Tuesday, May 28, 2013

May 2013 Bodacious Baddie!

Toy Chest Tuesday is going to be delayed this week, but have no fear, it will be back next week and better than ever! (We'll be visiting the 90's, when a certain female detective wore club dresses and essentially had a crazy skin condition courtesy of a symbiotic relationship with an ancient weapon. It's gonna be fun.) Anyways, read on for the latest!

Video games come and go, but certain characters stick around with us. I finally got the chance to sit down with a real legend. Before you know it, I might just be taking over April O'Neil's job! Don't tell her I said that, she's been touchy lately with the whole TMNT movie role going to a tart. Enjoy the latest Bodacious Baddie!

May 2013 Bodacious Baddie!

Last year he starred in a flashy biopic that melted our hearts while also bringing us inside the mind of a classic video game bad guy. I was fortunate enough to talk with Wreck-It Ralph in a video game themed set. A special thanks goes out to Fix-It Felix and Link for providing such fantastic set design.

Diary of a Dorkette: Here we are! I'm finally glad to be talking with you Wreck-It Ralph.
Wreck-It Ralph: You can just call me Ralph.
Diary: Ok. That's fine. I'm just really excited to meet you. I practically fell in love with you during your gripping movie this past year. I wish it had been nominated for more awards.
WIR: We promoted the heck out of that film too. It was a nice little movie, I got to reunite with some old friends. That had been my first time actually being in a movie too. Nothing at all what I expected it to be.
Diary: I think the piece I enjoyed so much about this film was your willingness to put a face on issues surrounding anger and villainy. You let out a lot of dark agression. I mean Ryan Gosling only wishes he had been in this movie.
WIR: It's funny you mention that. I had heard word that he had campaigned for the role. Luckily I was able to play myself.
Diary: How is your anger these days? Are you still wrecking peoples homes and lives?

WIR: Huh? I'm confused, why would I do that?
Diary: Well I mean, you make a living out of destroying things. You are like the greatest bad guy of the 21st Century.
WIR: Whoa, that's not right. I only play a bad guy in an arcade. I thought the movie explained that.
Diary: That's not what I got from watching Wreck-It Ralph.
WIR: Are we talking about the same movie? I'm not really a bad guy.
Diary: Oh. Crap.
WIR: What's wrong?
Diary: Well... I mean... I'm interviewing you as the May 2013 Bodacious Baddie. I was under the impression that you were going to be, ya know, bad.

WIR: This is going to be an awkward interview...
Diary: Well it doesn't have to be! Oh look at me. Who is the one wrecking things now? I can salvage this!
WIR: I don't give too many interviews, so if you want to end this now...
Diary: No! We are going to finish this interview and it is going to be the best damn interview of our lives!

It was hardly going to be the best interview of our lives. Everything I was planning on asking him involved world domination and anger fantasies. I realized that my career was on the line so I did what any hard hitting journalist would do, I asked myself, "What would April O'Neil do?" So thinking on the fly, I decided to take things in a different direction...

Diary: So talk to me about the early days of video games and arcades. Fix-It Felix, Jr. was one of the earlier arcade games right?
WIR: Oh yeah. We came up with some of the greatest games in the business. I had the best job too. Wrecking things was my passion. Getting paid to knock stuff down? Oh yeah!
Diary: Ya know, I've often wondered, why did you stick to the arcade only? Weren't there any deals to appear on home consoles?
WIR: Oh wow, you are going back to the beginning huh? There was a time when I could have branched out from the arcade. The home console market was exploding and Nintendo was introducing products that were seeking to change the way people played games. I was in competition with a little Italian guy. We both had egos, but we also had a nice pedigree.
Diary: Let's back up just a second, how were you set to be the breakout star and not, say, Felix?
WIR: Well Nintendo was looking to create a video game involving two brothers that save a Princess. Felix and I weren't related, but we were going to act like we were. Nintendo really liked our dynamic and everything. Luckily, they liked me more and was setting it up for me to be the default main character. Felix was going to be Player Two. The only problem was we were up against this Italian guy and his skinny brother.
Diary: Well we already know how this story ends up, everything would go to Mario and Luigi, but why did it end up that way?
WIR: Have I got an answer for you. I was nervous the day of my audition. And so this Mario guy gives me a mushroom, telling me it'll take the edge off.

WIR: Well, it did more than that. I went ballistic! I grew out of scale and just went on a rampage. Nintendo enjoyed it immensely, they couldn't stop laughing. They just didn't think I had the control to take on the fame of headlining a video game and being the face of a major company. They were probably right.

