Toy Chest Tuesday! Wish World Kids

Hello toy fans! I hope everyone has been doing well and enjoying the week so far. I have some stories to tell you all, but that will have to wait for another day, because today is Toy Chest Tuesday!!! Today we are going to look at Kenner's Wish World Kids. Now my issue with this week's Toy Chest is that we won't actually be seeing the toy. Just the box. Not to sound like a killjoy but I have been too nervous to open this awesome vintage find. However I will be revisiting this toyline and showing some cool items at another time!

So what were the Wish World Kids? It was the late 80's and having your toys transform into things was very chic. Wish World Kids took the Transformers concept and created a world where kids had keys that would change their everyday objects and rooms into fantastic playsets. For example one set included a normal desk with boring homework that could change into an awesome entertainment center. What a perfect toy! Let's look at some pictures!

Here is the front of the box. This particular set is called the Toll'n Roll Clock. Basically a silly old teal clock transforms into a sporty bowling alley. Edy doll included! The dolls were really short and came with really cool 80's clothes and bad hair. Seriously, Kenner didn't give these dolls enough hair. Most of the doll's head was just painted in a hair-like color while the rest of the hair would be styled to look like a comb over. Or in some cases a flip over. Just messy really.  

This picture is from the top of the box, it shows the steps involved with transforming the clock into the bowling alley. I always thought the Wish World Kids were really rich. I mean who has a clock that can also change into a bowling alley? Or a reading lounge chair that can turn into a speedy roadster? Some of these playsets looked small but could fold out and change into something huge! Not Unicron huge, but pretty big either way.

The back of the box also goes into further detail about everything you can do with this fun toy.

Picture 1: (From top left) You can move the clock hands! (Soo much fun right!)

Picture 2: Put the pins in place and...

Picture 3: Bowl a strike! (How awesome that the toy can actually bowl!)

Picture 4: How many pins can you knock down? (Now I feel like this is something from Sesame Street, we just need the Count.)

Picture 5: Edy has removeable fashions for having fun at home and at the bowling alley! (What I don't understand is, how much fun can you have with a clock? The bowling alley I understand, but the clock? Really?)

Another section on the back of the box may give some clues about Picture 5. Here is the description about the Wish World Kids line. "Wish World Kids dolls have a 'magic' wish key that pretends to open a wonderful world filled with fun and play. When the Wish World Kids wish really hard, and pretend to use their Wish Key, their furniture changes into fun places." So that kinda sucks, the dolls are basically pretending. Which means that delusional Edy has to actually play with a clock. That is a sad life. I like the idea that these kids are rich and have high tech furniture made of Energon or something else.

There needed to be some evil Wish World Kids though. One set could have been like a garden that turned into a toxic waste dump. The evil Wish Kids could have plotted ways to ruin the wishes of the good kids, or found ways to tear up the magical pretend furniture. Doesn't that sound like fun? (Don't answer that.) Just think though, the evil kids could have looked like Garbage Pail Kids! Now that would have been neat!

The storyline needed to be better though. After all Hasbro created a world where the leader of the Decepticons could turn into a gun, and people's rides were Autobots. Surely Kenner could have created an interesting storyline for Wish World Kids other than some bored kids pretending to have keys around their necks that "changed" furniture. I fell for it as a kid though, hook, line, and sinker. Regardless if they were pretending or not, these toys were really fun and cute. I will be sure to do a larger piece on them in the future, and even share a story or two about how I had gotten my first one!  

That is it for this week's edition of Toy Chest Tuesday! I have some fun things coming up this week, I'll be sharing with you all my harrowing tale of visiting a scary Toysrus full of Toy Bandits. We will also get to see a new weekly event, that I decided will be called "Trashy or Timeless." And, there might be a new Night of the Living Roach! Check back soon!

State of the 21st Century Dorkette

It isn't easy being a dorkette in the 21st century. In all honesty I'm sure it hasn't been easy for dorkettes in any century, but the 21st century is the one I'm in currently and I am here to say it is not easy. Dorky guys have made large social changes in the last 100 years. It has become more acceptable for a guy to be nerdy and obssessed with collecting toys or whatever. Male super hero movies have been released at an all time high. It is chic to date a nerdy guy, there has been countless stories to prove this point. There is nothing shocking about grown men playing video games (well really anyone, male or female, that has grown up since Atari and Nintendo were created likes video games to some degree, I don't care who you are.)

However if you are a dorky girl, there are some road blocks you have to face. On paper the idea of dorky girls existing in the world should be awesome. Nerdy guys would have someone to mate with. Fashion would dictate that wearing a Phoenix costume to work is perfectly normal. These things would all make sense.

That is not always the case. Did you know, that for every nerdy guy that finds a dorky girl attractive there are, on average, 10 other guys that are a little put off by a girl who reads comics or thinks Tetris should be an Olympic sport? (Don't ask me where this came from, I have suddenly forgotten.) The whole world of collecting figures, video games, super heroes, has always been deemed a world for men. Mostly nerdy men, but men. Or so says the larger society.

So when a girl stands up and shouts, "Hey, I like those things too!" funny things can happen. For the most part, dorky people everywhere tend to unite. I have been very happy to know that a lot of guys think it is awesome that there are girls out there that are bigger dorks than most men. The larger society though is where it really gets tricky. A lot of people just don't understand dorkettes. People have just recently started to understand dorks, but tell a non-dork that girls can be dorks too, and a wave of confusion washes over the non-dork. Got it?

