of course after my mom and I both survived my turbulent teen years she didn't really care what kind of boots I wore as long as I wasn't rolling my eyes and yelling all the time. (The ironic thing is that now she would be the one to rock some thigh high boots. I've been told something just changes after you turn 40.)

The back of the card had an interesting way of showing the other toys in the Swans Crossing line. Set up like a Society Section of a newspaper, certain social events described who was who in Swans Crossing and just who you'd be wanting to add to your collection next. Interested in more?

There was a sporty collection of the characters. Sarah Michelle Gellar's character was Sydney (far left.) So here is my confession that is connected to something I wrote earlier, I have always liked SMG. And her horseback riding figure was actually the main reason I wanted to horseback ride too. I really wanted to be like her. (Don't even get me started on when she was Buffy.) Anyways as creepy as that all sounds the part I love best in this section was: J.T. Adams pitcher for the Swans, was voted "Most Improved Player." Yeah. We all know it was his use of Big League Chew that was his vast improvement.

The Swans Dance Blast was one of my favorites. Not only did Swans fans get to see their teen idols decked out in shiny fun dresses, but "the big question of the evening was which lucky teen beauty would spend the evening dancing in the arms of super-hunk Garrett Booth? Sydney? Mila?" Swans Crossing fans had to make that up in their imaginary play. And since I was missing most of these toys, the cat fights only happened in my mind. Do you see why I didn't have any friends in '92? Let alone a date to the Swans Dance Blast!

The Slumber Social marked the realization that I was truly a sad and desperate dorkette. First of all I hated slumber parties. Partly because I had only ever been invited to one, at the age of 5, and the other reason was due to the fact that nothing is better than sleeping in your own bed. Secondly the whole description of the "most outrageous slumber party" had me green with envy. (You know they were going to be eating snacks!) I wanted to be included in a group where someone would honor the party after a friend. Or where "good-girl Glory and Callie (that mysterious new girl in town) supplied the gossip and the popcorn." (See! Snacks!) The only gossip I knew of was on my soaps and we all know how that has turned out.    

The next section of social news addressed the Rock Bash being a hit. This was a cool set. Though the premise was a great capture of the times with a Rock the Vote theme. Could you just imagine being a teen and being part of a concert to help with the re-election of your mother as the town mayor? Had I owned this set I would have made sure a tornado or earthquake struck the concert to up the drama and suspense. 

No Playmates toy would be complete without a really cool bio card. I love how Playmates always had a bio card for every toy line. Mila's bio is interesting. Apparently Mila was a tot TV star. And at the Rock Concert she was going to be making her singing debut. My favorite line is this, "Secretly, Mila knows she's no singer, but her loyal friends have total confidence in her. If only she was a "normal" teenager, people wouldn't expect so much!" I mean Mila, is it too much to ask that you be popular, rich and have the ability to sing? I can't sing. I am sure Mila had nothing to worry about.

The line was sadly a blink and you'll miss it line. I am not quite sure why it did not make it but I still have a fondness for these toys though. Of course, I can't help but wonder whatever became of Mila and her singing career...

Society News Feb. 7, 2012

Realizing that living in Swans Crossing was making her go morally bankrupt, Mila decided to skip town and start a new rock band consisting of rebels, intergalactic back up singers and her dear mummy. Her singing was not the best but free from the confines of money and power, Mila knows her true power is within herself. Just kidding, she totally plans on returning to Swans Crossing with cameras for the next big show, Bravo's Real Housewives of Swans Crossing.

Ok toy fans that is about it for this week's edition of Toy Chest Tuesday! Be sure to check back often as there are some really great things coming up on DiaryofaDorkette! I'm talking reviews. New stories. And toys, toys, and more toys! Also, follow me on Dorkette Tweets. Studies show it will improve your motor skills and make you instantly cooler at grocery stores.