Diary: So that's it? Nintendo was just done with you?
WIR: Oh no Miss M, far from it. They still wanted to work with me and the rest of the cast from Fix-It Felix, Jr. They had all these plans for us. They were going to make a street style RPG. That was scrapped though and then Nintendo decided that there was no need to reinvent the wheel. They decided they'd just update the arcade version of Fix-It Felix, Jr. for the NES.

Diary: Oh wow. That's strange though, I don't remember Fix-It Felix, Jr. ever being on the NES.
WIR: It wasn't. The game never made it out the gate. The tenants, the Nicerlanders, were all concerned about being on a home console. Their concern was that being viewed on a television screen would add an extra 10 Pixels to their frame. Vanity would be the downfall of Fix-It Felix, Jr. ever making it on a home console.
Diary: Wow. That is such a shame too!
WIR: It was a shame for gamers. I was perfectly fine. We still got to play all the demos to all kinds of cool NES games when we were off from work.
Diary: That's cool! What were some of your favorite titles from that time?

WIR: Let's see. I felt a connection to Karnov. I enjoyed that game a lot. Really anything involving button mashing was a thrill. At that time everyone loved Mega Man 2. I also once dated the punk rock chick from Maniac Mansion.
Diary: Really? Now that is interesting!
WIR: Not really. It's hard to date when you both have jobs in different games. Though I have to say, we all had a crush on Samus. The moment she took that helmet off, we were all in love.
Diary: I do remember that. Samus was a pretty awesome character.
WIR: And really nice too! Samus is one of the friendliest people in the gaming business.

As it stands, that could have been it for the interview. However Ralph had more ideas up his sleeve. He wanted to show me around the video game world. Hopping on a Light Boy sled with him, we traveled to meet some of his friends. We may have even got into a racing contest with Sonic. It was a great thrill ride, but as the interview started winding down, Ralph got a little reflective about his history in the video game business.

WIR: It's hard sometimes, ya know? For 30 years I've been working on the same game, busting up the same building. I have really been wondering if it is all worth it.
Diary: But look what you have accomplished! You starred in a well-received movie. You've garnered a lot of respect.
WIR: Yeah but it took 30 years Miss M! Sometimes I wish I had gotten the chance to really break out sooner, ya know? I would have liked to have been the mascot for a home console. I mean, what's a Bandicoot got that I don't got?

Diary: Don't answer that one.
WIR: Yeah. It's just crazy ya know? No one tells you that the choices you make in your career early on might haunt you forever. When I first got this job I was fine being the villain. And now, I wonder what it would have been like had I been the good guy.
Diary: But you are a really good guy! Your movie practically showed that.
WIR: Says the woman that is interviewing me for the slot as the May 2013 Bodacious Baddie... Sometimes no matter how hard you work at something, you are still going to be seen as what you've always been considered.
Diary: Well that's my own fault! Don't let that get you down. You are just a joy to know. What would we have done without the wonderful Wreck-It Ralph in our very midst?
WIR: I don't know. Celebrated some other bad guy?
Diary: That is quite possible.

The interview had come to its inevitable conclusion. I was sad to see it all end, but luckily he's only a coin toss away.

Diary: So this is it. I really thank you for being such a great sport with all this Bodacious Baddie business.
WIR: Yeah, it's alright Miss M. I'm used to it. It was nice talking to you. Before I forget though, you are in danger.
Diary: Excuse me? Have you seen my life choices? I'm always in danger.
WIR: No. You are in real danger. I know I may play a bad guy in an arcade, but I occasionally get out. I'm in circles with real villains, the ones that make your dreams into nightmares. There are rumors swirling that someone, or maybe even a group, are after you.
Diary: Well that's ridiculous! Who could possibly want to come after me! I'm a dorkette!
WIR: I don't know. But just be careful.
Diary: Um ok. I guess on that note I will call it a wrap. It was a pleasure meeting you Ralph.
WIR: Same here Miss M.

After the meeting I couldn't help but phone my mentor April O'Neil to let her know that my life might be in danger. Her reply, "Oh Miss M, you aren't really involved in hard hitting journalism until someone wants you dead. Consider yourself in the big leagues now." Great. I was absolutely thrilled.

May 2013 Bodacious Baddie

That's it for now folks! Stick around as I bring to you the month's Heroic Hottie very soon and don't forget. Next Tuesday will be a fantastic Toy Chest! And finally, this weekend will be an all new Adora's Search for Honor. It's Adora and Bow's wedding! Someone might get punched.      

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