For example, I will share a recent story about Lego Minifigures. The brilliant minds at Lego thought it would be in everyone's best interest to fall in love with unique Lego people. So throughout the past couple years Lego has been releasing these waves of minifigures. They are cute. I am totally addicted. Here is a picture of the latest series of minifigures, Series 5:

So as you can see they are really cute. This new series consists of an Egyptian Queen, a Cavewoman, a Mobster, they even managed to bring in the clowns with a really fun Clown character. The catch about these minifigures is that you have no idea which one you are getting. They are like blind grab bag items. In order to really find the one you want, you have to literally poke, grope, and prod through many bags. It is like an episode of the Bachelor or Bachelorette. Except no one gets a rose or an STD.

Whenever a new series hits the stores, I am always filled with anxiety. Will I search and find the ones that I want? Will Toysrus have to throw me out for hoarding over the minifigure box while simultaneously scaring away other customers? Let me tell ya, it is a lot to deal with.

Recently I visited my second home (the local Toysrus) and they had the Series 5 minifigures! I quietly went about searching for the minifigures I wanted, so as not to draw any attention. The last thing I wanted was a large group of people descending upon me and trying to mess up my chi. After what seemed like an hour (more like 40 minutes) I had found most of the minifigures I wanted.

I proceeded to march my happy self to the check out and be on my merry way. That is when it happened. I got caught in a dorkette conundrum. The friendly cashier was checking my items out (don't ask how many minifigures I had) and she exclaimed, "Wow! Looks like you are gonna make some Lego fan really happy!" I smiled and said, "No, they are for me." The look on her face, she was simply lost. I had completely thrown her off gaurd. I know what she was thinking, how in the world could this grown ass woman be buying a slew of Lego minifigures for herself? Is the world coming to an end?

Now I could have lied. I could just have easily said, "These Lego minifigures are a birthday gift for a small child." Lord knows I have lied in the past. Typically my lies are as follows, "Oh yes, this toy is for my nephew. A gift receipt would be perfect!" Or, "Oh I am so excited! My niece will just flip over this Barbie doll!" There was even one time when I really got caught up in a dorkette conundrum and lied about having a child. Seriously. Sadly that lie spiraled way out of control. The cashier asked if I had a kid, I lied and said yes. I continued the lie and said how my son loved Marvel super hero toys. As it turned out, her son loved Marvel super hero toys too. I then had to think on my toes and make up an age for my imaginary child, because the cashier asked. My fake son was 6. Her very real son was 7. Shit. Before I knew it I was having this long drawn out conversation about having a son and how the local school system was damaged. I was freaking out. I knew at any minute the cashier was going to say that our kids should get together for a play date or something. It was awful.

This is why I could not lie about the Lego minifigures at Toysrus. I knew I needed to stand tall and embrace my being a stone cold dorkette. It isn't easy. A lot of people look at me strangely. My mom and dad thought I was going to be a spinster forever, the old woman with her figures and dolls. A lot of men never called for a second date. My own husband was dubious, he hadn't realized the existence of dorkettes until I entered the picture. It took going to a comic event for him to really see that, "They do exist."

I sometimes think it is the way I look. I don't know. From my experience in the section of the world I live in, there are two main stereotypes for how a dorkette can look. One is the nice old lady look, chock full of permed hair and pastel separates. (Who doesn't at least know one 70+ woman that collects dolls of some kind? That classifies as a dorkette folks.) The second is the "alternative" look. Now alternative is a funny word because technically we are all an alternative to something. What I mean is like the girl with the hot pink or purple hair. Or the girl with the facial piercing and/or tattoo. Even the girl who wears the Japanime fetish wear or a rock band shirt could count. I feel like that type of image is more acceptable by the larger society. It all "makes sense." Because of course the girl in the Slayer shirt is also going to like the X-Men. I think.  

With me, I don't look like that. I have dyed my hair many colors through the years, but only once has the color really been something different. I had blue hair for a day in 1995. It washed out. I have never pierced or inked myself. And the days of me wearing a plaid school girl skirt with Doc Martens are long gone. I am too old for that. Besides I really prefer my skyscraper stilettos as I cautiously approach 30.

So what to do? I think I am just gonna start embracing the truth. I will be proud to buy my addictions upfront and not lie that they are for someone else. I will hold my head high when people shockingly stare at me when I passionately talk about She-Ra or having Jem and the Holograms viewing parties. Everything will be ok. And little by little, people will start to see that dorkettes are everywhere. We exist and though some of us may look the part, others are able to quietly exist in the world, mixing in with the dorks and non-dorks alike! Like mutants! Because trust this, I will not be wearing pastel separates. Ever.



    

Toy Chest Tuesday! Princess Allura

Hello dear readers! Can you believe it is another Toy Chest Tuesday already? The week just seems to fly by. So today we are going to look at something really special. Princess Allura from Voltron: Defender of the Universe! Alright here is a little tidbit about Princess Allura, remember folks, every good toy needs a backstory. In the 80's I was the quintessential girly girl. Anything swathed in pink had my seal of approval. Those pink Barbie doll boxes? Sold. The card backs for Princess of Power toys? Really sold. And of course there was Princess Allura from Voltron.

I was not the biggest fan of the old Voltron cartoon, but I would watch it. The basic premise was that a group of space pilots each rode a specific robotic lion. The individual lions would join together to form Voltron, a larger robot that was the defender of the universe. Voltron battled against King Zarkon and his various robeasts that hailed from Planet Doom. (Not a place most people would go to vacation I imagine.)

Anyways each episode was basically the same. The pilots would face a new threat from King Zarkon, each one more strange than the last. The heroes would soon ride in their lions fighting and trying to stop the enemies until they'd need to form Voltron and usually split the enemy in half with Voltron's blazing sword. That was really it. 