Dorkette Tweets

Technology makes no sense. Especially in this day and age. I work real hard to stay up to date with the 21st Century, but let's be real, I think it is all a pain. Everything changes so fast. I never thought I'd be the kinda person that would grow up fearing technology. I feel like I am a 97 year old. No offense to tech savvy 97 year olds.

Twitter is a hot damn mess of the Age of Tech. As some of you may know I just recently started a Twitter account. I figure it would be a nice way to further connect with people and help them stay "in the know" on whatever I have coming up next. Plus all the really cool things, like how Super Metroid is still one tough ass game all these years later.

Anyway, I don't get Twitter. The whole retweeting and replying to people, I don't get it. None of it makes any sense. Even the Help section confuses me. How do people even do this stuff? I feel so slow and incompetent. And don't even get me started on getting people to follow the damn tweets.

The other day I was with some friends explaining to them that I was on Twitter. One of my friends asked me how many followers I had. We all laughed as I said zero. I then proceeded to joke that I would probably end up with some spam-borg-bot as a follower plotting the end of my tech days. More laughing commenced. It is really nice when you have friends that find you funny.

I wasn't laughing though when I did actually get my first follower. At first I was completely thrilled. Full of wonderment I quickly clicked on the followers link to find out who was following me. I was placing bets with myself that one of my friends decided to follow me out of pity. Except my follower was a young twenty something girl in a string bikini announcing she was in college and looking for hot men.

My first reaction was, "Why is she wanting to follow me? I can't help her find hot men, all of my exes have fled the country. My track record with men is awful." The second reaction was pure fear with the realization that an evil spam cyborg bot thing was following me. I felt like I was really being followed. As if at any minute a scary spam-borg was going to show up at my door ready to eat my brains. Or my She-Ra dolls. Personally I'd rather a spam-borg eat my brains and other internal organs. Leave She-Ra out of this.

Let's go to the sidebar real quick, shall we? Machine/borg/robot people freak me out. That machine thing from Metropolis, totally scary. Trek Borgs? Just grody. However the most horrifying cyborg in the world's history has got to be Vera, that hot mess from Superman 3. Remember that? How could anyone forget. Poor homely Vera was sucked into some computer machine and was turned into a killer crazed cyborg with a bad hair piece.

When I was younger I pretended to be a real badass bitch. I wanted the older kids in the neighborhood to like me because I thought they were so cool. I'd watch the Nightmare on Elm Street films with them, feeling so edgy and laughing at Freddy Krueger's hijinks, all the while having a difficult time sleeping at night. I got scared easily and loved every minute of it.

Except for that scene in Superman 3. I loathed it, yet for some reason I couldn't look away. So one Saturday morning after all the good cartoons had aired my mom wanted to go work out in the flowerbeds by the front door. I was asked to go out with her too, but I was a kid in the '80s. Why was I going to go outside? There was AC, cable and Superman 3 was going to be on.

The plan was all set, my mom would work to perfect the flower beds and I was going to watch Superman 3 in my large Espirit t-shirt with snacks to my right. My only request was that my mom be in the house when the scary scene with Vera came on. I could not be alone in the house with that freakish Vera. My mom didn't quite understand. She thought I could easily just change the channel if it got scary. Sadly technology was pretty challenging for me back then too. The house remote was off limits to me ever since my involvement in the Dynasty Debacle of '85. Mom understood. It was simple enough. Right?

Wrong. The movie quickly came to its terrifying conclusion and I kept looking back at the front door. At any minute my mom was going to walk in and I would be with someone to watch Vera's descent into evil cyborg madness. The film was getting closer to the scene and it was clear that my mom was not coming in. I looked at the remote, heavily contemplating finding a way to get it to work. None of the buttons made any sense and Vera was getting closer...

I did the only thing I was good at. I screamed. I ran to the front door banging as loud as I could. Every now and then I would look back at the television in horror at blasted Vera. She was screaming as metal fused to her skin. My screams matched in intensity as I moved to a nearby window trying to get my mom's attention. She was cleaning some dirt off and looking at me as if I had lost it. I had!

