Swans Crossing was a line of doll figures that were based off of the teen drama of the same name in 1992. I never really watched much of the Swans Crossing show because it lasted for like three months. I could never quite catch the airing schedule (this was before recorded television) and by the time I was ready to watch, the show was gone. However the toys were so much fun because the characters were all like Nene Leakes: very rich. Since I wasn't rich at all I enjoyed these glitzy characters with their popular friendships and shiny cars. I also didn't have any friends in '92. Oh, here is an interesting factoid: Sarah Michelle Gellar played Sydney Rutledge on the show. Sydney was the daughter of the mayor.
Anyways let's look at some pictures of Rock Concert Mila Rosnovsky!
The packaging for Mila was quite simple. There were various drawings depicting rich teen life in Swans Crossing. Horseback riding and Country Club Sports. Evening parties. Random columns and a sailboat. It's the way the wealthy live! Once these toys came out I had briefly flirted with the idea of learning to horseback ride. It was very Betty Draper before we even knew the Drapers. However I am not big on being outside all on account that you really can't watch soaps or cartoons. Anyways Mila came with a set of musical instruments and a comb.
Here is Mila decked out in her awesome '90s finest. The fashions were a big part of this toy line. The thing that originally drew me to this figure was the boots. Ever since Frosta walked around in her thigh high boots, I have always loved boots that went over the knee. When I was much younger I had asked my mom for a pair of boots that went over the knee. She just about died in her steps and replied, "Good girls do not wear boots over the knee. You don't want to be a trashy girl do you?" Well if looking like Frosta or Mila meant I was trashy, than so be it. Of course after my mom and I both survived my turbulent teen years she didn't really care what kind of boots I wore as long as I wasn't rolling my eyes and yelling all the time. (The ironic thing is that now she would be the one to rock some thigh high boots. I've been told something just changes after you turn 40.)
The back of the card had an interesting way of showing the other toys in the Swans Crossing line. Set up like a Society Section of a newspaper, certain social events described who was who in Swans Crossing and just who you'd be wanting to add to your collection next. Interested in more?
There was a sporty collection of the characters. Sarah Michelle Gellar's character was Sydney (far left.) So here is my confession that is connected to something I wrote earlier, I have always liked SMG. And her horseback riding figure was actually the main reason I wanted to horseback ride too. I really wanted to be like her. (Don't even get me started on when she was Buffy.) Anyways as creepy as that all sounds the part I love best in this section was: J.T. Adams pitcher for the Swans, was voted "Most Improved Player." Yeah. We all know it was his use of Big League Chew that was his vast improvement.
The Swans Dance Blast was one of my favorites. Not only did Swans fans get to see their teen idols decked out in shiny fun dresses, but "the big question of the evening was which lucky teen beauty would spend the evening dancing in the arms of super-hunk Garrett Booth? Sydney? Mila?" Swans Crossing fans had to make that up in their imaginary play. And since I was missing most of these toys, the cat fights only happened in my mind. Do you see why I didn't have any friends in '92? Let alone a date to the Swans Dance Blast!
The Slumber Social marked the realization that I was truly a sad and desperate dorkette. First of all I hated slumber parties. Partly because I had only ever been invited to one, at the age of 5, and the other reason was due to the fact that nothing is better than sleeping in your own bed. Secondly the whole description of the "most outrageous slumber party" had me green with envy. (You know they were going to be eating snacks!) I wanted to be included in a group where someone would honor the party after a friend. Or where "good-girl Glory and Callie (that mysterious new girl in town) supplied the gossip and the popcorn." (See! Snacks!) The only gossip I knew of was on my soaps and we all know how that has turned out.
The next section of social news addressed the Rock Bash being a hit. This was a cool set. Though the premise was a great capture of the times with a Rock the Vote theme. Could you just imagine being a teen and being part of a concert to help with the re-election of your mother as the town mayor? Had I owned this set I would have made sure a tornado or earthquake struck the concert to up the drama and suspense.
No Playmates toy would be complete without a really cool bio card. I love how Playmates always had a bio card for every toy line. Mila's bio is interesting. Apparently Mila was a tot TV star. And at the Rock Concert she was going to be making her singing debut. My favorite line is this, "Secretly, Mila knows she's no singer, but her loyal friends have total confidence in her. If only she was a "normal" teenager, people wouldn't expect so much!" I mean Mila, is it too much to ask that you be popular, rich and have the ability to sing? I can't sing. I am sure Mila had nothing to worry about.
The line was sadly a blink and you'll miss it line. I am not quite sure why it did not make it but I still have a fondness for these toys though. Of course, I can't help but wonder whatever became of Mila and her singing career...
Society News Feb. 7, 2012
Realizing that living in Swans Crossing was making her go morally bankrupt, Mila decided to skip town and start a new rock band consisting of rebels, intergalactic back up singers and her dear mummy. Her singing was not the best but free from the confines of money and power, Mila knows her true power is within herself. Just kidding, she totally plans on returning to Swans Crossing with cameras for the next big show, Bravo's Real Housewives of Swans Crossing.