The toys were what really got me interested in the show. Most notably Princess Allura. I never had the Voltron toys when I was younger, but my cousin did. I loved playing toys with my cousin, he always had the coolest stuff. Of course I never understood why he wanted Princess Allura from Voltron. I was like, "Clearly Allura likes pink. As do I. So therefore I should get to keep her." I was a bit of a diva. I'd beg and plead for him to give me his Princess Allura toy. I'd even offer to trade my own toys for her. However my cousin was not interested in Day to Night Barbie, Sweet Secrets,  or my assortment of She-Ra dolls.

Looking back I can't even believe I would offer to part with my She-Ra dolls for Princess Allura. That is just crazy! Anyways time marched on as it always does and I eventually got over not having a Princess Allura toy. Now fast forward to the present. As an adult with computer access to Ebay, it was only a matter of time before I would buy my very own Princess Allura figure! And here she is! 

This is the package she came in. Allura comes with a helmet and lion key. When I got this I was slightly let down, I had forgotten how small she was. Other than that, I think she is awesome!

Here is a closer picture. I loved the pink boots. I have also had a very difficult time deciding if I should open her or not. I feel like it would be awful to open such a national treasure. Plus with Mattel revisioning the classic Voltron toys in 2012, it might make more sense for this vintage find to stay minty fresh.

This is the back of the package. The top picture is an adventure scene depicting a Voltron story. There is also a bio card of Allura in her traditional gown. She is seen holding a space mouse, which were actually really cute from the cartoon. I don't normally tend to like mice or other rodents, but I could actually keep a space mouse as a pet. Well probably just a toy version.

Here is a larger picture of the adventure scene. In it we find Allura piloting the blue lion into the Arusian Sea to save her friends, Keith, Lance, Pidge, and Hunk. Hunk was my favorite guy character. He was actually a hunk, his name described him perfectly. I always thought he was cute, and he is sooo adorable in the new cartoon. I also realize how sad it is that I find a cartoon character to be cute. I also love that Allura crashed into the sea and is waving to her friends as if to say, "Hey ya'll! I just crashed into this body of water to save everyone! Let's party!"

Anyway here is my thing about Allura. I recently began watching the old episodes of Voltron in preparation of the new Voltron on Nick Toons. I have to say, vintage toon Allura is incredibly annoying! I was like, "Say it ain't so!" Ok so the original five pilots were Keith, Lance, Pidge, Hunk and Sven. In the beginning these guys get into the lions and have no problem driving them. They could drive the lions in their sleep, no big deal. Got it?

So something happens to Sven and he ends up out of commission. Naturally Allura steps in to pilot the blue lion. Now explain to me why homegirl can't drive for nothin! For like the whole first season she can't drive the blue lion at all and just wrecks a bunch of shit. I'm like really? Why does the only main girl on the show have to look like she can't drive the blue lion? Especially when these lions come from her home planet! Shouldn't she already instinctively know how to drive them? Really?

Stuff like that annoys me so much. I know at the end of the day it doesn't matter because it is an old cartoon, but girls need to represent in these shows. Silly me-as-the-fool ends up in life or death debates with hulking nerd guys and there is just no way I can justify Allura as being the coolest lion pilot. Those rough and tough nerdy guys just chew me up and spit me out. Come on Allura, get it together! 

Thank goodness she seems to have some more sense and skills in the updated cartoon. I mean really. If She-Ra can pick up a large Horde ship and throw it across the galaxy surely Allura can avoid crashing the blue lion into the side of a mountain. That's all I'm askin for. 

Here is another larger picture of Allura's bio card. Her home planet is Arus. She pilots the blue lion. The secret location of the blue lion is at the lake surrounding her huge castle. The interlock position of the blue lion forms the right leg of Voltron. Personality wise she is brave, beautiful, and kind. (And she can't drive.) She is also the daughter of the late King Alfor and is the sovereign leader of the people of Arus.

On a related note, let's look at the timeline between the old cartoon and the current one. I think she totally hooked up with Keith and Lance. I believe with all my heart that the red headed girl on the new cartoon is actually Allura's daughter, not her niece! I see so much unanswered longing and tension between Allura and those two men. I can see it now, they both loved her and she got to business with them both. One of them knocked her up and she ran off to give birth and has been lying that the baby is her niece. I mean Allura has no siblings! How can she have a niece? That is her daughter! See this is what growing up with All My Children and One Life to Live does to a person!

So that is it for this edition of Toy Chest Tuesday! I'm thinking of doing a new profile on toys too! It is tentatively going to be called "Trashy or Timeless?" I plan on looking at certain toys and dolls from my collection and letting us ask ourselves the most important question, is it trashy or timeless? Get ready folks, it is gonna get real dorky, real quick!

Night of the Living Roach 3: A New Breed

To learn more about the recent events from Night of the Living Roach, check out

Night of the Living Roach 2: The Return

Night of the Living Roach

And now, prepare for...

Night of the Living Roach 3

A New Breed

A few days have passed since the lovely Miss M survived the horrible events of Dumpstor's attack and the dangerous journey into the Attic. With April O'Neil 1st edition out of the Attic, Miss M finds herself taking April and Mermista to the Spa Sink. Centrally located in the downstairs Restroom, the Spa Sink is a luxurious sink that the Action Figure Heroes go to for rest and rejuvenation. April needs work to remove a sticky film from the Attic while Mermista is still hoping to get her hair detangled.

Miss M is lathering up Mermista with some Herbal Essence goodness while Mermista and April are catching up. April looks around the Restroom, "Things have changed so much. I mean look at M, I can't believe how much she has changed! She grew up!"