My body crumpled to the floor as I tried to look away from the tv screen. The front door opened and my mom rushed in trying to see what all the fuss was about. I explained to her that I was alone in the house with that horrible movie scene. After that I was forbidden to watch Superman 3. Until it came on again and I'd go right back to it. Like a bug to one of those zappers.

So dear readers, I have issues with spam-borgs. And thankfully as of this posting that follower has disappeared from my Twitter list. Either she realized that I would be useless in her quest for men or she was a clone of Vera, hell bent on my destruction. I will never know. But trust, I will be watching my back. I will also try to learn more about Twitter's features. If technology is tough for me now, I don't even want to imagine what it will be like when I am actually ninety seven. A. Mess.

February 2012 Heroic Hottie

Ok toy fans it is time to reveal a new hottie. Now before the big reveal is said, know this, I had a really hard time deciding who would be the Heroic Hottie for the month of February. I really wanted to show off someone new and fresh, however upon further inspection I realized that we are in the month of February... The month of love and heart shaped candy... There was only one figure that could really be the first Heroic Hottie for February. That hottie is Bow from the Masters of the Universe Classics line.

Bow is quite an interesting character. Growing up I received Bow as a gift for my birthday. Actually the gift consisted of a She-Ra and a Bow and I was in love. He was my boyfriend. Poor Superman had been tossed to the curb. To the left, to the left. I loved how Bow had the heart feature that would "beat" with just the press of a button on his back. He was just a magical toy to me. I also loved him in the cartoon. His affinity for music totally caused me to grow up fawning over dangerous rocker types in garage bands. I have learned many a lesson since then.

Long ago when everyone in the neighborhood was playing with She-Ra toys, my friends who were casual fans would have their She-Ra doll date their (or their brother's) He-Man figure. I always got a laugh out of that because clearly She-Ra and He-Man are twins. No amount of make believe play can change that ick factor.

So I always had my She-Ra and Bow going out on dates. Every now and then Glimmer or Flutterina would try to work their magic on Bow. It never worked. His heart always belonged to She-Ra. He was just a great action figure. Bow was a man of many talents, he could play music, was a great archer, and he was really kind. Of course there was that small minor detail that Adora/She-Ra actually had a thing for Sea Hawk, but my thought on that situation is this: if you find yourself with a dual identity it only makes sense that there'd be a man for each one. Right? (I'm more of a one identity kinda girl, I don't think I could deal with dating more than one man at once. Too much work.)

Of course time would pass, as it always does. Most people would eventually grow up and rid themselves of plastic toys while the hardcore dorkettes and dorks would still remain, carrying the torch for their fallen adult peers. Fans of He-Man and She-Ra would fall into different camps regarding all the various factions in the MOTU mythos. Inevitably some would start to mockingly question Bow's sexuality. This was mostly a backlash from fans who really disliked Princess of Power. From what I have read throughout the years some people who really disliked Bow have spouted out jokes that Bow was gay, a flaming sissy, or basically insert any awful derogatory comment that one can come up with. That impolite banter has always bothered me. For starters I don't think someone's sexuality should ever be put down and degraded. This even goes for an action figure's sexuality. Secondly Bow was never intended to be gay (at least not to my knowledge. And if he was, I was totally crushing up the wrong tree.)

Now here is the thing, I realize that Bow can be whatever a fan wants him to be. But are gay guys really clamoring for Bow to be gay? According to my gay friends, I can have him. They don't see the appeal and kinda think I have issues for having a slight crush on a cartoon and toy character. So regardless if you are straight or gay, let's check out Bow and see what all the fuss is about!

February 2012 Heroic Hottie

Bow



Bow thoroughly enjoys frequenting the Glamazonian clubs on Etheria.

