Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue!

I love perusing the aisles of a Toysrus. Nothing is more thrilling than walking into that giant toystore and just seeing what I can find. I have made sure that whenever I am on vacation or visiting other cities to be sure and stop inside the Toysrus stores in the area. A fun trip just isn't a trip unless there is a pitstop to the local Toysrus. The funny thing is that I have yet to visit all the Toysrus stores in the city I live in. There are two that I frequent, and I must say they are the best two Toysrus stores in existence.

Anyways, I recently had the honor of visiting a local Toysrus that I have never been to. While in between meetings at work I found myself driving by the fabled toy store. Well anytime I see those colorful kooky letters I say to myself, "I'm just going to run in and see if there is anything of interest."

I parked the car as fast as I could. I was so excited! I felt like there was so much hope and possibility to be had! Walking in though was very strange. I knew instantly that I was not in Kansas anymore. I'm not from Kansas anyway, but I just knew I wasn't there. The lighting was the first dead giveaway that something was wrong.

There was dim lighting everywhere. I felt at any moment someone would walk around the corner offering up the latest Collector Barbie doll with a side of smack. It was just creepy. The floors were dirty and needed to be mopped. I swear I heard sporadic screams from a distance. This being September, it was too early for the screams to be coming from a Halloween soundtrack.

I made a small mental list about what I needed to look for quickly so I could be on my way.

1. Lego Minifigures
2. Marvel Universe
3. Other various female super heroes
4. Wrestling females
5. Thundercats
6. Barbie aisle
7. Monster High
8. Strawberry Shortcake
9. My Little Pony
10. He-Man Hotwheels (A total shock I know)

I think that was most of the list. With the list forming in my mind, I was ready to go. Now the layout of this creepy Toysrus was different. Out of every Toysrus store that I have been to from all over the world, this layout was new to me. I felt like I needed a map. And possibly a sword of honor.

Eventually I figured out how to get to the Lego aisle. I was searching for something blue, as in the lush blue packaging of the Series 5 Lego Minifigures. My goal was to find a Cavewoman, Zookeeper, or Mob Man Minifigure. With the state of the store, I assumed the Series 5 Lego Minifigures would be plentiful. I kept telling myself, "Who would want to brave this scary store?"

Apparantly the infamous Toy Bandit had already made a visit. He had tore through the store. Literally. There were three minifigure bags, and they were all slashed open! I heard the cries of the Lego Minifigures, they were screaming, "Help us! We have been violated!" Naturally I peeked through the slashed bags and I couldn't take home all three but the Zookeeper found her way in my shopping cart. She was so happy, I could just hear her saying, "Oh thank you for getting me out of this lousy dump!"

My next stop was to see the super hero section. Sadly there was something old, as in sets of figures I have already seen months ago from my more fabulous Toysrus stores. There was nothing I needed. I felt like time was ticking away, I needed to get out of there! I was risking too much! After seeing a used spare shoe on the floor, I knew I was walking further into a nightmare.

On another aisle I came across a really cool item. A nice G.I. Joe set with an animated accurate Lady Jaye. I had seen one of these before. In fact I already own one, but this set was on clearance. As in really low clearance. I was ready to rescue one for purchase until I noticed that this item would be my something borrowed. The Toy Bandit had slashed open the box and borrowed the Destro that came in the set. Really? The Toy Bandit thought it would be ok to just steal Destro? Come on, Destro "dates" the Baroness, and we all know about her reputation. I hope the Toy Bandit washed his hands after handling that Cobra fool.

Moving along I headed for the Thundercats. I have been doing my best to find a new Cheetara. In all honesty everyone should own a Cheetara. She is really cool and runs really fast. However my hopes for finding her were dashed, because the Toy Bandit had already scooped her up. There was a chance though for something new. I found a Tygra Thundercats Classic and placed him in my shopping cart for a friend. I was glad he was there!

So let's see, moving along I had a couple items already and it was time to visit the pink aisle. My favorite place! I long for the days when I will see She-Ra grace the pink aisle once again. I realize these are pipe dreams of a hopeless dorkette, but I can truly hope. Maybe when She-Ra turns 30 there will be a special release of the vintage toys. I'm not holding my breath.

Anyways so there were a few other "something new" items I found on the pink aisle. It would seem that the Toy Bandit likes preserving the health status of the pink aisle, because everything seemed ok. There were no damaged or slashed items. No one was missing a shoe. Aside from a funny dirty diaper smell, everything seemed normal.

After looking over my findings and deciding what was important to purchase and what could be found else where, I made my way to check out. The only highlight of the store was the cashier. He was jamming out to 4 Non Blondes, and we had a nice conversation about music from the 90's. Of course he looked like he wasn't even old enough to really remember the 4 Non Blondes, but it was nice. He also called me ma'am, which makes me kinda cringe. I remember when I was younger, and no one called me that. I was always, "Hey girl." Or, "Hey hot piece." Now I am just ma'am. As in, "You are old. Do not pass Go. Do not collect 200 dollars. Just old. And moldy. With your jangly hips." I did ask him about the Toy Bandit and his crimes though, but he kinda looked at me like I was strange. Oh well, what can you do?

That was my excursion into a new unchartered Toysrus. All in all it wasn't that bad, though I am not sure I will return. The Toy Bandit calls that place home, and I would hate to come across him. He might cut me. The experience did yield me something borrowed, something old, something new, and something blue though! Also, my Zookeeper minifigure is thrilled to be in a safe place making new minifigure friends!

On an unrelated note, I just saw the funniest Jem episode and I have to tell you all about it. The Misfits and Eric Raymond work with Techrat to mess with the Holograms (again.) Anyway, Techrat has created a time machine. The time machine takes the Holograms across various parts of music history. With every location in time that the Holograms go to, people from that time period appear in Techrat's lab.

Well the Holograms are time warped to the 60's, and a bunch of hippies show up in the lab. One hippy is like, "Man, what is going on?" The hippy looks at Pizzazz and is basically like, "Who are you?" And Pizzazz looks at the hippy in disgust and groans, "Ugh, hippies! This keeps getting worse and worse!" Love it! That episode was truly outrageous! Youtube or Hub it now!

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