Mermista nods, "Yeah, she has grown all up." April leans back soaking up all the suds in the Spa Sink. She looks at Mermista with the goop in her hair, "What happened to your hair Mermista?" The PoP toy wistfully looks at April and looks back to the past, "M put me and the gang in a box in the Attic. It got so hot in there, well you know how it was up there April. Anyway time passed and I wanted to brush my hair. What else do you do when you are in a box and everyone is trying to look their best? The problem was that my lucky comb was nowhere near." April rolls her eyes, "How sad. I've never had rooted hair so I can't comprehend. Unless you count my Ravishing variant. I'd like to personally forget."

Mermista ignores the comment and continues her story, "Well either way Barbie was rooming with us, and she was so sweet to let me borrow her brush. Only her brush was huge and caused a mess, my hair was incredibly tangled and never the same. I also think Catra had her hand in the problem too, she is so moody sometimes."

April O'Neil groans, "Oh please, be glad jacked up hair is your only problem. I have been misplaced! I got lost from my original box. I have been living with old baby toys. Fearing my life from hordes of Roaches! And now I'm back. Only to find that my variants have been living the high life. I'm a first edition! And all I've got is this sticky jumpsuit to show for it!" 

Miss M interrupts the women, "Alright, I'm gonna let you two relax a little bit. I will be back." M leaves the room and heads towards the Kitchen. The house is quiet. Her brother is resting in his room. M's parents are nowhere to be found. Our lovely heroine is in the Kitchen looking for her slippers and possibly a bite to eat for lunch. 

"I thought I put them in here..." M tells herself looking around the Kitchen floor. She eventually finds them and slides her right foot into one slipper. Her left foot goes into the other slipper. The slippers are hot pink with a slight heel. They are completely cute and only the best for the supple M. For some reason though the pedicured toes on her left foot feel something inside the slipper. 

"What?" M asks herself, confusion spreading across her mind. What is she feeling? There is a tickle that spreads across her foot and M kicks the slipper off. A Roach staggers out of the slipper, it is Sky-Spy. Miss M lets out a blood curdling scream as she realizes what was touching her toes. Sky-Spy hisses, "You wench, what did you do to Dumpstor?"

"You'll never find him!" M screams and tries to rush off. Sky-Spy spreads his wings and flies towards her. M continues to scream as the Roach zooms near her flawless face. There has never been a moment in her life where this type of Roach breed has tried to kill her. A flying Roach, trying to gouge her eyes out? What is the world coming to?

Miss M runs across the Kitchen grabbing a large butcher knife from a drawer. "Come after me you bastard!" M is swinging the knife in the air at Sky-Spy. The flying Roach is hissing at her trying to dodge the attacks. M screams for help. 

Those screams make it to her brother Markiki. His bedroom door opens and his footsteps race down the hall, "M? M? What is going on?" He rushes into the Kitchen and sees his sister brandishing a knife. "What is going on M?"

"A ROACH!!!! Behind you!!!" M screams. Markiki turns as Sky-Spy flies towards him. Markiki ducks and looks at his sister, "Your on your own, I'm not down with this!" Markiki runs off to his room locking the door behind him.

"Markiki!!! Help me!" M runs down the hall as Sky-Spy throws her against the wall. The flying Roach hisses in her ear, "I'm going to eat your flesh." M screams, "Never!" Her hands slap the Roach away. "Oh God I touched it!" M screams again and races down the hall to her room, trying to get to safety. 

Racing past the Restroom April and Mermista hear the commotion in the hall. April looks out of the Spa Sink, "What do you think is going on out there?" Mermista shrugs, "I'm not sure, but we can't get out of here on our own. Let's just keep relaxing." April nods, "Sounds good. So tell me Mermista, is that Ravishing Reporter version of me still wearing that whorey mini skirt?" Mermista closes her eyes, "Oh yeah, the Turtles love it." April makes a disgusted look, "What a tramp."

Back in the hallway Miss M is thrown to the floor by Sky-Spy. "Oh GOD! Someone help me!!!" M is being dragged across the floor by the Roach spy. The stunning heroine is trying her best to escape, but Sky-Spy is strong. Adrenaline rushes through M though and she kicks Sky-Spy in the face. Rolling up, M reaches for something, anything, to help her survive this horrific ordeal. 

Lucky for M, Markiki still has shoes out in the hallway. M reaches for one and lands a fatal blow across the Roache's face. Sky-Spy hisses and falls to the floor. M screams and raises the shoe one more time, squashing it on Sky-Spy. 

Shaking and having trouble breathing M lifts the shoe up. She screams again as she sees a mangled Sky-Spy on the floor. "Somebody help me! I can't do this!!!" The last thing she wants to do is pick the dead Roach up. She gags and does her best not to throw up. 

An idea crosses her mind. It is pure evil, but after what she has been through she has no other choice. Using the shoe as a broom, Miss M sweeps Sky-Spy under Markiki's bedroom door. Standing up, M has a crooked smile on her face. What has she just done? In no time at all, she can hear her brother scream. At first this is funny, until she hears hissing and the fluttering of wings.

"Markiki?" M calls out. Her brother screams, "M, help me!!" Panic sets in with M and she tries to open her brother's bedroom door. The door is locked. Miss M shakes the door, hearing her brother scream louder. She has no idea what is happening on the other side. However she soon hears the sound of a window breaking. Followed by more screams. And then silence. 

Miss M is screaming and crying trying to open the door, "Markiki!! Markiki!! Say something!" M turns around to see her Action Figure Hero colleague Wolverine racing from her room, "Darlin' let me through, I'll get us in there!"

SNIKT!