"One of the best things about the clubs on Etheria is that there are dozens of women for every guy." Bow smiles revealing a row of white perfect teeth. When asked what he thought about being the February Heroic Hottie for 2012, Bow had this to say, "I try to be a hero. She-Ra mostly saves the day, but every now and then I come close." When asked for a follow up on this statement She-Ra had this to say, "Bow works very hard to help the Great Rebellion. If we didn't have his moving music and party punch, life would be rather dull. Don't print that."

No stranger to upgrades, Bow recently went under a whole new body transformation about a year ago. He was ready, "I needed to update my look. When you are around gorgeous women in tiny skirts and thigh high boots, you have to look your best. I'm living in paradise. Well, aside from the whole Horde-occupying-the-world thing."   

When asked to describe some of Bow's best features, Glimmer (friend to the blog) couldn't stop gushing, "Just look at that face! He is so handsome! I could get lost in those eyes... And don't even get me started on those biceps."   

Many people from all over Etheria have come near and far to hear Bow play his harp, however it would surprise some to know that he is also an excellent archer. "Not to brag or anything, but I have destroyed my fair share of Horde Troopers. I know how to shoot an arrow with great skill. I never miss my mark." And when that mark happens to be a fair maiden's heart? "Oh I wish Bow would take aim at me, but he has eyes for someone else..." Glimmer says wistfully, wiping tears from her eyes. When asked for more information, Glimmer had to exit the interview. She could be heard sobbing uncontrollably in the ladies room.   

"I like to mix things up. Sometimes my moustache gets me into trouble, so I will shave it off. I like to think that it gives me some mystery." With a rugged face that drives most of Etheria crazy, what about the heart on his chestplate? "Oh my heart. Well it is a funny thing ya know? I've heard that it is wimpy to display a heart on your chest, however I am comfortable with my manhood to proudly display this heart. Besides it only beats for one really special someone..." 

That "someone" would be the one and only She-Ra. Rumored to have been in a long term special friendship, many in Etheria await the day when She-Ra and Bow make something official. "It will never happen!" Purrs Catra. "That special friendship is code for booty call. She-Ra is more interested in something working with that roguish pirate Sea Hawk. It is never going to work between Bow and She-Ra. Silly Bow can never see what is waiting right in front of him." The jealousy and obsession that Catra has for Bow has many calling her cray-cray, but Catra doesn't feel that way. "Why should She-Ra get the love and affection of two gorgeous men! I just need Bow to realize that if he could choose me, I'd be sure to give him some serious cat scratch fever. Maybe I should kidnap him..." A truly bizarre love triangle indeed. 

One thing is for sure though, people everywhere will have plenty to drool over for the month of February! "It is an honor to be the Heroic Hottie this month. I feel very distinguished!" Bow warmly states. There you have it folks, all the information you needed to know about Bow! Be sure to check back soon for more awesomeness! 

Toy Chest Tuesday! Sweet Bee

Hey toy fans. Toy Chest Tuesday is starting right now, so hurry and get your refreshments and snacks. Right now I am enjoying a bag of Sweet Tarts Heart Gummies. They are so good and are only available around Valentine's Day. I love them. Seriously, if it was legal to marry food this is the candy I'd be with for the rest of my life.

Anyways enough of awkardness, let's discuss the toy for this Toy Chest Tuesday! The Princess of Power toyline is no stranger to this blog, so I thought it would be fun to look at Sweet Bee, a real honey of a guide. Released in 1986 Sweet Bee was a part of the illustrious second series from the POP toy line. Mattel spared no expense with this figure because she came with quite a few cool features. Let's check out some pictures!

As you can see Sweet Bee came with a whole lot of pink. And bright yellow. I found nothing wrong with this as a child and in all reality thought the world would be a better place if most of us looked like a gaudy bee lady. The package displayed Starburst She-Ra and Crystal Swift Wind on the upper left corner. Sweet Bee also came with reversible wings, antennae headdress, skirt, shield, comb and a comic. The comic included was entitled A Born Champion. And she was!