Wolverine has his claws out and starts picking the lock to the door. "Got it!" Wolverine says and M slams the door open. "Markiki?" M says looking around. Glass and blood is everywhere. Markiki's hand suddenly reaches from under his bed grabbing M's ankle. She screams, and with the help of Wolverine they drag Markiki out from under the bed. He is in shock.

"Oh Markiki, I am so sorry for this! I never meant to hurt you, I never should have brushed Sky-Spy under your door!" Markiki's lips tremble, "I-i-i-i-t-t-t. I-i-i-i-t-t-t. It wasn't. It wasn't. DEAD! It wasn't dead! It bit my toe!"

Wolverine walks by the broken window sniffing the air, "Damn it! Sky-Spy got away. How is the toe?" M looks down at her brother's foot. The pinky toe has been nibbled on, but there is no sign of blood, "Markiki, where did all this blood come from?" M looks around the room.

"It's paint. I'm not bleeding, but the thing bit me!" Markiki shouts. Wolverine goes to get medical help. Miss M continues to apologize, they have no idea what is going to happen. 

Wolverine returns with Storm, Cyclops, and Victor Von Doom. Miss M looks at Victor, "What is he doing here? We need medical help!"

Victor looks at M, "I'm a Doctor. Let me look at his foot." M steps back. After some careful observations Dr. Doom concludes, "I'm sorry, but your brother will be undead soon. A bite from a Roach almost always turns the living into the walking dead."

Markiki groans and starts to cry, "I can't die! I wanna be in the sequel!" Miss M shakes her head, "Wait a minute. Dr. Doom are you sure? How can a Roach bite turn a human into a zombie? That makes no sense."

Dr. Doom shrugs, "I don't know. I could be wrong actually. Just sleep on it. If you aren't craving brains in the morning you'll be fine." Dr. Doom walks off leaving everyone speechless. M looks at her brother, "I'm so sorry Markiki. Please don't hate me." 

Markiki hugs his sister, "I'm not gonna hate you sis. But seriously, don't get me involved in your dramas anymore! Now take your toys and get out! I've had enough of this!" Markiki ushers everyone out. 

Miss M thanks Wolverine and checks on Mermista and April in the Spa Sink. There isn't much more that M can take. Until Rogue and Magneto show up.

"Sugah, we need to talk." Rogue says with a file in her hands. M looks at the two, "Where have you both been? Do you know that Gambit has been worried sick? He thinks ya'll have been bumping uglies!"

Rogue and Magneto look at each other and then quickly look away, "Sugah, that Cajun is not on my mind right now. We have been on an important mission. Look at these pictures." Miss M looks at the file and cringes as photos of Roaches stare at her, "Why are ya'll showing this to me?" 

Magneto calmy addresses the situation, "There are Roaches after you M. Your parents killed the King and Queen Cock Roach, their children now want your blood. That first picture is of Rita the Roach. She is in charge of the Roaches. The next photo is of her older brother Roach Clip. He was destined to be the ruler after their parents died, but he has unusual cravings. Rita is in charge and they are building an army as we speak. They are all chanting about wanting to destroy the House of M."

Miss M feels defeated, "I can't believe this. How are we going to stop them?" Magneto shakes his head, "There is no stopping them. We should have destroyed them when we had the chance all those years ago. There is nothing we can do. I for one will not try to peacefully coexist with them."

Rogues shakes her head, "Why am I not surprised Magneto? Just don't let Charles hear you say that, ok sugah? There is plenty we can do though." Rogue produces one more final picture, "This is Splashor. He is the Master of the Waterways. He is the only one connecting Rita's mission with the masses. If you can stop him, Rita won't be able to spread the word on the war."

"How do I kill Splashor? I've never even seen him!" M says. Rogue lowers her head, "Sugah, if any legends hold true, he'll be coming for you. And pray you can kill him first."

Miss M closes her eyes. It has only just begun...  



Toy Chest Tuesday! McDonald's Turbo Cone!!!!!

Alright dear readers I have a confession to make. I love McDonald's. I love the food. I even love the Happy Meal toys. I realize my pilates workouts hate me for it, but I don't care. I am not one of those crazy fools that is terrified of food. I love food. I'm half Italian for crying out loud! I have curves. And a fatal addiction to those yummy fries.

So look what I am serving up for today's Toy Chest! The McDonald's New Food Changeables Turbo Cone!! This toy came from a series of Happy Meal toys that involved the famous foods from McDonald's menu that transformed into robots or dinosaurs. They were quite popular and are probably the impetus for Happy Meal toys eventually being banned from certain cities.

The Turbo Cone was one of the robot Changeables. The coolest thing about these toys was the total ripoff of Transformers. A robot disguised as food is still a robot in disguise and therefore a Transformers ripoff. No matter how tasty the food looks.

As you can see, this is the paper that came with the toy. The Turbo Cone was a nice soft serve cone that turned into a female robot! That's right, a female robot! I loved this toy because from what I remember the New Food Changeables were always guy robots or dinosaurs. And for those in the know, I love when girl characters get some representation too!

Here is a picture of the Turbo Cone in disguise! I'm so craving some soft serve right now!

With a quick change and all the cool sound effects of a Michael Bay movie, Turbo Cone shows her true colors! Those colors being green and pink. Works for me!

Here is a larger picture of Turbo Cone. Her cheeks look like little discs of candy. I don't really know her story, but I'm thinking she works with the other New Food Changeables to fight against the evil villain known as Nutrition!! 

  

Finally here is a picture of the instructions for transforming Turbo Cone from a tasty treat to a robotic threat!