Here is a bigger photo of Sweet Bee with even bigger hair. Somewhere Cher and Dolly Parton are dying for a wig like Bee's massive curls. She had a lot of hair that rivaled most of the hair metal bands of the time. Her eye shadow was also bright green, which is probably why some people are scared of her to this day. Most He-Man fans are absolutely terrified of her eventual inclusion into the Masters of the Universe Classics line. Poor Sweet Bee, where is the love?

The back of the card features quite a few things. There is the unique photo of Sweet Bee at the top with brief bio. Below are photos explaining all the greatness of her accessories. Of course no toy would be complete without a full line up of other items to buy. As a child I learned so much about capitalism from Mattel.

The drawing of Sweet Bee on the back was very nice. I really liked all the drawings for the POP gals on their cards. They were full of whimsy and the use of color was always lush. The bio also did a nice job of detailing exactly what Sweet Bee was all about.

"I guide She-Ra and our friends on many adventures. Often I buzz on ahead to find shortcuts. And when it's time to go, I lead us safely home. Even after dark, my glowing antennae and wings guide the way."

The bio makes it sound like she is a car. Anyways do not adjust your screens, her antennae and wings did glow. The three bottom pictures show exactly how awesome Sweet Bee is. Her wings have a pink side and a gold glittery side. The pink side glows in the dark when held in the light. Her fancy antennae piece also glows in the dark. Can I just say toys that glow in the dark are so much fun. MOTU and POP both had numerous characters and pieces that had glow in the dark parts. Love it! 

This last photo shows all the other great toy options for the She-Ra fan. For details on those items head on over to Toy Chest Entrapta.

Sweet Bee of course is much more than just a honey of a guide. She-Ra fans will fondly remember her as being the foil between any notion of a would-be romance between Frosta and He-Man. Poor Frosta had to work it for He-Man to even notice her and we all know how that type of behavior turns out. The most powerful man in the universe does not like a pushy woman. Of course no one really cares who He-Man ends up with, we were all more interested in the claws coming out between Frosta and Sweet Bee. (Truth be told I was always rooting for Frosta. I'm a pushy broad too, what are ya gonna do?)

So that is about it for this week's Toy Chest. If you find yourself wanting to watch some good tv, check out the She-Ra cartoon episode Sweet Bee's Home. It is truly a classic that I have mentioned a few times already. Anyone who thinks that Sweet Bee is a crappy addition to the MOTU mythos needs their reality checked. Until next time!   

Dorkette Book Club: The Last Vampire series

Vampires are an interesting group. When I was a grunge goddess teen I actually had a crush on a guy who briefly believed he was a vampire. He would point to a star and say that was his original home world. He thought my legs were delectable. The whole thing was exciting and moody, like a dark gothic romance novel. That is until he coughed up blood and wanted to give it to me. (I bet Elizabeth Taylor never had to deal with that.) Needless to say things did not work out. At. All. Quirky romance is cute and all until it turns into an episode of CSI.

Why is it that vampire stories insist on being connected to some morose depressing love story? I completely get the draw with the first bite. Titillating as that may be, I do find myself growing restless. These tales always involve some vampire guy who either wants to bed a human or eat everything in sight. Binge eating vampires are boring (I wanted to like the new Fright Night, honest) and I am quickly losing interest in sparkly guy, sad girl, and the freaky hybrid baby.

Enough of this mess, and the solution is not a change to all things zombie or all things ghosts. I think we can all appreciate creepy monster stories and do not have to rely on the whole, "Zombies are in right now. No wait, now it is killing cyborgs." I want to see it all, but please make it good. I love my vampires, zombies, ghosts, crazed robots, all of it. I even like a good silent story. (I don't think my local theater will ever be showing The Artist. Sigh squared.)

A solution to all this nonsense is for more people to look into the classics. The Last Vampire was written by Christopher Pike and it was a 6 part series that chronicled the life of Sita/Alisa the last vampire on Earth. Of course there have been recent added editions to the series, but I have yet to read them. The first 6 came out in the early nineties and I ate them up.