I love this toy. It was at a time in the history of the world where eating at McDonald's was ok. You could get a Happy Meal and no one made you feel guilty that you were killing your heart or claim that you were trying to eat your feelings. No one even knew what a trans fatty acid was! (I think) Ronald McDonald even had a group of friends, now it just seems like he has a ton of enemies. Look, we all deserve a break today! So go support your local McDonald's! After that first fry, you'll thank me! 

So that's it for Toy Chest Tuesday! Be sure to check back, because Night of the Living Roach 3: A New Breed will be crawling its way across a screen near you soon!!!  

  

Pico Purse, the latest trend!

I know it seems like I am nothing but a dorky chick and that concept more than likely has its fair share of stereotypes. I'm sure people believe that all I think about is She-Ra and comics. (Ok that might be partially true, but still!) Or that I have no life because I talk to my action figures. (Only when I'm stressed) Well the truth is this, dorky people aren't losers. We have friends. We have other interests besides stalking toy stores.

For instance I love fashion. I can spend as much time combing shoe racks or clothing racks as I can walking through Toysrus searching for the latest Lego Minifigure. I like to call it finding a balance. And let's be real, as human beings, we need shoes. I for one wouldn't dare walk barefoot everywhere. My goodness I'm not a cavewoman.

So it seems I am doubly cursed. I love to collect figures, dolls, and all kinds of dorky stuff as well as amazing shoes, bags, and anything that can make me look better. Some people would call me vain, I however call it preservation. I am cautiously approaching 30 and I want to keep looking fabulous well into my nineties. Seriously. When I am 94 I am going to look amazing. At least that is the plan.

Alright there you have it, not uncommon at all to find me carrying my Uncanny X-Men in one arm and my issue of Vogue in the other. That is kinda me in a Cliffs Notes version. On a side note, the September issue of Vogue is out, and it is their biggest one yet! It is like a phone book! I love it!

Ok so by now you might all be wondering, where is this post going? I love fashion, but my tastes in fashion are for the expensive things. I want to dine on Chanel when in reality I only have a budget for the combo meal at Marshalls (i.e. the clearance rack.) However every now and then I will treat myself to something nice.

For example a few months ago my husband and I traveled to a nice outlet mall that I had been dreaming of going to. When we got there, I literally thought I had died and gone to the Crystal Castle. The place was out of control. I didn't know where to start. It was like going to a library and being overwhelemd by all the books to look through. The outlet mall was a library, of discounts! I got lost in that mall for hours. I completely lost track of time.

Somehow I finally ended up leaving, and on my arm was a shopping bag containing a very nice designer bag. I mean the deal I got on this bag was a steal. Just a total steal. And can I tell you how gorgeous the bag was? It had this sparkly gold leather that just shined so brightly in the sun! It was like I bought my own mini sun to carry on my arm! Just stunning! My husband even got a nice wallet as well (though he would end up losing it a week later, an omen of things to come.) Either way we were just amazed by all the deals we got at this outlet mall!

Eventually we had to go back to our normal lives away from the designer stores with their lovingly low prices. Sadly I had a great deal of trepidation with wearing my new bag out to places. I wanted nothing more than to keep it in the shopping bag, taking it out to admire it every now and then.

Well my girlfriends started to think I was lying about this bag, they all wanted to see it and I wouldn't leave the house with it. So after some back and forth with my conscience, I took the bag outside. For just a few trips out. We went out to the grocery store and to dinner. I wanted the bag to see the outside world and really explore all that life had to offer. I didn't want to be completely overprotective!

Of course the unthinkable ended up happening. I met my best friend for dinner last week. We decided to go to this yummy Mexican restaurant, where the food is a treat. I wanted to come prepared. I felt brave and confident waltzing in the restaurant wearing something amazing and carrying my new bag on my arm! I felt so chic!

Hell, I even saw someone I went to school with that hated me and all I could think was, "Eat your heart out! I look fabulous with my new bag and well coordinated outfit!" For once my hair was looking nice. I had red lipstick on, and it wasn't on my teeth! I was feeling so great!

After we were seated I placed my bag on one of the empty chairs, because any sane person already knows that you never place your bag on the floor (it is dirty) and hanging your bag on your chair will mean that somone will walk by and bump into it. I thought my bag would be safe on a nice empty chair.

Until the kind waiter walked by to deliver some chips, salsa, and green sauce to our table. This is when time suddenly went into slow motion. I watched in horror as the waiter lost his grip on the tray and before the last bowl of green sauce could be safely placed on the table, it slipped and fell. All over my new bag.

My mouth fell open and I looked like one of those whale sharks that floats through the water with an open mouth collecting plankton or whatever the hell those things eat. It was an awful moment. Just awful. My best friend went into quick action and started wiping the bag as best she could. I was still in shock. The waiter was freaking out, I guess he was expecting me to yell at him.

I may be a lot of things, but I am not the kind of person that is going to yell at someone for an accident. I mean I was worried about the fate of my bag, but I wasn't going to morph into Mega Bitch and chew the guy out. That wouldn't be right.

Anyways after I got out of my shock, we tried to clean the bag to the best of our ability. The manager of the restaurant was very kind, he saw everything that happened and offered to pay for any cleaning that the bag would need. I thought that was incredibly nice.

However I do not trust any dry cleaning place to help my bag, and boy does the bag need help. I am pretty sure I got the green sauce off. The only problem is that the bag now smells like some green pico sauce. Really? Seriously? I buy this nice new bag that I am nervous to take out of the house, and the cosmos do this to me? My bag smells like a tasty dip. I am hoping that the September issue of Vogue will share that one of the biggest fall trends is to own a bag that smells like green pico sauce. Cross your fingers!