This series was so exciting because the main character was a 5,000 year old ass kicking female vampire that was always trying to solve a mystery. She'd thirst for revenge. Also there was always someone, or something, wanting her dead. Being the last vampire and all, that never really sat well with her. So through six books Sita made friends, experienced love(s), faced all kinds of enemies, came to terms with having an evil child, became a human and then vampire again, this is all just a brief skim over the surface folks. I loved these books so much, there was so much action, suspense, and even some romance. More importantly the story involved a strong multi-faceted female, something that I think there should be more of in this world.

Of course the ending of the 6th book was a total shock. One of Sita's friends throughout the series was a nerdy guy named Seymour. He was always helping Sita gather information that she needed for her missions. He was also HIV positive and dying. In a touching moment Sita gave some of her blood to cure him (this occured in a previous book.) Seymour was going to live, which was rare in this series because most everyone died. By the end of the final book though everything was turned upside down.

The whole series wasn't real. Sita was merely a made up character by Seymour. He was writing his latest, and possibly last, story while trying to live with HIV. It was a beautiful story and I was completely overcome with emotion. For six books I had been reading about this heroine who was not real! I was also made aware of certain realities of life. At that time I had never read a thing about HIV. Look, I was a clueless pre-teen living in the suburbs. Whatever I knew was from the news, and the news had done everything to scare and stereotype the issue at that time. This story was so amazing because it got me to work on not being as clueless about life around me; to realize that there was a much bigger and more complicated world out there than just my little slice of suburbia. Here's the thing, that clueless pre-teen suburban girl would eventually grow up and as a young woman become friends with a guy that would end up contracting HIV. And I like to think that I was able to be a source of support for him instead of being scared and judgmental. Not what one would expect from a scary vampire thriller huh?

To top everything off, word on the street is that there is a movie in the works. Now this is something I could really rally around! I would love nothing more than for this series to be turned into a really awesome movie. Of course with the ending of the 6th book, I have no clue how the 7th and 8th novel tie into the whole series. Either way I will be looking forward to any news, because I think it is about time that this series got its chance to shine in the spotlight.

Here are some pictures from some of the books in the series!

Front of a collection of the first three books

Back of the book

Cover image to the 3rd book: Red Dice

Cover to 4th book

Back of the 4th book

These books are still out now, though they currently have very different covers. If anyone out there likes a good vampire story and has yet to read these, give them a shot! Granted you now know how they end, but don't let that stop you! The ending didn't stop Christopher Pike, he went ahead and made two new ones.

I also have a fun new announcement! Diary of a Dorkette is on Twitter! I'm tweeting like that yellow bird from Loony Tunes. This is gonna be a hot damn mess! Follow me @DorketteTweets. The world is just not going to be ready for this. (More like I am not going to be ready for this since I am so ass backwards with technology.) Anyways, until next time!

Toy Chest Tuesday! Captain Planet's Dr. Blight!!

Remember when it was cool to protect the planet? Where our greatest resource was Earth itself and poor rain forests were being wiped out entirely? How were we going to breathe? We needed a savior. A hero that was ready to save Earth, the ultimate damsel in constant distress. Jesus was busy. Enter: Captain Planet and the Planeteers!!!

Captain Planet and the Planeteers was an interesting cartoon. I can't think of any other time in my life when I wanted to defend Earth from pollution more. What better way to do that then by collecting plastic figures? But hey, at least some of the toy packaging was made from recycled materials. These toys were green before going green was even a "thing."

I loved the cartoon and toy line. First of all it was so cool to see a cast of Planeteer heroes hail from various countries with different ethnicities. I really liked learning about all the multi-cultures instead of everyone looking like they came out of a bag of Wonder Bread. Each teen had their own special ring that called upon Captain Planet and controlled one of the elements including a new fifth magical element called Heart, which was pretty lame even for my standards. I mean the heart is my favorite shape for crying out loud, but let's be real. Either way it all just seemed so eco-cool though didn't it?