So now I have all these sweet smelling dryer sheets in the bag, trying to air the smell out. I just can't believe it. I think this is life's way of saying, "Girl, stop trying to feed those expensive fashion tastes and just stick to the Marshalls clearance rack." I'll always have Vogue to thumb through and dream about, and I think that is enough. Because let me tell you, it is a terrible feeling when you buy something nice and something bad happens to it, especially when you have barely worn the darn thing!  

Night of the Living Roach 2: The Return

To catch up, check out the previous installment Night of the Living Roach

And now, for those who have been waiting...

Night of the Living Roach 2: The Return

Miss M can hear birds chirping outside her bedroom window. She slowly opens her stunning blue eyes to see the light of the morning shining through her plantation shutters. Her room is awash in light. The action figure heroes are slowly waking up as well.

The house is quiet. Miss M slowly steps out of bed, briefly recalling the events that occured the night before. Shaking the horror off, Miss M walks out into the hallway. No one has woken up yet. Walking down the hall Miss M is brought back to the events with the Roach. She sidesteps her brother's shoes and heads to the restroom. Did the events from last night actually happen?

"Impossible. It had to have been a dream." Miss M tells herself. She stares at herself in the mirror over the sink. "These dark circles under my eyes have got to go. My goodness I look like death." Suddenly Miss M hears a strange noise. The noise continues, faintly. Miss M turns around to locate the sound. Various thoughts are running through her mind.

"Glimmer? Is this one of your distress calls?" The lovely heroine speaks out loud. There is no answer. Miss M is close to giving up when she finally pinpoints the noise. "It can't be. It can't be." Miss M says to herself. The air becomes still, her blue eyes zero in on the closed toilet lid. The noise is definitely coming from the toilet. Finally the only sound she can hear is the pounding in her heart.

Her well manicured hands shake as she reaches to lift the toilet lid. To her utter horror Miss M is staring at Dumpstor, swimming around in the toilet trying to escape. Screams pierce the stratosphere as Miss M takes a step back. Dumpstor is doing his best to escape and he shouts, "You bitch! I'm going to get you for this!!!"

Miss M shakes her head, "I killed you! How are you even alive right now?!" Dumpstor lets out a laugh, "You can't kill us. We will always find a way to return." Time becomes important and Miss M acts as fast as she can. She lunges towards the toilet handle. Dumpstor can see what she is doing and howls as the toilet is flushed again.

"Don't ever come back!" Miss M screams shaking violently. What is happening? Footsteps come storming down the hall as Mama P rushes into the bathroom and stares at her daughter with eyes half open, "M? What is going on? I feel like you have been screaming all night."

"It's nothing mom. I've just had a rough night. I'm ok." Miss M rushes past her mom and heads to her room. Alone with her action figure heroes Miss M plops down as Cyclops, leader of the X-Men, approaches her. "Good morning M. Everyone is worried about you, there was a lot of commotion last night. I tried to talk with Gambit and Wolverine, but they didn't know what was going on."

With a smile that is hiding unspeakable horrors our heroine describes the recent events that have happened to her. Cyclops is concerned, "Do you think this Roach will be back?" Miss M isn't sure. She has an idea though about her next course of action. She looks at Cyclops, "I'm not sure if the monster will be back or not, but I am going to find out some answers!"

The day ticks away. Miss M does a little shopping with Mama P. A day of shopping leads to phone calls to friends about what had been bought on sale earlier in the day. Miss M feels like the day has been productive. It is only going to get better when she enlists the help of a family member.

Her brother Markiki is in his room going over some homework. Miss M plops herself on a chair and stares at her baby brother, though he is in his teens. No longer a baby by any means. "Markiki, are you up for an adventure tonight?" Markiki looks up from his work. Slight dread builds, "What kind of adventure?"

Miss M tries to break the idea to him easily, "I am thinking about going back into the Attic." Markiki drops what he is doing and stares at his older sister, "Are you serious? M! That is the dumbest idea! Why do you want to go in the Attic again?"

This was a tricky answer, "Markiki, something is going on. First of all I really want to find Glimmer. Secondly something awful went down last night. And I have a feeling that it is just going to get worse." 

"What are you talking about M? You sound so cryptic right now. What happened to you?" Miss M holds her breath and tells her brother everything. Starting from trying to kill Dumpstor with the shoe to flushing the monster down the toilet twice, Miss M leaves nothing out.

Markiki's eyes are wide open and M feels that her brother will think she is crazy. After a moment of silence Markiki gets up and sits next to his sister on the small chair, "You killed a roach with my shoe last night?! What is the matter with you? I don't want roach guts on my shoe!"

Miss M is completely shocked, "With everything I just told you, the only thing you have to say is about your shoe?! I nearly died last night!" Markiki rolls his eyes, "Such a drama queen, you did not nearly die last night." The two siblings begin to laugh as they realize how much of a mess M really is, and about the quirky adventure that is about to ensue.

Elsewhere, the temperatures rise in the imposing Attic. Sky-Spy is pacing back and forth on top of a box. He is awaiting a higher-up. With Dumpstor still missing, the Roaches are suspecting something most foul. The sounds of roach footsteps grow louder as Sky-Spy finds himself face to face with Splashor, a hulking Roach that is master of the waterways. Sky-Spy's wings flutter, "Splashor, what should we do? Dumpstor never returned. His mission was to retrieve food from the Kitchen. I fear something terrible has happened."

Splashor growls, "Do you think a human is responsible?" Sky-Spy sneers, "Most likely. It was the humans who killed our King and Queen. If they did something to Dumpstor, than we will avenge them all." Sky-Spy prepares to leave and see what information he can find about any human activity. Splashor scuttles off to see if there is anything known about Dumpstor's whereabouts. Maybe someone witnessed something.