Enough of the do-gooders! The villains were just as cool, which is why this Toy Chest Tuesday we'll be looking at Dr. Blight, the devious and demented biochemical genius! (And is this ever a hot mess of a toy!) Let's check out some pictures!

Isn't she just pure fun? Decked out in a magenta jump suit with rubber looking gloves and boots, this chick means business. She wants to wreak Earth like a lusty Bree Van de Kamp in a dive bar. Dr. Blight also comes with her evil accomplice, the Mal Evil Computer!  

My favorite thing about Dr. Blight is her hair action feature. I love that behind that sultry hair is a charred toxic mess. I really felt like an edgy rebel owning this anti-pretty toy with missing eye. Can I just say though that I have always loved the idea of hair covering part of the face all seductive like. Jessica Rabbit had the look down and I always wanted my hair to do that too. Until, of course, I actually did and then it just looked goofy. (As much as my heart breaks, I am no Jessica Rabbit.)

Here is a better picture of the Mal Evil computer. The face actually looks like that Dr. Wily alien thing from Mega Man 2. And here are some interesting factoids: Meg Ryan briefly voiced the vile Dr. Blight in the cartoon for some episodes while Tim Curry was Mal Evil for a couple years too. How cool is that? I mean this cartoon had a touch of gravitas to it!

This picture shows all the interesting stuff occurring on the back of the card. As you can see Dr. Blight was the only female from the first series in the Captain Planet toy line. Of course she was. Why on Earth would a toy company release numerous females in a 1st series toy line? That would just be crazy. Le sigh. 

At the top of the card Captain Planet wants to give us all a friendly environmental tip. (Feel free to read it over.) I like how this tip predates the whole concept of stores selling reusable shopping bags for $1.99. Along with the eventual obsession of bulk buying at Sam's and Costco. Oh Captain Planet you were so on trend.

"Collect them all!" the yellow banner says with excitement. Here were the offerings for the 1st series Captain Planet figures. There was:

Captain Planet- Powerful environmental super hero with mullet.

Planeteer Wheeler- With the power of Fire! (He also had power over the butterflies in my stomach.)

Kwame and Ma-Ti- Planeteers Kwame and Ma-Ti with the power of Earth and Heart. Goodness that Heart element was really goofy, though not as goofy as my seductive hair look.

Verminous Skumm- King size sewer-rat villain who just happens to look like Vincent from Final Fantasy VII, with a need for a nose job stat.

Dr. Blight- Devious and demented biochemical genius.

Duke Nukem- Walking nuclear radiation accident and no relation to the Thing or the video game action star (honestly!)

This trading card also gives out a brief bio of Dr. Blight. God I love trading cards with bios on them. This bio has got to be the best bio in the history of toy bio cards. Seriously. Check it out for yourself but here are a few of my favorite quotes...

"She has previously tried to create the perfect human, and has tested some of her experiments on herself first." (That's a bad bitch.)

"Dr. Blight is now so demented that she even flirts with her computer..." (Holy cow this is a hot mess and totally addresses most people in the 21st Century.)

Dr. Blight was truly one of my favorite toys. In fact when I was younger I had two and just recently nabbed this mint version. What a great toy from a great cartoon. Now the biggest question of all is when will we see this cartoon and toy line return? I want a reboot, because the Earth is silently crying, waiting for a hero; with green mullet hair. Just remember folks...  

The Power Is Yours!

(see you next time)

New Ghoul

Do girls ever grow up wanting to be dorky? Let's ponder this quickly, shall we? I don't really recall there being dorky female role models when I was younger. In fact after a certain age it was expected that I would grow up and get over my issues with wanting to own toys and comics. The messages were loud and clear, "Only people with no lives end up collecting toys for the rest of their pathetic days. You are a pretty girl, you'll make someone happy one day, but not with that collection. Grow up."

I never really grew up. My crazy white girl self still gets a thrill out of the newest She-Ra release or finding that rare item on a Toys-R-Us shelf. I keeps it real. Real dorky. And though some Toys-R-Us cashier folk look at me kinda strange when I buy stuff and do not require a gift receipt, it is all good. People should be able to collect whatever they want no matter their age.

In fact it would appear that as of late there has been some recent movements to have dorky girls be cool and a regular fact of life. Thanks to Zooey and her show New Girl there has been this "adorkable" moment on television right now. But is it really dorky? I watch her show and I just have to say, she could be dorkier. To start with I love the show, but really Zooey? Really? The only dorky things her character Jess does is act goofy, sing her own theme songs, and wear hipster clothes. I need more! I need to see her geek out in a toy aisle because they reissued some vintage figure. Or she needs to have a serious conversation regarding her thoughts with the latest issue of Uncanny X-Men and if Jean Grey will be coming back or not. She must have a comic in her hand at some point. Because that is real dork stuff ok folks? Hipster dresses does not a dork make.

There is a point to all of this dear readers. As I mentioned, when I grew up in the Dark Ages there were no comic clutched dorkettes for me (and other mini-dorkettes) to look up to. I grew up believeing I'd be shunned from society because I insisted that mermaids were real. What the hell! However we are no longer living in the Dark Ages. Mini-dorkettes have many more possibilities for living a nice healthy dork lifestyle well into their nineties. This is all thanks to certain items that are on shelves today. Might we really be finding ourselves in the Dork Ages? (It's happening all around us.)

Monster High dolls, made by Mattel, are these "scary" creature dolls that are the children of famous monsters (i.e. Dracula, the Werewolve, and the Mummy to name a few.) There are the dolls, each with their own pet and personality that plays off the typical high school archetypes; play sets featuring things like a coffin bed; and extra clothing sets for the monstrous teens. One particular clothing set offers outfits for certain "School Clubs." There is the Fashion Entrepreneur's Club that Clawdeen Wolf is a part of. Draculaura is a member of the Newspaper Club, which is so funny because the vampire's age is ancient. Just like the newspaper. Sports fan Abbey Bominable enjoys the Snowboarding Club. However I think the Comic Book Club is by far the best.

Ghoulia Yelps (daughter of the Zombies) is the character that goes with the Comic Book Club attire. She is a zombie and according to her bio is one of the smartest teens at Monster High, though she only speaks zombie and moves incredibly slow. (Didn't we all move slow in high school? I just wanted to sleep.)

Let's look at the Comic Book Club item.

This set comes with a head band, t-shirt and denim skirt. I love that the headband and denim skirt have a real "brainy" look. Miss Yelps also has a pair of ankle boots, bangles, and glasses to round out the outfit, though nothing is complete without her Deadfast mint on card action figure and Deadfast comic. How funny that she loves reading about a hero named Deadfast when she is dead slow. (Ah the joys of zombie humor.) Oh, a trading card is also included.

If we take a peek at the back of the box we can see the other outfit choices for everyone's favorite Monster High students.

I think Ghoulia is my favorite. How cool is it that mini-dorkettes (and full grown dorkettes) have the chance to collect something that is like a love letter to dorky folk everywhere? When I was younger there was nothing on the shelves that could celebrate and make cool the idea of being in a Comic Book Club. How awesome would it have been to go to Comic Book Club meetings in high school? I mean we would have all been made fun of until the end of time, but it would have been worth it!

Anyways these dolls are really fun even if the actual sculpts look like they could use a brain sandwich or two. They do bring forth a nice alternative to the pretty normal dolls out on the market right now and I think that is a good thing. Though the verdict is out on what the Hardcore Goth Society thinks about them. (Are they friend or foe?) Either way I just hope that kids these days know it is alright to be dorky and to never stop collecting to their hearts content! Now if everyone else could get that message...