Outside of the Attic, Miss M and Markiki are making there ascent towards the Attic gate, which looks like a hidden door on the wall. The day has become night, but the Attic will still be hot. Markiki pauses and looks at his sister's clothing choices for braving the Attic, "Are you really going to wear a tube top, boom-boom shorts, and heeled flip flops in the Attic? You are going to get hurt." True our lovely heroine may have looked slightly tacky in her get-up, but she had her reasons, "Markiki I am dressed perfectly for the Attic. I am wearing as little as possible because it is hot. And these are not flip flops. They are sandals with a heel. I am more clumsy in something flat!"

What she says makes sense on some level, though Markiki is not really buying it, "I think you are making a mistake." The two siblings open the door into the Attic, though they notice it was already slightly open. Miss M finds that interesting, the last time she had left the Attic the door had been firmly shut...

The heat inside the Attic is always a shock, breathing becomes a little more different. Miss M motions for Markiki to stay behind and shine a light for her. The goal is to find Glimmer and maybe some answers about her attack last night. For some reason Miss M feels like the evil she flushed away came from the Attic.

Darkness looms all around her, the only thing helping her is the light from her brother. She can make out the shapes of various boxes that have been homes to all kinds of items. Miss M starts to whisper Glimmer's name. Unknown to Miss M there are eyes looking at her in the darkness. She is being watched. Sky-Spy is taking notes, glad he hadn't left the Attic yet.

The heat is slowly getting to M. She feels like her movements are getting slower. The Attic is just too hot. There are no signs of Glimmer or anything else for that matter. Markiki calls out to her, "M! Find anything yet? Hurry, the heat is escaping into the house!" Miss M motions for him to be quiet, she suddenly hears something.

The noise is coming from a box, "Psst. Psst. Miss M, is that you?" Miss M looks at the box and squints her eyes, "April? April O'Neil from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Oh my goodness! Yes it is me. What are you doing in here, it has been ages!" Miss M has not seen First Edition April O'Neil since the Great Spring Clean Sweep of '93.

April looks at M, "Wow, you have grown up! It has been a long time. Well listen, after you got older and dumped your friends in the Attic, I got separated from the Turtles and all my variants. I've been living in this box with old baby toys. You gotta get me outta here, they whine so much!" Miss M motions for April to get out of the box. Miss M goes to put April in her pocket, but her boom-boom shorts have none. April ends up in M's tube top, nestled between the "girls."

"I'm sorry April, it's the only place I can put you." Miss M looks apologetically. April shrugs, "After what I have seen, this is nothing. Let's hurry and escape though, before we pass out. Or worse."

"Before we do anything, I need to find Glimmer." Miss M says searching through some other boxes and finding nothing. April shakes her head, "Listen doll, you may have gotten prettier with age, but I pray that hasn't made you dumber. We need to get out of here, you don't understand. They will be coming out soon."

Miss M is confused, "Who?" April gives M the scoop on the Roaches, "The Roaches run this place. They come out in droves, looting from the boxes. Feeding on anything that looks edible. They live it up in here. I have seen things that are terrible. M, they deficate on anything and everything!"

Markiki calls out to his sister, "M? Who are you talking to? Come on, you need to get out of there!" Miss M shouts, "I'm talking to myself! I'm heading out now!" She turns to leave, but feels dizzy as she looks at her long journey to the exit. "Oh goodness, I don't think I can make it." Miss M gasps out. April looks up at the heroine, "Listen doll, you are gonna get it together and get us out. I'm not ending my life like this." April says motioning at her current position.

Sky-Spy decides to make himself known, along with some friends. Miss M and April both hear the sounds of fluttering wings and an onslaught of footsteps behind them. April taps on Miss M, "Doll, we need to hurry." Miss M looks back and wants to faint. A wave of Roaches are running towards her. She also spots a flying Roach aiming for her head, April screams, "M! Don't let Sky-Spy near you! Faster doll, I'm slipping between the girls!!"

Our heroine realizes she may have made a mistake wearing heeled sandals in the Attic. While making her way over some boxes, Miss M's heel gets caught on an old Fischer Price doll house. The lovely beauty almost falls to the Attic floor cursing out loud. The Roaches are fastly approaching. Markiki is trying to understand what is going on, "Are you ok M?" Her brother shines the light and spots the wave of Roaches scurrying towards his big sis, "Oh my God! M! Hurry they are after you!"

Miss M makes it to the door way and is gasping for air, "Markiki, help me out, I can't feel my legs!" The Roaches are inches away. Miss M reaches into her tube top and grabs April. Throwing the toy to the blue shag carpet, Miss M struggles to get out. Markiki grabs her arms and drags his sister out of the doorway. Sky-Spy screams as the door is shut on the Attic.

Trying to catch her breath M looks at her brother. He shakes his head, "What just happened? You could've been killed!" Miss M shakes her nerves off, "I'm good. Nothing bad happened, and on a positive note, I found my original April O'Neil!" Markiki looks at April in her yellow jumpsuit, "No Glimmer though huh?" Miss M shakes her head, "No. I'm not giving up though!" The two siblings get up. April looks around the big room, it is nice to be out of the Attic. The three head out of the loft and back to the first floor. With the Attic door firmly shut, M breathes a sigh of relief. The Roaches have been halted from further activity. For now.

Back inside the Attic Sky-Spy flutters about yelling, "That wench! She shut the door! It makes no difference. There are other ways to get the information I need." Sky-Spy laughs as he spies a slight opening to the Outside World from the ceiling. He flies off, formulating a brand new plan...